Kids: Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!"...

By DrLight - United States - Raleigh

Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!" FML

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Kids

Season finale

Bird's eye view

Near the knuckle

By Anonymous - United States - Kingman

Today, I let out a huge fart during a job interview. I was the one conducting the interview. FML

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By tbw - United States

Today, I decided to get my ass in shape and went to the gym. I got motion-sickness on the elliptical. FML

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By ThisPerson - Canada

Today, my 53 year-old art teacher told me she's excited about going clubbing this weekend. I'm excited about watching a special on the History Channel. FML

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By Breezie - United States

Hi Zach!

Today, at work, a customer commented that I look like Zach Galifianakis. I'm a girl. FML

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By cauteriseme - United Kingdom

Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML

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By Windstar - Canada

Today, my daughter ran up to a librarian working in the kids section and screamed "MOMMY!" and hugged her. She looked at her and said "I'm not your mommy." My daughters reply: "I know. But you're better than mommy" FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML

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By nuerrotticc

Today, I had a panic attack at 2am because someone decided to throw a snowball at my window. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/4/2021 00:30

Landmine

Today, my sister told everyone she doesn't get mad at people anymore, and just accepts it. Today is also the day she folded laundry and threw my clothes around my room. Still not mad, just passive aggressive. FML

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By Interview tragedy - United States

Today, I went in for an interview at my dream job. When I walked in, I got a dirty look from the front desk secretary. Turns out, the guy interviewing me was from a dating website I'm on. I'd rejected him and told him to get a life. FML

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By imcold - United States

Today, a stranger was kind enough to plow my driveway during a blizzard. However, they were not kind enough to leave their number after plowing the front end of my car. FML

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By weaknesspersonified - Austria

Today, I felt sad, useless and like I could never achieve anything. To cheer myself up, I wanted to smell some essential orange oil. I couldn't open the bottle. FML

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By Mdrk783 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a co-worker who I really liked. One thing led to another and we ended up going to her house and hooked up. Once we'd finished, I noticed another co-workers ID on the floor by her bed. I asked her about it and she said he must have dropped it there last night. FML

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By Fmylife.25 - United States

Today, I got the haircut I've been wanting for ages. I then called my girlfriend of two years and asked what she would do if I got a haircut. She told me she would dump me and then invited me to her house for dinner. I'm scared to go. FML

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By Anza - United Kingdom

Today, my mum told me that my sister's little kiddie swing wouldn't hold my weight. I told her she was being stupid, and went on anyway. A broken ankle and two pins in my elbow later, I'm willing to accept this. FML

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By madd_dizzle - United States

Today, my crush finally let me drive his truck for the first time in a empty parking lot, after he told me he liked me. It was so dark that I ended up driving into and pole and totaled his car. Now he hates me. FML

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By myanmarkaviar - Norway - Fl?

Today, at work, I served a customer who looked so much like my grandma that I thought it actually was her. Then I remembered she died 6 months ago. I had to serve customers with a smile on my face while choking back tears for the rest of the day. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Astoria

Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML

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By fine - United States - Danvers

Today, after struggling for over a year with it, and now having it medically confirmed, I told my step-dad about my depression. He gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Toughen up, cunt." FML

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By PissedOff

Today, my husband sent me a short video of my snoring last night because I wanted to hear how bad I sound. The first few seconds went by OK, but for the rest of the clip I could barely hear anything else over the sound of my husband taking a long piss in our bathroom. FML

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By InAnAwkwardSituation - United States

Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML

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By Emma - United States

Today, I had to hide the entire drawer of kitchen knives under my bed just to keep my mother from stabbing her cheating boyfriend, and slashing his tires. This happens more often than I'd like to admit. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/11/2020 14:05 - United States

Moving day, grandma

Today, after my daughter fell in love with a city I didn't want to move to and I caved to make her happy, after a year of which she got engaged at the age of 18 and moved with her fiancé back to his hometown not far from where we moved from, she called to tell me she's pregnant and my first grandchild will be hundreds of miles away. FML

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By Username - France

Today, after telling me his other girlfriend is pregnant, my boyfriend said we should stay together so I could help out with the baby. FML

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By Nicole - United States

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

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By ladylol - United Kingdom - Towcester

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

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By Kathleen Verhaegen - 30/4/2020 20:00

Lava lamp

Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML

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By jasonvanr - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, a woman kindly asked if she might take a photo of her son in our cowboy boots. Thinking it couldn't do much harm, I agreed. Ten minutes later there was a butt naked three year-old and his entire family taking pictures in my shoe store. My manager wasn't impressed. FML

