Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML
Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML
Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
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Top comments
oh_merde 11
This could be a horror movie... Or a game. Angry, zombie birds.
shnaky_fml 0
I can't believe the bird didn't fly away :o
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Comments (208)
bdathorne 6
you HAD to mow over it a second time? I've seen people drop heavy rocks on them, but not mow over them
matrixx01001 4
What about all that chicken you eat? Your able to sleep then?
HereToDisturb 5
1: This bird was killed accidentally, and in no way shape or form is used to help anyone. A chicken on the other hand is killed in order to keep us alive, used as food to sustain ordinary human life. So suck it, vegan little wipper-snick. 2: She can't sleep because she caused the death of the poor little bird. The chicken is killed by someone completely different, so all we do is see it as food. 3: Just because you aren't buying the meat, people aren't stopping production. More and more animals will be killed to feed humans, and this shall happen for the entirety of human and animal coexistence. You're only hurting yourself. And E (yes, I know E means 5 and this is four): Why the Hell-Grand-Canyon can I type more in a comment than an FML? This is so bogus. Anyway, FYL OP I'm sorry for douche-bags like this^
DocBastard 40
HereToDisturb - Your username is strikingly accurate. Consider switching to decaf.
perdix 31
If you feel so bad, maybe you ought to go on Twitter and tweet about it. You want to know who's not tweeting anymore? The bird.
lexi365 20
Perdix, you always get me to laugh to your comments. :)
HereToDisturb 5
@#105 bdathorne: Innovation is the key to success.
emoshadow47 9
I love birds why would you do that. Well i guess i would of done the say thing in panic, if there eas no other way to help it
firefighterjohn 9
omg I can't stop laughing.
AwsumShyGuy 12
You did the right thing but "pieces of dead bird" just makes it sound like some bird horror movie.
vbmg152 19
Wtf?? You couldn't find a more humane way of putting it out of its misery! Thanks for the nightmares! Jerk!
greeneye_fml 12
Oh shut the **** up. What should he have done, crushed it with a rock or his shoe? Odds are he didn't have any morphine to inject on hand.
TheQueenLala 6
Wow **** u. Rot in hell u stupid piece of shit. That's horrible.
karen1991 15
YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON!!!! you killed tweety!