By Anonymous - 23/07/2012 08:08 - United States - Rock Springs

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 309
You deserved it 3 789

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Are you suppose to listen to the app for the whole 8 hours that you slept?


Marcella1016 31

Since your comment will be thumbed into oblivion anyway, I might as well say the totally wack thing that immediately popped into my head when I read the FML: Doesn't matter, (your parents) had sex?

MrKrustyKrab 0

Where did you put your phone? Your parents room? Or were they having sex next to you?

perdix 29

You are right and now you hear exactly how Mommy does it. She tells Daddy to grab the back of her head and then she gargles on it.

coughyochick 7

Why is she getting thumbed down?

Marcella1016 31

19 - She's getting thumbed down because the epic history of "FIRST!" comments have led to a culture on FML with very specific rules: 1. Do not write "FIRST" as your first comment. 2. Do not "waste" the first comment by writing 2 words like "that sucks" just to be first 3. Do not say "that sucks" or "sorry OP" anywhere. According to the comments of the FML masses, "It's FML of course it sucks!" 4. Do not comment on the first comment unless it is related to the comment itself. If you reply with an unrelated comment you are "thread jacking" and the mods will drag you down to the torture chamber. 5. Overused puns are overused. (See "Doesn't matter, had sex" or "That sucks" on a bj-related FML) While I disagree with most of these rules, I dare not defy the FML gods and their army of commenters. They will tear you limb from limb if you say 2 words, but give you 500 thumbs up if those same 2 words were uttered by DocBastard :)

perdix 29

#30. Good guidelines, but I once wrote "that sucks," but it was a vacuum-cleaner-related FML, so it was the "right" comment for that one.

RedPillSucks 31

Maybe #19 was asking why dad was using his "thumb down" technique to explore mom's new anal G spot.

Sorry perdix, but her rules still apply because your comment wasn't appropriate as it got moderated.

These people make no sense at all. Marc and perdix seem to be the only ones with comments that are comprehensible.

30's survival app for FML. Very accurate.

JocelynKaulitz 28

At least you don't snore…

Op must be one heavy sleeper. If the sex was picked up then it must have been loud I assume or not and just loud enough to be heard.

"Doesn't matter, had sex" isn't a pun, it's a meme.

MR KRABS (read in a sponge Bob voice) if your gonna talk like a sailor you're gonna work like a sailor. Any body... No, oh okay.

Elysian101 0

Are you suppose to listen to the app for the whole 8 hours that you slept?

Marcella1016 31

3 - I was wondering the same thing, since I've been told I snore too. But I'm assuming the phone is constantly recording but recording over itself every few seconds, and if it detects any noise it saves the recording and records a little longer. So basically all you'd have in the morning would be the times you snored. Or of course random sounds from your parents' room...

mduffy08 8

I thought it was "sleep cycle alarm". It records movement, not speed and can tell what sleep cycle you are in. It wakes you up when you are in the right cycle so you don't get that groggy feeling. I have no clue what app OP is talking about.

I have one like this, it records when there's noise. My blanket is sort of loud so when I turn over it records for A couple seconds or when I snore! It's actually pretty cool but not in the OPs case!

Marcella1016 31

48 - what's the app called? I'd like to try it

If the "snoring" lasted for the entire 8 hours his dad is a champ.

I found an app on the app store called "Dream Talk Recorder". It's free and says it only records when there is a noise and you can adjust the sensitivity so you don't get unwanted far away noises or normal noises that occur.

why not just use the recording app thats already on the phone?

The one I have for my iPhone is 'Smart Alarm' :)

I have an app that records you while you sleep but it only records the sounds you make and shows you what time you made that noise instead of having to listen to 8 hours of sleep

The phone(or iPod) has been diseased with the sounds of your parents. Burn it!

My parents would probably say that my snoring actually sounds like them having sex…

deepunder 17

At least you know it works...

"Hey, mom! I want an iPhone!" "No." *Plays recording* "...Honey, let's go get you a brand new iPhone!"

Why would she buy an iPhone? It's not like OP is blackmailing her mother.

That is true, but she has to make it up for Op for being scarred like that.

FinJage 18

At least you proved your friends wrong. Unless the sound of your parents having sex suppressed your snoring.

Hahaha that's kinda an awful thought to think about...

FinJage 18

I guess it's better not to think about it then and leave the snoring to be a mystery.

Or OP could ask his/her parents which night they plan to not have sex, so the app could get a clean read.

MeLuvBewbs 7

I would just tell my friends that I do snore. Better than telling them what you heard last night

Or tell them you don't snore and don't tell them what you heard.

corinna12124 0

I would rather tell them wht happened I wouldn't be able to keep tht in

coughyochick 7

How did he deserve it? Some people just...why?

Because some people just suck enough...

There's always going to be people who pick it no matter what

saderboi41 10

Trolls. There will always be trolling on the Internet.

Well, that sure is something that you will never forget.

olpally 32

Take the phone, put it on your driveway, and run over it multiple times with your car. Then burn it to ashes.