Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, at church, I sneezed suddenly and messily into my hand just as the priest asked us to stand and greet our neighbors with a handshake. FML
Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML
Today, my raving lunatic mother screamed at me for being "disrespectful", threatened to not pay for my college, swore at me, and accused me of having multiple personality disorder, all in rapid succession. This was provoked by me sneezing. FML
Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating, and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of "setting her off", when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks." All I did was say the word "abortion." FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I sneezed so bad in public that I dropped my coffee, kicked it while trying to catch it, and watched it slide dramatically across the floor into someone’s shoe. They gasped like I'd committed a crime. I just whispered, “Sorry” and fled. FML
Today, I sneezed while getting my keys from my pocket on the way to my front door, dropped them into a storm drain, and then had to explain to my landlord that my reason for needing the spare key was "seasonal allergies." FML
Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, I had to abandon my shopping after a Covidiot directly sneezed all over it. He took his mask off because he was about to sneeze. FML
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Top comments
Xarin 0
Y'know, I'm Christian, and I love Jesus, and all that... But I just can't stand people like that...ugh
perfectwinds 0
Haha I love hyper religious customers. When one found out I was pregnant she literally reached across the desk, grabbed my head, and said "GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR BABY!" really loud. I couldn't stop laughing after she left.
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Comments (151)
Phlecks 0
Ditto to #6 I'm religious as well, but seriously, even religious bumper stickers with big bold letters saying "Jesus is the only way" irritate me to no end. I love you, #63. Love. You.
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
34... Mother Teresa? Gandhi? No?
Ox_Baker 0
She wasn't being religious; she was being crazy. It's been pretty common since the Bush years.
QiScorpion 0
i'm Christian too, but shifting weather patterns hearlding the return of Jesus who is upset about abortion and Obama is madness, plain and simple. bad luck and pray it doesn't happen again. :P
lol_seriously 0
duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh......................
bella_brasil 0
wow thank you #18 for your insight. good thing you've helped me realize that. This is funny but how is it an FML?
geesquared 0
Ahh that sucks. I don't care if she's religious, but the fact of connecting a sneeze to Jesus, abortions, and the "anti-Christ Obama" is ridiculous. FYL, indeed. Evolution a liberal agenda? HAHA!
Rosinha_fml 0
#57 If you didnt get the joke about the pirates, just google "pastafarian", it will make more sense ;-)
mattsomething 0
People like her give us a bad name. I believe in evolution, I support Obama, and I like what he's doing. And I'm a Christian. Funny. It seems like she's (one of many who's) following the "letter of the law" (Bible) and not really thinking about what it means. And that's exactly what Jesus said about certain Jewish groups (Pharisees, I believe). Also, lol @ #13.
dwights 0
i hate religion. and obama..