Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at church, I sneezed suddenly and messily into my hand just as the priest asked us to stand and greet our neighbors with a handshake. FML
Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML
Today, my raving lunatic mother screamed at me for being "disrespectful", threatened to not pay for my college, swore at me, and accused me of having multiple personality disorder, all in rapid succession. This was provoked by me sneezing. FML
Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating, and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of "setting her off", when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks." All I did was say the word "abortion." FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I sneezed so bad in public that I dropped my coffee, kicked it while trying to catch it, and watched it slide dramatically across the floor into someone’s shoe. They gasped like I'd committed a crime. I just whispered, “Sorry” and fled. FML
Today, I sneezed while getting my keys from my pocket on the way to my front door, dropped them into a storm drain, and then had to explain to my landlord that my reason for needing the spare key was "seasonal allergies." FML
Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, I had to abandon my shopping after a Covidiot directly sneezed all over it. He took his mask off because he was about to sneeze. FML
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Top comments
Xarin 0
Y'know, I'm Christian, and I love Jesus, and all that... But I just can't stand people like that...ugh
perfectwinds 0
Haha I love hyper religious customers. When one found out I was pregnant she literally reached across the desk, grabbed my head, and said "GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR BABY!" really loud. I couldn't stop laughing after she left.
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Comments (151)
mrhahn530 0
Number 27, most of us are against him because he uses tax dollars to encourage and pay for abortions which we, as Christians, believe is murder. He also supports a plethora of liberal agendas that go against christian morals (theory of evolution, etc). Thats why...
ateasenfitz 0
They don't need to give you a bad rep, most wars, the Salem Witch Trials, and the 9/11 terrorist attacks were caused by differences in religion, or crazy religious zealots being assholes. Without religion this world would be a better place!!
strangersdk 0
Damn religion. I completely agree with #34, almost every war, terrorism, and 'evil' act is due to religion and conflicting religions.
ozymandias_fml 0
Your own fault for *letting* them go on that long. With me, it would have lasted 10 seconds -- just long enough for me to tell them that I had no interest in their religious convictions, and that this is not the time, nor the place to be discussing them.
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
I agree with #5. People like this bother me. And technically, I'm not religious. So when people say this stuff to me, I get irritated. xD;
Drakon_fml 7
**** HER life.
tehhotness 0
Obama sucks. I love how my tax dollars are paying for Kumar to talk to Hollywood for him
luxornv 0
#20, please use some form of grammar and proper spelling the next time you post. This has to be real. I don't think a logical person could come up with something this weird.
pennytheloony 0
#33 please don't generalise, you might believe that abortion is murder and that darwinism goes against christian morals, but many christians (I believe most christians actually), including myself don't think that way.
TheBrookmeister 0
...wow. Thats all, just wow.