Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML
Today, the neighbors' kid got a new airhorn. FML
Today, I was teaching my two year-old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML
Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML
Today, my boyfriend trapped me in a corner of our apartment and kept making sounds that he knows cause me to become violently angry (I have misophonia). He wouldn't stop, even though I was practically begging him to, and now he's mad that I freaked out and broke his nose to get away from him. FML
Today, I asked my son to repeat something he had said. He got right up in my face and screamed that it was time I got a "fucking hearing aid." His siblings agreed with him. My husband agreed so much, he won’t even punish him for yelling and swearing, because, “Honestly, we all wanted to scream it.” FML
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
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Top comments
me234 7
That sucks his parents should have to pay to get your ears checked
viper64 10
Stupid kids...
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Comments (172)
stormchaser24 24
Never give a kid you are babysitting a time out. They will get revenge in all sort of bad ways. FYL
LoganBurrito 6
You see, I'm afraid I must apologize, but I stopped feeling bad for you when I saw "time out."
ManInTheMachine 20
Okay you two, break it up. Before I put both of you in time-out; separately, of course. Wouldn't want you two--Drifter, stop that! Gosh, I better call Baustigt.
anoellem 1
One time when I was babysitting the kid thought it would be funny to light my pants on fire.
eardoc 3
I'm an audiologist, if your hearing doesn't return in 2-3 days on its own it's very important that you see an ear, nose, throat specialist because there's a chance that they can bring your hearing back. If you wait more than a couple of weeks than your chance of getting that hearing back are GREATLY reduced. Good luck!
zuzupetalsYO 11
Nanny McFee would not FML this. The kid would..
KILLERTOAST13 4
Sucks for u
TheDrifter 24
Yeah, time outs are good... I need a moment to plan anyhow, and find a good belt, maybe with a matching paddle.
tnttse 6
This means war. Retaliate and swoop down to his level. Its your only chance of survival.
rozsrredd 16
The phrase is "stoop to his level.". I'm pretty sure OP isn't a bird of prey.
almostalbino 10
OP's wearing a cape, it makes it more fun.
Roflsauruz 12
Take the air horn, and put it in the garbage with the kid watching. Then "take out the trash". Make sure to save the air horn and hide it for later, so the parents don't start bitching at you for "throwing out his toys". :)