Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at church, I sneezed suddenly and messily into my hand just as the priest asked us to stand and greet our neighbors with a handshake. FML
Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML
Today, my raving lunatic mother screamed at me for being "disrespectful", threatened to not pay for my college, swore at me, and accused me of having multiple personality disorder, all in rapid succession. This was provoked by me sneezing. FML
Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating, and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of "setting her off", when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks." All I did was say the word "abortion." FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I sneezed so bad in public that I dropped my coffee, kicked it while trying to catch it, and watched it slide dramatically across the floor into someone’s shoe. They gasped like I'd committed a crime. I just whispered, “Sorry” and fled. FML
Today, I sneezed while getting my keys from my pocket on the way to my front door, dropped them into a storm drain, and then had to explain to my landlord that my reason for needing the spare key was "seasonal allergies." FML
Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, I had to abandon my shopping after a Covidiot directly sneezed all over it. He took his mask off because he was about to sneeze. FML
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Top comments
Xarin 0
Y'know, I'm Christian, and I love Jesus, and all that... But I just can't stand people like that...ugh
perfectwinds 0
Haha I love hyper religious customers. When one found out I was pregnant she literally reached across the desk, grabbed my head, and said "GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR BABY!" really loud. I couldn't stop laughing after she left.
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Comments (151)
_Sazzle 0
Dead babies and Barak Obama... Love it.
BigLord 0
#6 agreed. These kind of people make me sick, it's like some Jehova's witnesses.
jdkfgkjdfb 0
That person should stay home.
bubs_AKA_vermin 0
i don't really believe in god as much as jesus, i might be a christian (even though i don't like all this worship bullshit) but MAN is she messed in the head. i dislike religion. partly because everyone believes in a nonexistant 'god' and we are forced to believe this crap. screw that.
never_accepted 0
I totally agree with #52. Although when people like that do shit like that you just need to walk away. Those kind of people who go into depth such as that don't deserve attention, but they don't deserve any disrespect either.
McHammerfist 0
#98 I am confused by your statements. By believing in Jesus, you are believing in God Himself, for Jesus is the son of God, our Lord and Savior. I understand that you are young and that youth make mistakes. Don't worry, Jesus will forgive you! As long as you accept God as your one and true savior that is ;-) And you can be a good Christian without going to Mass! Just make sure all of your values are in check and abstain until marriage. I find some of the things that our current president is supporting despicable, but support him because I love this great nation. God bless, #98
taosis 0
Exactly why I hate Religious people
VerticalOrbit 0
I don't say anything to people when they sneeze. I hate saying, "bless you." I know it has some sort of background as to why we say it, but I don't see the point. Not to mention I'm not a religious person. People like that, however, scare me. They also make me giggle.
resawins 0
whaaaaaat?!! what a nut!!! hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
catiechu 0
******* black moslems cant be president