Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML
Today, the neighbors' kid got a new airhorn. FML
Today, I was teaching my two year-old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML
Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML
Today, my boyfriend trapped me in a corner of our apartment and kept making sounds that he knows cause me to become violently angry (I have misophonia). He wouldn't stop, even though I was practically begging him to, and now he's mad that I freaked out and broke his nose to get away from him. FML
Today, I asked my son to repeat something he had said. He got right up in my face and screamed that it was time I got a "fucking hearing aid." His siblings agreed with him. My husband agreed so much, he won’t even punish him for yelling and swearing, because, “Honestly, we all wanted to scream it.” FML
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
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Top comments
me234 7
That sucks his parents should have to pay to get your ears checked
viper64 10
Stupid kids...
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Comments (172)
thatoneguy79 10
OI'm going to hazard a guess and say the air horn incident after the kid was released from time out, and he doesn't routinely walk around with a can of compressed air in him back pocket. It's possible that, of his parents own a boat, that is where he got his hands on it. I would not have been happy. Chances are one or more of the follow would have happened: Kid would have ended up with a face of air horn as well Kid would have ended up with a face full of my hand (self defense from the assault) Kid would have ended up on a chair in the linen closest for a rather long time Kid would have ended up with oven mitts taped to his hands to prevent him from accidentally hurting himself by acquiring other unsafe object There is absolutely no point in trying to raise a child if you are not going to discipline them. You are doing more harm than good; discipline teaches them heir actions have consequences; something they are going to have to learn later in life whether they want to or not.
thatoneguy79 10
Sorry for the typos; next time I'll try and keep it short enough that I can reach the edit button
NeedCheeringUp 10
I voted that your life sucks.... but that was really funny. And I hope you're okay.
Taymah49 7
Why didn't you take the horn from him & go back into time out?
Casalenuovo 0
I would have hot the air horn and done it right back to him
sleet7 4
Leave the medicine cabinet open.
jackeechan 10
*Insert witty ear pun here*
rubyliu8420 7
U should blast that little f***er back.
haveywavey9 4
what is with the foreign talk?
j3ebrules 13
Why in gods name does this child have an air horn???
katydid91 31
Might wanna get that checked out, just sayin'