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FML : Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML
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Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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Hopefully OP didn't just leave her b/f hanging and was able to circumvent this distraction and get down to business...

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I love when people say it helps with std's and uti's - science is clear that good hygiene works better. And I doubt when a mother is telling the doc to chop it's less for when he's 'banging' ladies indiscriminately and more because he might see dad's is different. Health benefits - lol!

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@31 neither of those is true. circumcision does not mean someone is cleaner, thats why we shower. there is no conclusive evidence to show it reduces sti's. you know what does? careful screening of partners.

By  itzia

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Yeah gotta be careful around those pipes :) My new bike has an under-seat exhaust, so burning a leg is no longer an issue ;)

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jayalexander: So let me get this straight. Not only does girlfriend just so happen to be a random web model whose resized pic you're using can be found on dozens of websites - and those are just the ones I found - but the pic you use of her is one of her modelling ones, and not one of you two, or one of her that wouldn't be found on all these sites? Yeah, okay then, whatever you say.

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Oh, the good old "I was just trolling" excuse. That's about as believable as your fake girlfriend was, i.e. not very.

Reply

Kay good job figuring it out cause it was pretty simple. and no in my spare time I don't even use my iPod, I'm just on this when I get bored at work and decided it'd be fun to fuck around.

Reply

I can't tell if its more pathetic to lie about having a hot girlfriend on FML comments, or to fold and admit you were lying so easily. F your life, jayalexander

Reply

Wow did Jay really deserve that? It's not even a big deal; Who goes out of their way to embarrass someone like that? Not a very nice thing to do...

Reply

And who goes out of their way to search all over the web for the picture of his "girlfriend" I Dont think it's Jay that has to much time on their hands!!!

Reply

hahaha idc, and it didn't take long either, a friends gave me an idea and I found a picture off google images and just posted it. so no my life doesn't need to be fucked, I'm just having fun

Reply

So do the mods just delete comments that disagree with what they say or did mine just mysteriously disappear? Do they also make it a habit to go out of their way to embarrass people? Just wondering.

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Check again, I think you are male. Sorry for the spelling mistake btw. Forgot the 't' appearently. Oh well, I'm not going to cry for it. ;-)

Reply

You should have said it looked like a sausage. That's what I said even under the utter awkardness and newness of seeing my boyfriends for the first time. Make the man proud :D

Reply

If your emotions aren't fragile, why are you so offended? Well done; how does it feel to embarrass your entire gender? I don't want to be a woman anymore! Lol

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13, my boyfriend wasn't circumcised before, and a zipper on his pants changed that. Just be careful zipping your pants up. :)

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Okay, I'm a little concerned what exactly 20 is using for lube. Lol In American, it is now becoming very common to NOT circumcise your boys. When my son was born, I had countless nurses trying to convince me not to have it done. I only did it because my husband had it done at the age 3 and still remembers the ordeal. But I now think it's not necessary. The world's attitude seems to be changing, just like people's feelings towards tattoos, piercing, gages etc...(:

Reply

Why do uncircumcised guys always say that circumcised guys need lube?? It's not always true. Both types can need lube. You can also have a tight or loose circumcision (skin is taught or moves as in uncircumcised penises).

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I'm not circumcised . I'm not saying it's the best penis in the world, to be circumcised, it shouldn't matter to girls, they should be proud we have dicks to give them unless they would all be lesbians and we would all be chronic masturbators, or gay. So thanks.

Reply

I don't think it should matter either way, a penis is still a penis after all. Whatever the guy wants. Although I am curious about uncircumcised...I've never seen one outside the internet!

Reply

And in bed it's all the same too me as well. I've had both, and in the middle of sex, you can't tell the difference on whats inside you. The performance is all the truly matters.

Reply

I knew this would que an onslaught of uncircumcised men talking about how great turtle necks are on their dick.

Reply

My boyfriend is uncircumsised, I think circumsised penis' look weird haha. But I guess that's cause it's what i'm used to :) His never smells, it's always clean. So people who say that uncircumsised penises smell, that must just be because the guys you've seen don't have good hygene!

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132.782020075744Twig_Template->display( ).../5017b84a2ed59b7d882934e977d4a6226158c3e925c5abdd2c51de486dfe9180.php:33
142.782020076440Twig_Template->displayWithErrorHandling( ).../Template.php:364
152.782020076440__TwigTemplate_62adbafd0d82f9ee2653d05c8825bef305bca81011c72c831f3ac2aff03278aa->doDisplay( ).../Template.php:396
162.830620316456Twig_Template->displayBlock( ).../88272b73979a3744212f9fd60af3354062e36638d464f277b08ea7afb6a0ee00.php:328
172.830620316456__TwigTemplate_9d4e571930792e016ac3d45acbaf23ab4800e3f63ac69940544f5767a7047e86->block_content( ).../Template.php:203
183.362720806040twig_include( ).../5017b84a2ed59b7d882934e977d4a6226158c3e925c5abdd2c51de486dfe9180.php:749
193.362820809784Twig_Template->render( ).../Core.php:1395
203.362820826248Twig_Template->display( ).../Template.php:375
213.362820826304Twig_Template->displayWithErrorHandling( ).../Template.php:364
223.362820826304__TwigTemplate_021e2dc15e8278a207f6f74d4702c6815973c54981c6bbc543e5c2ce92c1cd10->doDisplay( ).../Template.php:396
233.439920859712twig_include( ).../06abaa79f3118482d6ef427411340f7e6af6c311ce86da27e605bf51057d0b7f.php:154
243.440020863440Twig_Template->render( ).../Core.php:1395
253.440020879904Twig_Template->display( ).../Template.php:375
263.440020879960Twig_Template->displayWithErrorHandling( ).../Template.php:364
273.440020879960__TwigTemplate_115885db683883be1d6a478e1a860cfc4f517482b0356ae8e073ed0639527fd8->doDisplay( ).../Template.php:396
283.441220881032Twig_Template->getAttribute( ).../572684d0d4cf6aa233e52fe4efe3c3bb1a0c4156f9e931256c1e59c5ea441b71.php:50
293.441220881072ArticleCMS\DAO\ArticleDAO->getPhotoList( ).../Template.php:613
303.548720916984ArticleCMS\DAO\ArticleDAO->hydrateImages( ).../ArticleDAO.php:1102
313.551920939960ArticleCMS\DAO\ArtMetaDAO->getArticleMetas( ).../ArticleDAO.php:720
323.552220942960Doctrine\DBAL\Connection->executeCacheQuery( ).../ArtMetaDAO.php:94
333.553220943440array_key_exists ( ).../Connection.php:874

