By plantfood - 06/08/2011 06:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 239
You deserved it 9 094

plantfood tells us more.

plantfood 4

Deep conversation for FML.

Top comments

AgentSmith79 9

I've never heard of a dirty circumcision...

FMLandurstoo 9

To make him happy just say "Damn!"


Wa it small? Was it deformed? OP is leaving us hanging

yamatelle 19

Hey.... At least he didn't have gum stuck in his pubes...

Be happy it's clean, there's less of a chance of getting infected.

enonymous 8

I know I performed the circumcision... Talk about one proud and happy doctor

Hopefully OP didn't just leave her b/f hanging and was able to circumvent this distraction and get down to business...

TheHoboWerewolf 0

Aw shit! I see what ya did the 8! ;)

konot9 1

I hope your nasty ****** is circumcised, too.

i am too much of a boss to have a "doctor" do my circumcision i did it my self and ladies love it.

nah dude it was probably DocBastard circumcisions sound like his kind of thing

duckman9 55

at least you didn't say: where is it? or: that's all?

I love when people say it helps with std's and uti's - science is clear that good hygiene works better. And I doubt when a mother is telling the doc to chop it's less for when he's 'banging' ladies indiscriminately and more because he might see dad's is different. Health benefits - lol!

Pixxio_O 11

Be thankful it didn't turn out to be a ******

a_nutritionist 10

@31 neither of those is true. circumcision does not mean someone is cleaner, thats why we shower. there is no conclusive evidence to show it reduces sti's. you know what does? careful screening of partners.

kaylanicole1695 12

it's when they cut the foreskin off of the penis

MagicGiraffe 12

Nothing wrong with a finely chiseled penis.

AgentSmith79 9

I've never heard of a dirty circumcision...

well theres video out now that's titled "girl gives guy a dirty circumcision", you should check it out.

49- your pic just describes why I have a burn on the back of my leg.. Lol

hahaha sorry to hear that, I've burned myself a couple times too

AgentSmith79 9

Yeah gotta be careful around those pipes :) My new bike has an under-seat exhaust, so burning a leg is no longer an issue ;)

nice bro I need to get that for my girlfriend's bike haha

Shes not your girlfriend... She shows up on google images when you type 'hot girl dirt bike' HA..

AgentSmith79 9

yea she's on uncoached, topspeed, and a couple other blogs, she's a model dude lol I know she pops up on google

AgentSmith79 9

Love it when people recycle comments.

ok fine she's not real, I'm actually not real and pretty much everything about this profile is not real... I just love ****** with people because I'm good at it

iloveeyouuxD 9

#77 obviously your not good at it, considering they figured it out

Blade89 0

78, pretty sure what 77 said was sarcasm. lolol.

91- seeing as 77 has now deleted his picture and his profile information, I would say his comment was legit

Nice to know what you do in your spare time, 49.

dang jay KaySL just got on your @$$. nice though. I actually believed you.

Kay good job figuring it out cause it was pretty simple. and no in my spare time I don't even use my iPod, I'm just on this when I get bored at work and decided it'd be fun to **** around.

I can't tell if its more pathetic to lie about having a hot girlfriend on FML comments, or to fold and admit you were lying so easily. F your life, jayalexander

sccrismyantidrg 4

Wow did Jay really deserve that? It's not even a big deal; Who goes out of their way to embarrass someone like that? Not a very nice thing to do...

And who goes out of their way to search all over the web for the picture of his "girlfriend" I Dont think it's Jay that has to much time on their hands!!!

hahaha idc, and it didn't take long either, a friends gave me an idea and I found a picture off google images and just posted it. so no my life doesn't need to be ******, I'm just having fun

theres absolutely nothing more safisfying than crushing a bad troll

sccrismyantidrg 4

So do the mods just delete comments that disagree with what they say or did mine just mysteriously disappear? Do they also make it a habit to go out of their way to embarrass people? Just wondering.

a_nutritionist 10

...youd expect to have heard about it? a botched circumcision is not usually going to make the news headlines...

