Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML
Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML
Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
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Top comments
oh_merde 11
This could be a horror movie... Or a game. Angry, zombie birds.
shnaky_fml 0
I can't believe the bird didn't fly away :o
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Comments (208)
datguy5 13
What happened to the deal? They're supposed to get out of the way, and we look the other way on the statues being pooped on!
Neex97 4
Sounds so wrong
riptor911 10
You are retarded for running it over a second time. There are better faster less messy options.
nattlecakes 19
What the hell kind of bird doesn't fly away when they see or hear a lawn mower!? Wtf.....
zoereevex 7
Hahahahahah
Lorean 6
Poor thing well at least u put it out of its misery I wouldn't been able to do it
wonderfool1990 2
WTF is wrong with u?!just pick it up and put it somewhere else!you murderer!
mmmhmm11268 4
Poor bird. •
PHL_fml 1
Anyone else think of Misery when the woman runs over the cop's head with the lawnmower? "Dirty Birdie!"
Krimzon 5
I am really really sorry. Thats a tad traumatising...