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At least it wasn't a cock that attacked your face. I had to tell my friend I was clawed by a cock before, damn chickens.

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It is. I thought OP was going to say they walked into a glass door or something. the disappointment is thick.

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wow, stitches from a glass door would have been funny. I had to look at OP's location because I was going to work in New Rochelle yesterday and saw pigeon wings and idk what the other part was, but no body. (obviously it must be dead) It was weird that op had a bad experience with a pigeon in France, and I see a bodiless one on New York... Almost like OP willed it to happen... And I'm not lying. If anyone lives in New Rochelle, it was outside of the Metronorth, near memorial highway before you c

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Say you got mugged in a dark ally late at night and the guy that mugged you stabbed you in the face a few times...and the scars just happen to look like claws

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I got attacked by an owl once. She was nesting in my horse's stable, and I, unaware of her presence, unwittingly disturbed her when I was mucking out. I wasn't ashamed, everybody thought I was like, Chuck Norris for fighting off an owl.

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It varies depending upon what services you require. As the world's only unicorn in the prostitution business, you must understand my fees run high.

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67 your talking to a Epic pear shouldn't your fees be lowered, like c'mon what kind of Unicorn doesn't want to do nasty things to a pear of epicness.

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I would say that wolverine attacked me after I did an impression of him with Freddy fingers while he watched from behind my back. Then I would say that I hit him in the back of the head with a rolling pin when he flipped me off with his middle claw.

By  mk58

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Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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umm that's not really true lol. if one of my true friends got attacked by a bird I would laugh

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my friends would laugh at me. but they'd probably half expect something like that from me lol. BUT I would also laugh if it happened to them :{)

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