Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML
Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML
Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
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Top comments
oh_merde 11
This could be a horror movie... Or a game. Angry, zombie birds.
shnaky_fml 0
I can't believe the bird didn't fly away :o
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Comments (208)
myFMLname 8
At least it wasn't someone's pet bird and they witnessed you doing this (can anyone guess what FML I'm talking about?)
KitKat16 9
Yuck! It's your own fault for running over it a second time but the poor bird
Jamialia 5
This post is making want to cry. You're a ******* ****. Why not take it to the vet to be euthanized? I hope maggots eat your eye balls and your dick rots from aids you sick ****. I ******* want to slaughter you.
hateevryone 15
You should've said a prayer after you did that.
writergirl23 19
I'm eating here! Plus I'm pregnant!
patrickalamo 48
Pet cemetery
Benchyface 11
And then you probably proceeded to eat chicken for dinner. Carnivore logic! *Awaiting the raging thumbs down from ignorant people* ~
daltonromanowski 11
Humans aren't carnivores tho.
iHeartRKO 5
Is it just me, or are birds these days suicidal? I swear they always fly in my windshield.
BriZanna33 2
Why would you mow over twice? There were other ways to put the bird out of its' misery..
freakincool 4
That's freakin sick! FYL (vomits)