Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, at church, I sneezed suddenly and messily into my hand just as the priest asked us to stand and greet our neighbors with a handshake. FML
Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML
Today, my raving lunatic mother screamed at me for being "disrespectful", threatened to not pay for my college, swore at me, and accused me of having multiple personality disorder, all in rapid succession. This was provoked by me sneezing. FML
Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating, and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of "setting her off", when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks." All I did was say the word "abortion." FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I sneezed so bad in public that I dropped my coffee, kicked it while trying to catch it, and watched it slide dramatically across the floor into someone’s shoe. They gasped like I'd committed a crime. I just whispered, “Sorry” and fled. FML
Today, I sneezed while getting my keys from my pocket on the way to my front door, dropped them into a storm drain, and then had to explain to my landlord that my reason for needing the spare key was "seasonal allergies." FML
Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, I had to abandon my shopping after a Covidiot directly sneezed all over it. He took his mask off because he was about to sneeze. FML
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Top comments
Xarin 0
Y'know, I'm Christian, and I love Jesus, and all that... But I just can't stand people like that...ugh
perfectwinds 0
Haha I love hyper religious customers. When one found out I was pregnant she literally reached across the desk, grabbed my head, and said "GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR BABY!" really loud. I couldn't stop laughing after she left.
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Comments (151)
scorpiogirl666 0
I have no problem with religious people. I just have a problem with them when they're talking about religion and God and Jesus. I respect that they have their beliefs, but can't they just shut up about it and let me have MY beliefs? People that force their own beliefs on other people should tie themselves to a pole.
effingclassy 0
Dear OP/retailslave, Check out notalwaysright dot com (as in the customer is not always right) It's glorious. Love, fellow retailer
Juli_fml 0
and people wonder why no one wants to be a Christian. it's because of people like this who are totally psycho. we're not all like that, though.
r0flc0pter 0
i totally agree with #64
sizemattic 0
Man I hate bible thumpers. Religion is chill just don't try to shove that crap down my throat
xxPrettyJane 0
#33, nobody encourages abortions. obama just wants women whose health is at risk by her pregnancy, or a woman pregnant by rape, to have the option of abortion. there is NOBODY who says: GO OUT AND GET AN ABORTION NOW!!! YAY IT'S FUN
elara15 0
I'll be honest, I'm more of a deist though I attend a Catholic church. One of the things I have admired about the Catholics (unlike not letting women be priests or letting priests marry) is that they have always taught the Bible as an allegory and have supported evolution all along. #33, you're just as bad a representative of religious people as that crazy customer. Abortion is not automatically anti-religion. It made some sense in the past, but most churches support nonprocreative sex, so you have to be realisitic about birth control and other procedures. There are Bible passages like Exodus 21:22-25 and Ecclesiastes 4:3 that don't equate the fetus with human life and think it's better to have never existed. I would never vote Republican. They do nothing to help any of the less fortunate. The Christians who have sided with them have no understanding of politics. (Not that Democrats aren't without flaws.) Luke 16:8 -- "And it is true that the children of this world are more shrewd in dealing with the world around them than are the children of the light."
AlAesthetic 0
People need to keep their religion to themselves
Combat_Mushroom 3
I encourage abortions. Unfortunately obama doesnt though ;/ we have a huge over population problem & we cant justify genocides... plus they never really turn out right
xxMariahhh 0
definitely not FML worthy.