( ! ) Warning: Illegal string offset 'SELECT m.*, am.usageId AS `usage`, LOWER(mu.name) AS usageName FROM `art_meta` am RIGHT JOIN `image` m ON m.id = am.metaId LEFT JOIN `meta_usage` mu ON mu.id = am.usageId WHERE am.articleId = :article AND am.classId = :class ORDER BY am.position-a:3:{s:7:"article";i:107885;s:5:"class";i:2;s:6:"usages";N;}-a:3:{s:7:"article";i:1;s:5:"class";i:1;s:6:"usages";i:101;}' in /mnt/www/reboot/vendor/doctrine/dbal/lib/Doctrine/DBAL/Cache/ResultCacheStatement.php on line 112
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0000354128{main}( ).../index.php:0
20.01731957632Silex\Application->run( ).../index.php:6
30.01762048064Silex\Application->handle( ).../Application.php:563
40.02482528240Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handle( ).../Application.php:586
50.02482528656Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handleRaw( ).../HttpKernel.php:64
60.02932775048call_user_func_array:{/mnt/www/reboot/vendor/symfony/http-kernel/HttpKernel.php:144} ( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
70.02932775488ArticleCMS\Controller\HomeController->articleslugAction( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
82.781320037040Twig_Environment->render( ).../HomeController.php:489
92.781920056688Twig_Template->render( ).../Environment.php:357
102.781920073280Twig_Template->display( ).../Template.php:375
112.782020075048Twig_Template->displayWithErrorHandling( ).../Template.php:364
122.782020075048__TwigTemplate_9d4e571930792e016ac3d45acbaf23ab4800e3f63ac69940544f5767a7047e86->doDisplay( ).../Template.php:396
132.782020075744Twig_Template->display( ).../5017b84a2ed59b7d882934e977d4a6226158c3e925c5abdd2c51de486dfe9180.php:33
142.782020076440Twig_Template->displayWithErrorHandling( ).../Template.php:364
152.782020076440__TwigTemplate_62adbafd0d82f9ee2653d05c8825bef305bca81011c72c831f3ac2aff03278aa->doDisplay( ).../Template.php:396
162.830620316456Twig_Template->displayBlock( ).../88272b73979a3744212f9fd60af3354062e36638d464f277b08ea7afb6a0ee00.php:328
172.830620316456__TwigTemplate_9d4e571930792e016ac3d45acbaf23ab4800e3f63ac69940544f5767a7047e86->block_content( ).../Template.php:203
183.362720806040twig_include( ).../5017b84a2ed59b7d882934e977d4a6226158c3e925c5abdd2c51de486dfe9180.php:749
193.362820809784Twig_Template->render( ).../Core.php:1395
203.362820826248Twig_Template->display( ).../Template.php:375
213.362820826304Twig_Template->displayWithErrorHandling( ).../Template.php:364
223.362820826304__TwigTemplate_021e2dc15e8278a207f6f74d4702c6815973c54981c6bbc543e5c2ce92c1cd10->doDisplay( ).../Template.php:396
233.439920859712twig_include( ).../06abaa79f3118482d6ef427411340f7e6af6c311ce86da27e605bf51057d0b7f.php:154
243.440020863440Twig_Template->render( ).../Core.php:1395
253.440020879904Twig_Template->display( ).../Template.php:375
263.440020879960Twig_Template->displayWithErrorHandling( ).../Template.php:364
273.440020879960__TwigTemplate_115885db683883be1d6a478e1a860cfc4f517482b0356ae8e073ed0639527fd8->doDisplay( ).../Template.php:396
283.441220881032Twig_Template->getAttribute( ).../572684d0d4cf6aa233e52fe4efe3c3bb1a0c4156f9e931256c1e59c5ea441b71.php:50
293.441220881072ArticleCMS\DAO\ArticleDAO->getPhotoList( ).../Template.php:613
303.548720916984ArticleCMS\DAO\ArticleDAO->hydrateImages( ).../ArticleDAO.php:1102
313.551920939960ArticleCMS\DAO\ArtMetaDAO->getArticleMetas( ).../ArticleDAO.php:720
323.553920990176Doctrine\DBAL\Cache\ResultCacheStatement->closeCursor( ).../ArtMetaDAO.php:97