By Anonymous - 08/02/2012 17:45

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 992
You deserved it 2 220

Same thing different taste

Top comments

zingline89 18

I'm talon you, show me some pics and owl believe you.


chillyCholo 5

Were you in a tree house or what?

For some reason if someone asks you "what happened", and you say "you wouldn't believe me if I told you", then people are more likely to believe you. At least, that's how it's been for me.

ryry013 6

I still wouldn't believe you, with or without stitches, if you said you were attacked by a bird at 3AM

nibzbreazy 2

HAHA. well said. have you heard..? about the bird?

Pixxio_O 11

a) Close your window or b) Stop sleeping in a frigging tree.

I wish I could've seen it, it sounds like a hoot!

nublets 12

Angry birds in real life, god save us

Pero like... you act like thats the worst part... you forget thats going to scar across your face and you're going to look hella weird.

lrgenesis 19

We all know you just tripped over a rock...

That or girl scouts beat your ass for not buying cookies and you lied about everything

CadillacPimpen 6
EmilyShmemily496 0

......what were you doing out at 3 am?

Thank you 1 i now have that song stuck in my head.

he was sleep walking and dreaming of birds

Bird: "save me human!!!". You: "...the ****?!". Owl: "om nom nom".

Since Angry Birds came up, just be happy it wasn't one of the exploding black ones.

I hate birds, dirty nasty things they are. They can peck, swoop AND shit on your head!

Please, admit it.. You like rough sex ;)

Rough as in no lube? Cause ****** burn hurts way more than rug burn.

what would you know of ****** burns? o____o

"you don't always have to **** her hard, in fact sometimes thats not right to do. Sometimes you've got to make some love, and ******* give her some smooches too."

Did you have the window open or something? Who has a window open at 3 am in January? Unless you're in Australia or something. Ouch!

the fml might not have been moderated till recently and the fml might be old. just a thought... forgive me if im wrong.

It's been an unseasonably warm winter. I had my window open just the other day and I live in Kentucky.

eigelste 0

I wanna know where you were at 3 am for this to happen. . . The forest at 3 am ? Really?

Yeah, birds and owls only live in the forest. What OP didn't say was about the lions, cheetah, and orange hippos attacking him. He just didn't add them because it would be declined for being unbelievable.

Llama_Face89 33

It WAS a full moon last night....

brunomars09 3

We're currently in February :P Fail.

I go for walks in the forest at 3 am all the time... I mean, when else would you go to hide the bodies?

I go for walks in the forest at 3 am all the time... I mean, when else would you go to hide the bodies?

chubby_choco 17

Uh...have you never heard of burrowing or barn owls? Plenty of those in the desert, swooping around at 3 AM.

I've had an owl swoop in front of my car (high enough so I wouldn't hit it) in the middle of downtown Cincinnati, Ohio. So I'm pretty sure that the location of the FML is irrelevant, just so long as temperature permits an owl to inhabit that area.

First I used to walk in the woods all the time in middle of the night. Second not everybody lives in towns or cities. Where I live we have owls, coyotes, and other critters around our house all the time. Birds are skittish creatures. I would believe you op, I would laugh, but I would believe you.

eigelste 0

I never said I didn't believe him I just wanna know what he was doing you people are reading to deep into my comment I think, so stop trying to be cool and act all smart cause your not your just a hmmmm over thinker

grmnxsensati0n 4

just tell them that niqqas b trippin

perdix 29

Don't go out in the birdy bird world, if you can't handle the violence. You're definitely not ready for the doggy dog world, but maybe you can toughen up by delving into the hamstery hamster would. Learn a bit o the ol rodent ultraviolence from me droogs, Alex, Petey and Dim.

perdix 29

Yes, I know. If you recalled my comment in the cannibalistic hamster FML, you'd have seen that I addressed that issue. You'd better work harder if you expect a good grade in perdix Studies;)

quite_bored 9
Petronix 5

Clockwork Orange ftw. I'm going to head over to Korova. Meet you there Perdix?

Perdix, not everyone is as smart as you, and is going to remember each and every comment here on FML

perdix isn't slipping. his comments are always fun to read. and if you can figure out his references, you can give yourself a pat on the back

perdix 29

Haha, ShyAnn, I don't remember ALL of my comments. The "hamstery hamster" one from a few days ago tickled me. I thought birdy bird would keep the theme going.

Perdix never does shit by accident people... C'mon now

Perdix, hamstery hamster is pretty funny!

weasel123 9

Maybe that's why most people usually aren't out and about at 3 in the morning. Those birds are vicious!

perdix 29
weasel123 9

It isn't just birds we need to look out for. Once while walking down my driveway, an acorn smacked me on the side of the head. I look over, and there is a squirrel just chilling there staring me down.