Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML
Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML
Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
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Top comments
oh_merde 11
This could be a horror movie... Or a game. Angry, zombie birds.
shnaky_fml 0
I can't believe the bird didn't fly away :o
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Comments (208)
Historylover 0
Angry Birds? Real life edition? lmao
brewmasterg 34
This comment leads me to think you've never played Angry Birds. Or seen anyone play it. Or even heard the theme song. You heard someone say it once and thought it sounded cool, I think.
TheJester12 15
That bird was bound to be eliminated by natural selection soon or later. And by natural selection I mean you and you and your oblivious self belting out one direction songs out while wearing noise cancellation headphones . AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES YO- * crunch* oh shit what was that ?!?!?
Meme1988 18
Poor bird :( Its usually the cats get killed on the road
emag_eht 18
In New York it's always the pigeons. It's always sad but you wonder why they dont just stay on the sidewalk. I wonder if the bird OP ran over was one of those finch-type birds. I mean the grass must have at least been a bit higher than your ankle to hide a bird as big as a pigeon.
meb9 4
Aww poor bird at least it's in heaven
MaxG123 8
ROFL!
RangerLacrosse26 4
Get over it
THE_A_TEEN 28
Why should he? What he has is a conscience and the ability to feel guilt/remorse. You sound so unremorseful.
Needafarm 22
My question to OP is if they were riding a mower or pushing one. If OP was riding one then i suppose they would be blind to what's on the ground and not really care what they mow over anyway. If they were pushing one then they need to look at what they are mowing so it doesn't end up being their pet they mow over next time.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
That's nastier than having shredded bunny bits strewn all over your middle school track. That's going to be a bitch to clean up. Remember to wipe the blood stains off your grass!
brewmasterg 34
Well it's a young bird that's been displaced from a nest, it would probably be scared shitless or just too dumb to move much. Also as OP was mowing the grass it could be assumed the grass was long enough for a small bird to be obscured. Or OP was distracted by something shiny and mutilated a deaf, fully grown swan that was looking in the other direction- we don't have all the information here.
brewmasterg 34
If it's*. Typed too fast.
RedPillSucks 33
Call Bird CSI to investigate what happened, or is this under the jurisdiction of Bird NCIS??