Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!"...

By DrLight - 17/1/2015 01:59 - United States - Raleigh

Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!" FML

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Kids

DINOSAURS!!

Yappy neighborhood

Hello everyone!

By Face - 9/1/2010 10:12 - Australia

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

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By Stickysituation - 23/1/2013 18:44 - United States - Depew

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

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By thatsjustlovely - 1/1/2010 08:16 - United States

Today, it is New Year's Day. While all of my friends are out partying, I stayed home and mastered level 34 on FarmVille. FML

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By - 1/12/2019 14:00 - United States - Tallahassee

Loud and long

Today, I'm stuck with sleeping in the same room as my mother. The problem? Her snores are extremely loud and a full minute long. I'm not kidding, I timed it. FML

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By TheHezzer - 21/2/2012 19:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered the hard way that all the scare stories I'd heard about rats getting into pipes and finding their way into your toilet are, in fact, true. FML

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By handlin - 14/1/2010 06:45 - Mexico

Today, after 8 years, I confessed one of my best friends I've been in love with him since we were kiddies. His answer was "Don't worry, I won't stop talking to you." FML

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By truckstopworker - 27/4/2017 02:00

Today, while working at my truck stop, I helped a trucker check his tires. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, and we chatted for a bit. After he took off and I walked back inside, I went to clean the shower he was in before. Turns out he took a shit on the floor. His wife had been in there with him. FML

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By embarassed - 20/3/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML

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By quackers - 8/7/2016 07:00 - United States - Columbus

Today, I found out that my favorite pizza place will no longer deliver to my area after dark because they've been robbed too many times. FML

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By errints234234 - 13/5/2010 23:31 - United States

Today, I was reading a magazine while straightening my hair. I got really into this one article until suddenly a huge clump of hair fell on it. I looked up and realized I had burned through the layer of hair I was straightening, leaving me with one layer at ear length and the rest at bra length. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/9/2009 01:39 - United States

Today, after coming home from hanging out with a few friends, my mom told me that I shouldn't hang out with them any more. Why? Because "they are way hotter than I am and I'll never get a boyfriend if I'm always the ugly one in my group." FML

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By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 09:07 - Canada

Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/6/2012 17:41 - United States - Oregon City

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

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By Sam l. - 10/11/2012 06:51 - United States

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

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By DramaticSigh - 15/8/2011 05:00 - United States

Today, at work, a customer came in. Since I was behind the counter, I asked if she needed help with anything. I've worked there for five years, and I didn't recognize my own boss. FML

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By oink oink fuck off - 29/7/2012 18:49 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, my son got to my great grandfather's old stopwatch, which had been valued at a very high sum, and broke it by twisting the hands in reverse. He says he was trying to time travel. FML

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By sleepy - 23/5/2011 04:57 - United States

Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML

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By H05T1L3 - 4/6/2010 23:58 - United States

Today, I woke up at 10:30 feeling great and saying to myself, "Thank goodness it's the weekend!" I then realized it's Friday and I missed my final. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 03:59 - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML

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By Canadagirl - 24/8/2017 01:30

Today, my boyfriend of seven and a half years broke up with me. By text message. FML

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By sunshine - 29/6/2017 02:00

Today, I saw my uncle after six months. The first thing he says to me is, 'I didn't even recognize you! You've gained so much weight.' Gee thanks uncle. Just what I wanted to hear. FML

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By ScienceFail - 25/7/2010 19:31 - United States

Today, I tried to open the research paper I've been working on for the past month, only to discover that the entire file is permanently lost and can't be recovered. This is not the first time this has happened to this paper. FML

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By cookiecutter8 - 6/11/2015 17:15 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, a guy started complimenting me and calling me beautiful. Halfway through, he burst out laughing and said he couldn't do it. Who needs self confidence, anyway? FML

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By holy - 21/10/2009 21:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

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By Kat - 31/8/2012 01:08 - United States - Tiverton

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

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By alealovespurple - 16/8/2009 20:04 - Canada

Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/10/2015 02:47 - United States - Apollo

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

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By lauren555 - 27/3/2009 03:38 - United States

Today, after finishing a huge French essay, I realized my printer wasn't working. So, I emailed it to a guy in my class to print and then give to me. When I get to French, he said he had already turned his in early and never got my email. It turned out he used mine. I got an F on the essay. FML

