Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML
Today, I found out that my husband proposed to his girlfriend, and that her mom had posted it on Facebook. FML
Today, I married the love of my life, which was meant to stay secret until we can afford a ceremony. I opened Facebook to see that my hubby’s mom made a post about it, called me her new daughter-in-law, and tagged me. All 3 things we specifically asked her not to do. FML
Today, my husband who asked for a divorce four days ago announced his engagement on Facebook. His new woman's profile picture is my engagement ring. FML
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, I saw a facebook status that said, 'Wedding today. Ugly people belong together.' I'm getting married today. FML
Today, I married the beautiful girl I’ve been in love with since we were both 6 years old. By married, I mean I performed the marriage ceremony as the vicar and watched her smile and kiss her arsehole boyfriend, now husband, right in front of me. FML
Today, I married my best friend in the whole world at a small romantic venue. By that I mean I married my actual best mate while completely hammered at a drive-through wedding chapel. My fiancée is gonna kill me when she finds out. FML
Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML
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Top comments
CharliesCool2084 8
Congratulations!
shayshayshazam 14
He's clearly joking lol. Personally I find it funny!
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Comments (254)
jaredofmo 22
Aw, now you know he has a nickname for you!
twerp21 3
You should change your Facebook status to single.
twerp21 3
...if he keeps it up.
midnight21 8
You deserve it for checking your Facebook on your wedding day.
daltonromanowski 11
How the **** does that make sense, dumbass?
Anai08 17
I don't know about deserving it, but why OP or her husband thought to check Facebook on their wedding day is beyond me...
jaredofmo 22
OP just got married, was being driven to a reception. Seemingly, not with her new husband. Thinks to check her Facebook while she has a few minutes to kill. Maybe even update her status to say, "JUST GOT MARRIED!" And then discover her husband just did the same thing. Weird? Nope. Welcome to the age where we live online and offline.
lolfood 24
Sounds like a keeper
agm77 9
That's cute. It rhymes.
SayPeanuts 29
At least he's poetic.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Welp... looks like this is going to be a 'fun' relationship. Stay or leave; your call, OP.
owo_fml 9
Well of course it's her call. How would someone else divorce them for her?
nikamarie 6
Well... A bitch is a dog, dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are a part of nature, and nature is beautiful. Maybe he was going for that...? Talk to him about it? Helps alot of the time
brianjman14 23
My friend says a similar thing except she says "A bitch is a dog, dogs pee on trees, and trees are beautiful."
nikamarie 6
Hahah i think i like that one betterXD
me254 0
Clever!
thelastavailable 13
Wow is Facebook so amazing that you must even check it on your wedding day? I feel like I'm kind of missing out now.
whogivesafuck88 10
That's awesome