Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML
Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML
Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
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Top comments
oh_merde 11
This could be a horror movie... Or a game. Angry, zombie birds.
shnaky_fml 0
I can't believe the bird didn't fly away :o
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Comments (208)
perdix 31
The first pass was just an accident, but the second pass made you a murderer. Sleep tight!
royalsheep 0
What, and you would have just left it there to slowly die rather than quickly putting it out of it's misery?
perdix 31
No, I'd hire people to mow my lawn for me, so I can stay inside and watch C-SPAN in my underwear, and not deal with death and murder in reality.
royalsheep 0
Lol, makes sense..
outoftown 27
#29, You have the stomach for a Senate subcommittee hearing, but not death and murder? You may be tougher than you think.
Lifeguardlarry 3
You gotta have eagle eyes, like me!
primadonnagirl 13
You lay your head on your pillow and hear the faint "tweet tweet" of the bird coming back to get you....
OhDearBetrayal 25
I sense a horror movie in the making.
DocBastard 40
You didn't even try to wing it and tweet its injuries? I may be crowing here, but running it over a second time was robin it of any chance of survival. You could have at least tried mouth-to-bill resuscitation!
russfml 31
Are you kidding!? I'm pretty sure the first pass of being run over by a lawn more is enough to say it's done for
falwoodaj 5
Fail
firemedic841 11
ACLS? Advanced Cardinal Life Support?
thrAsHeRr9081 16
49 - Please enlighten me as to how an Epi-pen and generic Valium would be useful in this situation...
skyeyez9 25
Was the bird so mangled the first time that it wouldn't survive? I don't think I could have mowed it a second time :(
andrewcollins 8
PETA should read this.
mrshutcherson123 3
Haha ik.
imavelociraptor 6
Why??? They kill all their animals anyway!
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I absolutely detest PETA -.-
JustKittyKat 24
My brother almost ran over a nest of baby rabbits one time... *shudder*
littlem91 29
Didn't see the "almost" the first time. Somehow, a litter of cute baby rabbits seems worse than a bird.
nevereyes 31
I laughed so hard when I read this. I love watching maggots wiggle around inside of dead birds. Also I'd give the dead pieces to my kittens to play with.
sammixowlface96 10
I think you need a time-out.
MsConfusedd 27
Good one, but cats only like to eat birds because they're fun to catch... When they're alive.
s0ulslack 20
You don't watch whats in front of the mower while mowing? I hope you don't let your kids outside while your doing lawn work. KEEP CLEAR, I'M GONNA MOW THE LAWN AND TXT 3 FRIENDS @ ONCE
lilfreckle7 7
it's a bird, stupid. if the grass was tall enough, it would've hidden the bird. think, for once in your life.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
128- Don't you think that harshness was a little uncalled for? No need to sling insults around.
miyaviichan 27
All he said was stupid...