Why were you on your phone?

"Being driven". Not "driving".

I know, but youd think that on your wedding day you would be thinking of other things then facebook.

Welcome to the current generation I guess!

In this day and age, nothing is official until it's on Facebook.

1) Taking a shot in the dark here, but I'm guess Mrs. Poor-Word-Choice was checking her Facebook page. She may have even been updating her relationship status to Married. Just a uneducated guess though.

Sorry but he doesn't sound very dreamy.

Can u not go a few hours without checking ur Facebook constantly it's rediculous.. Especially on ur wedding day YDI

Who doesn't check their Facebook at least once a day? When there's nothing else to do in the damn car, why wouldn't you?

Ok so if this happens to you we will tell you what you just said asshole at. 75

amandajlucas2015, where exactly does it say OP checks her Facebook constantly? Next time, don't jump to conclusions, and use better grammar. Idiot...

I can't wait for the day when some hacker destroys facebook....

How about just go after Zuckerberg and his cronies and just end it at their headquarters?

52 "Just a uneducated guess"was that a pun or just being dumb?

123) The young Korean boy I had type this out for me during his "break" from making sweaters in a sweat shop apparently overlooked the finer points of the English language, which he is trying to learn but so far has only master "pullover" and "get back to work!" I promise I will work with him to understand the difference between a pun and being dumb.

When I get married in 3 weeks, I'll take a moment to change my relationship status from "engaged" to "married". Nothing wrong with that. Well, unless you're trying to do that whilst you say your vows or when you sign the register, then maybe you have a problem...

You know you're a red neck when...

149, when what.

Why would he do that if he knows you are gonna see it?

dump his ass

I think this is quite humorous, he obviously said it like that for a laugh and some 'likes'. I'm just surprised, that on the way to their reception they were both on their phones, isn't that meant to be part where they're hugging and kissing and stuff? (I know it doesn't say they were together but I assume they wouldn't be split up just after the ceremony!) If I ever get married my phone is only coming out in an emergency, I'll change Facebook (if it's still around) when the day is over.

Why is the obvious of this new husband being a complete douchebag being ignored to point out that it was basically wrong that she found out?

I would have asked him if he's ever heard of a sexless honey moon.

Comment moderated or buried due to negative votes. Show the comment

Wow, this is twice in one day that somebody has suggested that an OP should dump their significant other. If they actually follow our advice and this keeps up, we're going to a lot of single, bitter old people in the future. Isn't that a wonderful thought?

Maybe our suggestions are the reason the divorce rate is so high.

Here's the reason that half the marriages these days end in divorce. It's called a joke, look it up.

I feel like I have read another FML just like this. I think I'm going a little crazy LOL.

This FML is a perfect example of a guy joke.

Fuck it, I'd probably dump him for not saying "the bitch and I". Rhyme is not an excuse for atrocious grammar.

How did you not know when you married him? Better go check to see if he was joking, because this could potentially prove how very wrong you were...

noonelovesyou- Just because no one loves YOU doesn't mean OP's husband doesn't love her. God forbid he made a joke on Facebook and OP is unable to dislodge the stick up her ass.

Well 3, i challenge you to come up with a marriage status that rhymes and involves the word "hitched". Poop guy probably spent forever trying to make that status.

Still, calling his wife a bitch isn't a good way to start a marriage

Happiest day of my life Bridget is now officially my wife ***Who wants to be called a bitch? Especially on their wedding day by their husband. Yes, it probably was a joke but a rude one, at that!

I concur with 45. It was poetic, though somewhat pathetic, so give him some credit and, OP, don't sweat it.

Well he's apparently not the man of your dreams

He WAS until that statuS

I'm sure he meant "bitch" in the rapper style meaning of the word (i.e. an attractive woman). It was poorly executed & shocking, I'm sure - but not meant to be mean. Hope OP isn't mad on their wedding night

Doesn't matter got hitched.

he probably should have used 'my' bitch, but still, I really wouldn't be offended, it's not like he meant it otherwise the ceremony wouldn't have happened and you wouldn't even know about the status because he would have hidden it from you!

Congratulations!

Your profile picture is soo stupid.

Judge-y

Your one to talk, Ewok.

70, that picture is of one of the best youtubers out there. I think she's in the top 5 most subscribed.

Jenna Marbles..! Nuff said.

Yea right, have u seen urs??

It's Jenna Marbles!!!!

I knew she looked familiar :D thank you. I was having one of those annoying "I've seen her before, but where...?" moments.

70- shut up! Jenna Marbles is amazing!

I wish you were the real Jenna Marbles... *w*

Really

94 - most subscribed and best are not the same thing. "Best" is almost always a matter of opinion, most subscribed is an observable fact. And to be honest, she isn't even very funny.

And your the one to talk about someones picture.

Does your username have anything to do with Charlie McDonnell?

JENNA MARBELS

166 - I wish I was the real Jenna Marbles too.

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry I didn't mean to report your comment

He's clearly joking lol. Personally I find it funny!

That could have been considered "funny" or "witty" if they were several years into their marriage, but they're newly weds. He shouldn't be saying that about his new wife, especially on the internet.

What?! They could have been together for years anyway, all they did was sign a piece of paper. I think the best time to make a status like that is when the girl is too happy to care, not several years later when you probably hate each other! :P

^ Or early enough for her to end things before she becomes even more attached (and no, I'm not suggesting OP divorce her husband because of that status).

Indeed, but what I think a lot of people need to realise is that FML's aren't all exactly "real". This may have happened, however it is likely OP wasn't offended at all, but later realized it was FML worthy. I think if her husband was usually very nice, and then as soon as they are married he changed, then that is definitely F OP's life.

How about not taking things that personally he obviously thought it was a clever rhyme!

^ If it was a clever rhyme, OP obviously wouldn't have submitted it as an FML.

6- That's exactly how I see it. If the guy really meant it he wouldn't post it as a status.

140- exactly. I feel like I know the type of guy that would post that. And he would never in a million years mean it!

119- you're too cynical. OP was probably like "sweet! Maybe this'll finally get me an FML published!"

119, has it not occurred to you that some people make the fmls because at the time it was a fml moment? I'm sure op laughed it off straight after but it sounded good for an fml so she wrote it?

Wow he's rude slap that dude, for better or worse seems like a curse... Don't it ;)

Eminem lyrics don't count.

You're the reason men hit women.

^ your username suits you. What kind of fucking stupid comment is that?

Obvious Internet no one appreciates anything clever

Haha

Whats wrong with you? My god, lighten upp

You should probably give it a second thought before going on your honeymoon

Seriously guys? If the man you have just agreed to share the rest of your life with goes out and call you a bitch for everyone too see, is'nt that the rigth time to sit down and think things through before going further with the marriage?

"for the rest of your life", oh boy you have no idea how long the average marriage holds

82 ~ Some people stay married to their spouse their entire life.. Shocking isn't it?

Its a joke if he didnt like you he wouldnt have married you, CONGRATS though!

And Facebook still doesn't have a dislike button, it's crucial in times like these.