Your husband is a real pussy.

I smell something fishy...oh wait, that's your husband.

Or HER pussy

Or your pussy

Do I look like a cat to you boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?

I LOVE that movie. Literally burst out laughing from reading your comment. Thank you for the laugh!

No problem. I enjoyed your profile. You must be dating the Dos Equis guy lol. You forgot "Cuba imports their cigars from me"

25: If you had LITERALLY burst out laughing you wouldn't have been alive to type that response. Look up the meaning of 'literally' before you misuse it. That literally makes me blow a gasket!

Psst....people can stop laughing and then send comments....

96, I'll just put it out there that she was using literally in reference to how she actually laughed out loud, not in reference to the bursting bit.

Meh, what can you do? Some guys are pussies.

I thumbed you down before I saw that you and #1 posted at the same time. My apologies.

At least he isn't licking himself yet

believe me, all boys who are new to puberty have tried and it makes me wonder just how many men would actually do this if they could...

If certain videos I've seen on the Internet are to be believed, then yes, it is possible.

Also, contortionists.

Well obviously it is possible for some men, just for a large majority of men it isn't. You either need to be a contortionist of some degree or have an extremely long penis to do so.

Good grief that seems like a whole lot of effort for what a hand can accomplish so much easier.

Or was he?...

That's going to be their foreplay!
OP: ooo baby what do you taste like?
Husband: Mmmmm... Tuna.

You must not be a good cook.. Or he's just a pussy

Or he's just a weirdo with a cat food fetish. Lol. He's done this more than once, to say the op's wife sucks at cooking is way too big of an assumption. Not enough info to say that.

Oops, I meant to say, you can't assume op is a bad cook***.

I knew someone who would eat those temptations cat treats. It apparently started as a joke but he thought they tasted good so he kept doing it every once in a while. Sometimes people just like weird things even if they have access to good food.

Meow mix meow mix please deliver

I read that in Dr. Evil's voice lol

I laughed so hard at this comment oh my god

Your husband is human with a cat trapped inside. its a male cat, so "nothing to worry".

No.

(29) I'm afraid so.

He made a reference to a messed up fml where a guy tells his gf that he's a woman trapped in a mans body, but the woman is lesbian so "our couple should be ok". I think it's a good reference

Umm no..

Meow that's not normal.

Pussy jokes already?! What a surprise...

well dog jokes wouldn't mean much here...

Horse jokes, maybe? So I came into a bar and there was a horse. Wait no. So I came into a horse and there was a bar...

Now that's a kitty situation.

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. But if this pun gets out of hand on FML I will hunt you down I will find you and I will kill you.

I think it is a good sardonic retort to the retards who keep using "that's a shitty situation" the moment anything fecal is mentioned in an FML as if it were the brightest and most original idea one could come up ... You should hunt them down for pain ...

I think my dad eats our dog food. I've never seen him but there is always a lot missing when I look.

fun fact, the can opener was not invented until decades after the can was invented.

10- Maybe your dog just eats a shit ton of food? 26 - Well yeah, I wouldn't expect it to be invented before the can.

You can also open cans a multitude of other ways, and depending on the contents, punching a good hole will suffice. I've gone camping and opened cans with a Swiss Army Knife.

Though can openers are being used less and less because more companies are switching to the pull-tab technology.

If he actually eats the dog food it could be PICA. PICA is a very serious mental disorder, in which non food items are consumed. It is a very difficult disorder to have, because it is often made fun of. The main the OP could deal with the situation is to remove said cat food from the house. My parents had to go without buying tinfoil as I have PICA and like to consume tinfoil flowers dirt and sand. Try looking into seeing a psychiatrist. There are methods to cope with it, but you need to be committed to learning. Have a nice day. :3

#67_You have a very good point. It didn't occur to Winky RN. OP should seriously find out WHY hubby is tossing back the kitty food. Could also be a vitamin/mineral deficiency.