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"Shut up" is one of those phrases that people who respect each other shouldn't say. My wife and I haven't said that in over 15 years. We prefer "Fuck you, asshole."

Next time sneeze silently, in his face.

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My husband tells me to shut up when I have the hiccups.

Cool story bro

Isn't that pleasant.

She doesn't even go here!

The FML post reminds me of Seinfeld, when Jerry tells anyone who sneezes, "You're soooo good looking!" I know it is the opposite of what the husband said, who sounds like a jerk, but that was the fiesta thing that came to my mind. I'm sorry you're married to a guy who's rude, OP.

#1, is that why he keeps you locked up behind that fence, too? Just bite him.

Haha, he's not rude. I actually find it funny because the more I try to stop hiccuping, the worse it gets.

I tell people to shut up when they're coughing and I'm trying to sleep.

Yes, because people can just all up and completely control their cough to please you. The last I checked, most coughing is involuntary.

I struggle with coughing at night (and the day) cause of a respiratory condition I have. it can't be cured. there's nothing more annoying than someone who tells me to shut up when I clearly can't control it.

You can control it. It is quite difficult. Do you have the will power and brain power to do so?

Sorry #62, but some coughing is completely involuntary. You can hold some of it back, but when your body truly needs to cough, no amount of concentrating will save you. The part of your brain that's forcing a cough will override your willpower, just like when you forcibly need to vomit.

I tell people to shut up when they're sleeping and I'm trying to cough

64 is right on point. Many times, if you try to not cough and clear your throat, the cough will end up lasting longer and be even louder. It's best to just get it over with when a cough/coughing attack appears.

You sound like a bitch.

So when he told you to slow down you said shut up

You should re read the post and try again

You know it's love when he's a jerk to your face.

Next time sneeze silently, in his face.

Stop commenting because all you get is negative votes.

34- you're 13, I thought you had to be 18+ to comment?

Nope. You can comment as soon as you have an account.

Ummm 34 I hate to be the person to burst you're bubble.....but......you child are the only one getting thumbed down....

No one is the age their suppose to be anymore. It's not like the computer asks for your ID before singing up for things.

I bet I am not the only one who thumbed up 7 and thumbed down 34 out of pure spite.

I do believe you'd win that bet, 65.

Don't you have to go through puberty before you can comment?

People commonly say "bless u" when we sneeze. Maybe he's not religious

Im not religious but i still say "bless you" out of common courtesy.

*Psst* F3rris...it's a joke.

Come on Doc, religion ain't no joke!!

Were the two extra letters in "you" really that hard to add?

its no big deal, he was probably just trying to do something

Like what piece of sh*t comment is this?

im trying to look on the bright side asshole, you don't need to be a tight ass about it

Congratulations, this was possibly the greatest FML comment ever! Your prize will be getting thumbed down by everyone else here!

Looking at the bright side is good. Saying that he "did something" is not so good.

I automatically hate you GrammarNazis, simply because if your name. And I am sure the OP's husband was just messing with her.

I agree @54 its FML not a letter to the president, like no one will really use proper grammar on here except for people like him, its sooo annoying, u make a mistake and everyone is down ur throat about it

Should I be the asshole that corrects you to *of?

This comment wins the Internet for today. From now on this will be how I try to comfort anyone I see get treated like crap. I can see it now. I'll be all like, It's no big deal, he was probably just trying to do something. And that person will just hug me and be like thank you SO much for helping and supporting me in my time of need.

He's probably going to yell "stop it!" If you're bleeding from slicing your nether regions while shaving! Sounds like a keeper OP!!

Yes, and he's also going to complain about how he and her ex have the same name. Oh yeah, amd also how she bangs her head in the shower.

Wow, two other FML references. Is that some kind of record?

Correction, 47. Two shitty and irrelevant* FML references.

yo mister grammar Nazi, its and* not amd

There's not much I am irritated by more than poser wannabes. Like grammarnazis with terrible grammar and spelling skills.

69- You have grammar and spelling mixed up, fool. Try again.

@78 no, he spelt and wrong, his name is grammar Nazi, I never said he had wrong grammar, re-read before u post

84 you don't seem to be in much of a position to be correcting spelling anyway. Also, it was just a typo, not like he actually says "amd" all the time, since he clearly spelled it correctly the first time.

I know this is a crazy thought, but most "grammar nazis" proof read their sentences, paragraphs, written work etc. so yes he is a poser wannabe for spelling "and" wrong.

@93 I know how to spell but like I keep telling people im on FML, im gunna abbreviate words like you and your and etc, its just people like him "grammar Nazi" who are constantly correcting people, like its stupid, were online, not writting a letter. Im online to enjoy myself, I purposely say u and ur and idk, do I need need some ass hole trying to look smart by correcting me, like holy shit. and most of the time they correct people is when they make a typo, so fuck man

That's inconsiderate and rude

Has he got sand in his vagina?

LMAAAAOOOOOO !!!!