VickieJoe 3

pretty sure he was being sarcastic..,?

a_nutritionist 10

*facepalm* indeed. missed it, my bad.

FMLandurstoo 9

To make him happy just say "Damn!"

It's amazing how fragile the male ego can be

But no as amazing as how female emotions are fragile.

I am a female (the last time I checked) and my emotions are not fragile

Check again, I think you are male. Sorry for the spelling mistake btw. Forgot the 't' appearently. Oh well, I'm not going to cry for it. ;-)

The penis is a man's life. Take it away, and we're nothing. :O

You should have said it looked like a sausage. That's what I said even under the utter awkardness and newness of seeing my boyfriends for the first time. Make the man proud :D

All I ever got was "it looks like an alien!" to be fair though it was the first one she ever saw


dude your penis looks like an alien!

Link5794 18

She should have said "Don't move, theres a snake on your crotch!"

If your emotions aren't fragile, why are you so offended? Well done; how does it feel to embarrass your entire gender? I don't want to be a woman anymore! Lol

At least it WAS circumcised...

What kind of BS is that? I'm not circumcised and it's way better, my girl thinks the same way. You're probably from America. Here, in the EU, we don't have to kind of BS. :)

yeah, circumcision is a pointless mutilation that makes lube necessary. doesn't even look better, unless you've been trained to prefer mutilated dicks.

13, my boyfriend wasn't circumcised before, and a zipper on his pants changed that. Just be careful zipping your pants up. :)

I've been trained to prefer mutilated dicks

well i dated a guy in England and he was circumszied.

MiniNyn 5

I'm American and my bf isn't circumcised. I was a little put off about it at first as I'd never been with a guy who wasn't cut... but it really is waaay better :D (even though I still think it looks a little weird, lol)

sourgirl101 28

Okay, I'm a little concerned what exactly 20 is using for lube. Lol In American, it is now becoming very common to NOT circumcise your boys. When my son was born, I had countless nurses trying to convince me not to have it done. I only did it because my husband had it done at the age 3 and still remembers the ordeal. But I now think it's not necessary. The world's attitude seems to be changing, just like people's feelings towards tattoos, piercing, gages etc...(:

softball1432 0

then maybe you should keep your BS about our country to yourself then.. we could stereotype y'all also..

lakeybalboa 0

Lol americans are jews i guess

Why do uncircumcised guys always say that circumcised guys need lube?? It's not always true. Both types can need lube. You can also have a tight or loose circumcision (skin is taught or moves as in uncircumcised penises).

lakeybalboa 0

Sick ***** cutting off baby dicks

Androidz 0

62 that's not what a circumcision is. it's cutting off the fore skin on a penis.

MasterShake1100 0

I'm not circumcised . I'm not saying it's the best penis in the world, to be circumcised, it shouldn't matter to girls, they should be proud we have dicks to give them unless they would all be lesbians and we would all be chronic masturbators, or gay. So thanks.

ConnorBrown36 5

since when is a circumcision bad?

SteelCladAngel 0

....i don't care either way as long as the guy performs good hygiene.

justanotherbird 19

I don't think it should matter either way, a penis is still a penis after all. Whatever the guy wants. Although I am curious about uncircumcised...I've never seen one outside the internet!

And in bed it's all the same too me as well. I've had both, and in the middle of sex, you can't tell the difference on whats inside you. The performance is all the truly matters.

plantfood 4

I knew this would que an onslaught of uncircumcised men talking about how great turtle necks are on their dick.

My boyfriend is uncircumsised, I think circumsised penis' look weird haha. But I guess that's cause it's what i'm used to :) His never smells, it's always clean. So people who say that uncircumsised penises smell, that must just be because the guys you've seen don't have good hygene!

At least his cut wasn't all messed up like he got snipped with a rusty scissor.

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

Or those fun scissors that do waves or whatever on paper lol