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By hfs palm - 21/6/2015 21:37 - United States

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

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By thegoalie - 16/9/2019 04:00 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Yoga for Dummies

Today, I overheard this girl I don't really know say that she had cramps. Trying to be helpful, I turned round and told her she should stretch out where she had them. She then asked how the fuck she was supposed to stretch her ovaries. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/5/2014 19:23 - Canada - Charlottetown

Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML

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By unemployedaussie - 23/6/2016 12:35 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was fired because my boss found out I had been looking for a new job. Then, I got a call from my only job prospect, saying I was overqualified and too young to work there as a waitress. FML

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By Cslouth - 27/10/2012 04:04 - United States - Rochester

Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML

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By brando2k5 - 6/12/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, I got the official word my wife is pregnant. Her sister, who lives with us, is also pregnant. I'm stuck in an apartment with two women due in late 2012. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/9/2015 13:21 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, while eating at my college cafeteria, I started thinking about all the awful crap going on in my life right now, and I started sobbing. Some guy at another table started snickering at me, at which point the guy I like said, "Give her a break. If I was as fuck-ugly as her, I'd be crying too." FML

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By Anonymous - 22/3/2012 20:17 - United States - Fresno

Today, I twisted my ankle during a round of golf, after trying to do a fancy jumping high five. FML

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By meow - 14/1/2010 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/1/2011 21:56 - Isle of Man

Today, I went to the toilet during drama, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/6/2014 16:33 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/3/2013 07:18 - United States - American Canyon

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

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Top comments

By JuliaaNoelle | 26

#6175518 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:57

Well, their parenting was done half right. At least he knows who Chewbacca is!

By danceinconverse | 25

#6175509 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:54

Might be time to invest in a razor.

Comments

By lickastick | 27

#6175507 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:53

Time for a shave?

originaljosh | 11

#6175561 - Saturday 17 January 2015 19:34

No its time to punch that kid in his midget face for not minding his own business

Zelphoric | 25

#6175599 - Saturday 17 January 2015 20:20

"Who's scruffy looking??"

chabelo | 10

#6175636 - Saturday 17 January 2015 21:12

shave? nah, it's okay to look like a dog, right op?

originaljosh | 11

#6175692 - Saturday 17 January 2015 23:23

I guess no one recognized the Will Ferrell refrence that he said to justin bieber

RyWillieMitch | 16

#6176159 - Sunday 18 January 2015 12:52

#50 works better when you use quotations

By chocolatelvr | 5

#6175508 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:54

Embrace your new identity

MrConcise | 34

#6175606 - Saturday 17 January 2015 20:30

No way, he's already Dr. Light. That's way cooler than Chewbacca. The kid was just a little wily.

Just_A_Tree | 20

#6176001 - Sunday 18 January 2015 7:26

What kind of kid runs from Chewy? He's fucking awesome! He's a live teddy bear with a gun!

False_Stupidity | 41

#6176562 - Sunday 18 January 2015 21:28

Exactly what I was thinking #66.
Chewy is awesome.

By danceinconverse | 25

#6175509 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:54

Might be time to invest in a razor.

iLike2Teabag | 27

#6175515 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:56

Or time to go for an audition.

By Welshite | 39

#6175511 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:55

You'll make a killing at the new Star Wars movie premiere. Time to start practicing your auditions for your new career as alien protagonist.

By daydreamer244 | 13

#6175512 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:56

aarrrrggghhhhh!

By devildog562 | 33

#6175514 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:56

Embrace your wookie. Sorry op that is kind of a self esteem demoralizer.

By cbeigs | 5

#6175516 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:56

Nothing wrong with that

By wanted_2_want | 40

#6175517 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:57

Use the FORCE...

(Sorry I couldn't help it).

By JuliaaNoelle | 26

#6175518 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:57

Well, their parenting was done half right. At least he knows who Chewbacca is!

badluckalex | 23

#6175651 - Saturday 17 January 2015 21:53

the joke

your head

countryb_cth | 38

#6180113 - Thursday 22 January 2015 6:37

Yah but you said OP has prefect parenting. The kid isn't OP's.

By pjsr | 32

#6175520 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:58

You can't blame the kid for an honest reaction. This one's on you for excessive hair. YDI