By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 18:03 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
I agree, your life sucks 59 387
You deserved it 6 282

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Top comments

Didn't know they lasted so long....

Whoosh. Right over your head


Didn't know they lasted so long....

Pwn17 25

Well, she probably got it recently before seeing him, not weeks ago.

Whoosh. Right over your head

You hear that? That's the sound of sarcasm soaring right over your head. Edit: damn 15. You win this round.

Yeah they don't last that long..

jman26 11

Swing and a miss

Well, being the optimist I am, you can borrow my shotgun! Oh wait I meant to say maybe it's a misunderstanding?

Pwn17 25

Looking back at this, I don't know how the hell I missed the sarcasm. By the way, your responses were hilarious. :)

64 - don't worry. Happens to the best of us. Shit, just look at the next FML to see my goof.

ravenh1979 13

Umm, she could have just got it..

That's the point...*Rolls eyes*

RenoTheRhino 30

Haha! #81 Nordrag, what FML was your "goof" on?

Did she at least try to say it was an accident with a vacuum cleaner? lol. Seriously though...that really sucks...FYL.

Or one of those stupid rubber pop things. Where you like invert it and then moments later it jumps. My little brother use to suction them to his arm and leave all sorts of marks.

come on now. its much more likely she accidentally burned herself with the curling iron. no OP you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Seriously though I think a few changes are in order.

I now have a mental image of the (hopefully now ex) girlfriend wrestling a mutant vacuum monster.

Let's not jump to conclusions. She probably just got some meaningless sucker to give it her. It was to fend off any further suitors until your safe return. See, what a great girlfriend!?

flashback.miss 28

Give her arse a matching bruise. She didn't even try bothering to cover it up with makeup? At least you found out now instead of walking in on her being necked by another guy.

Wow! wtf, you don't hit girls no matter what they do!

I'll never understand the 'never hit girls' mentality. By that logic, even if a man was raped (or worse) by a woman, he shouldn't be allowed to defend himself.

Exactly pokelad. Why don't we just not be sexist with it and say "don't hit people". If a girl/boy friend does some shit like this, dump them. If someone does something you don't like, deal with it or don't associate with them. There's rarely a reason to hit anyone, but to single girls out as the ones who shouldn't be hit both encourages sexism and promotes the idea that it's okay to hit males.

She'd probably like getting hit on the ass.

MzZombicidal 36

That whole "never hit a girl" mentality always gets me. If I were to walk up and punch a man in the face, I'd expect to get beat up! Why? Because I fucking deserved it! Just like I would deserve to be hit for doing anything a man did to get hit.

16- it is a shitty double standard. I'm not at all saying that violence against women is acceptable, but sometimes they just assume its a "get out of jail free card" and act as if they untouchable. No class.

16- it is a shitty double standard. I'm not at all saying that violence against women is acceptable, but sometimes they just assume its a "get out of jail free card" and act as if they untouchable. No class.

Yea well, I was still always taught don't hit a girl. If she's trying to kill me I'll defend myself, but usually when a girls bugging me I just tickle her. It's mans best defense against them.:)

TheDrifter 23

I just turn up the creepy factor until they flee in terror. Merely suggesting that I might do something worse than hit her, with a creepy smile, is usually enough.

I had a girl punch me right in the jaw and after fighting back everyone was pissed at me. I barely touched her, just enough to scare her off, but she just hit me out of the blue because she didn't like me or something. I wasn't even paying any attention to her. A girl should only be hit if she is attacking you or something like that.

I am a female and honestly I say, to have true equality one should not care whether you are a guy or girl. If someone deserves to be hit in the face, they deserve it. But in this case she just need to hear you say "so long".

ravenh1979 13

Agreed!! :) don't understand why u got so many negative votes for that. So I gave ya a thumbs up!! :)

UnluckyGenius 21

It was the vacuum I swear!

I always told my parents my hickeys were from my curling iron. Thank goodness they never figured out my hair was always straight as an arrow.

#13 - a comment that actually made me laugh

UnluckyGenius 21

I once got a bruise on my neck from a paintball hit. When my cousins saw it a week later while I was visiting them, they were ready to throw a party for me because they thought I got a girlfriend.

Sinistra_Blue 12

#30, the same thing happened to me. I was playing woodsball and got shot in the side of my neck. It didn't break, but I was completely stunned for a couple seconds. Hurt like hell. And left a "hickey"

ise3 10

Violinists get hickeys. Ask any violinist who practices.

yawateverok 10

thats nasty why would u say that

yawateverok 10

thats nasty why would u say that

yawateverok 10

thats nasty why would u say that

It could have been a hickey bug bite.

ravenh1979 13


ThatGuyWhoTalks 10

Time for a new girlfriend that isn't a ratchet whore

she was probably using a vacuum cleaner and she lost control of it.

Nothing else to say other than cool, now move on.

Awe not cool. That sucks op

Time to move on

I think she's not your girlfriend anymore :/