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By Username

Today, my boyfriend punched a hole in a door. This is on top of the broken handle, cracked sink top, dented fridge, and other holes in the wall he has also made. We are 4 months into our year lease. I don't think we are getting our $720 deposit back. FML

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By nk - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

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By TacoMan32 - Canada

Today, after months of unemployment, I finally started at a new job. The building burnt down on my very first shift. FML

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By jmove - United States

One Word: Diabeetus

Today, I carhopped some food, enough to feed 6 people, out to this beat-up car. Inside were two huge ladies, who probably hadn't showered for a few days, sweating away from the hot weather. As I skated to the door, she said, "Hang on a moment," as she gave herself an insulin shot. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my brother has two broken arms and needs help wiping his own ass. Bonus, he has bad diarrhoea from the food poisoning he got from the shrimp he made me hand-feed him yesterday. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/2/2021 01:58 - Australia

Teamwork works

Today, I had a huge amount of work to get through. Two colleagues offered to help, because one had nothing else to do, and the other couldn't work until I was done. My boss got really pissed at me for "making" them do my job and wasting their time. FML

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By Braced - United States

Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML

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By aoliver03

Today, I spilled my guts out to my fiancé about some insecurities I've been having. I then turned to look at him through tears at his expressionless face as he texted someone. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a call from an angry parent telling me that I'm teaching her son and the other children in the class "wrong philosophies". This was all because I explained to the class that Michigan is divided into two parts. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Exeter

Today, my mom was "that" customer at the local drive-thru. She slipped into attention whore mode and bitched the guy out for not giving us extra fries. He said she didn't ask for any, which was true. Instead of apologizing, she swore at him and floored the gas, sending our drinks spilling all over me. FML

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By Sorry Not Sorry

Today, my boss bitched me out for a customer complaint. The complaint was me not laughing at the customer's joke of me asking for his ID and him saying no. I'm sorry, I've been getting this joke a least twice a day since I started working here two years ago. FML

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Top comments

By JuliaaNoelle | 26

#6175518 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:57

Well, their parenting was done half right. At least he knows who Chewbacca is!

By danceinconverse | 25

#6175509 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:54

Might be time to invest in a razor.

COMMENTS

By lickastick | 27

#6175507 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:53

Time for a shave?

originaljosh | 11

#6175561 - Saturday 17 January 2015 19:34

No its time to punch that kid in his midget face for not minding his own business

Zelphoric | 25

#6175599 - Saturday 17 January 2015 20:20

"Who's scruffy looking??"

chabelo | 10

#6175636 - Saturday 17 January 2015 21:12

shave? nah, it's okay to look like a dog, right op?

originaljosh | 11

#6175692 - Saturday 17 January 2015 23:23

I guess no one recognized the Will Ferrell refrence that he said to justin bieber

RyWillieMitch | 16

#6176159 - Sunday 18 January 2015 12:52

#50 works better when you use quotations

By chocolatelvr | 5

#6175508 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:54

Embrace your new identity

MrConcise | 34

#6175606 - Saturday 17 January 2015 20:30

No way, he's already Dr. Light. That's way cooler than Chewbacca. The kid was just a little wily.

Just_A_Tree | 20

#6176001 - Sunday 18 January 2015 7:26

What kind of kid runs from Chewy? He's fucking awesome! He's a live teddy bear with a gun!

False_Stupidity | 41

#6176562 - Sunday 18 January 2015 21:28

Exactly what I was thinking #66.
Chewy is awesome.

By danceinconverse | 25

#6175509 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:54

Might be time to invest in a razor.

iLike2Teabag | 27

#6175515 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:56

Or time to go for an audition.

By Welshite | 39

#6175511 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:55

You'll make a killing at the new Star Wars movie premiere. Time to start practicing your auditions for your new career as alien protagonist.

By daydreamer244 | 13

#6175512 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:56

aarrrrggghhhhh!

By devildog562 | 33

#6175514 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:56

Embrace your wookie. Sorry op that is kind of a self esteem demoralizer.

By cbeigs | 5

#6175516 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:56

Nothing wrong with that

By wanted_2_want | 40

#6175517 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:57

Use the FORCE...

(Sorry I couldn't help it).

By JuliaaNoelle | 26

#6175518 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:57

Well, their parenting was done half right. At least he knows who Chewbacca is!

badluckalex | 23

#6175651 - Saturday 17 January 2015 21:53

the joke

your head

countryb_cth | 38

#6180113 - Thursday 22 January 2015 6:37

Yah but you said OP has prefect parenting. The kid isn't OP's.

By pjsr | 32

#6175520 - Saturday 17 January 2015 18:58

You can't blame the kid for an honest reaction. This one's on you for excessive hair. YDI