Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML
Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML
Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
oh_merde 11
This could be a horror movie... Or a game. Angry, zombie birds.
shnaky_fml 0
I can't believe the bird didn't fly away :o
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (208)
daps29 11
Su la for u And te bird
mightymart 5
À little harsh to mow it again .. Wtf
xgetxbentx 13
Well, you were right to put it out of its misery if it was sure to die, so don't feel bad about that, just remember to keep a sharp eye out next time. It is still baby animal season, gotta pay attention.
roseyposey86 3
I understand the first pass was an accident but if you had really wanted to be humane you could have gone about ending the poor bird's life in a more dignified manner.
mishkaroni 15
Agreed!
prettykitty82 4
Thats how I go through grass in Pokemon :D Jk, poor bird :c RIP
Thewoog34 0
Is it bad that I'm laughing?
MissLizWolf 8
Aww, I don't think "YDI". If it were me, I would've started panicking and running around like a headless chicken. At least you were "man" enough to kill it before it suffered more. I'm so sorry, it would be so traumatizing! :L
knoble09 2
I'm sorry, but this is the funniest shit I've ever read. I'm total animal person but oh my god what the ****?! But you did the right thing by not letting it suffer... Still funny as **** though.
kayellegee30 0
That's awful OP. These things do happen, but you had to put the bird out of the pain and suffering. Hope you can sleep. :)
AutumnTilly 5
Though it’s harsh, I respect what you did. It must have been so painful for it. It was an accident, so no one can be at blame. Even though it’s an accident, I feel for you when you feel so guilt ridden, that your sleep is interrupted. You did the right thing for it’s benefit though :)