By thewrittenrebel - 28/10/2014 07:40 - South Africa - Bellville

Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 302
You deserved it 5 859

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

When I read the first sentence, I thought OP was cutting. The way the FML ended is definetly not nice either, but I was relieved though!

Spawn of satan.

Comments

Spawn of satan.

Spray it with water

from a pressure washer

Just run the vacuum very close to it...

#1 it crawled out of satan ass

This is why I will always be a dog person.

And they say no animals are truly evil. My sister had one that would sit on the shelf and scratch the hell out of you when you walked by. Then it would growl and hiss if you looked at it. She called him black jack. I called him satan.

Everybody gets the cat they deserve!

time to get rid of the cat.

Hard to give up pussy though.

Less so, if the pussy has a dick.

get a spray bottle

or a catapult

When I read the first sentence, I thought OP was cutting. The way the FML ended is definetly not nice either, but I was relieved though!

Thats exactly what I thought

That sounds...catastrophic.

OP felyin' to his/her boss.!

If it's that bad then declaw it. I know it's not a fun thing to do but your cat deserves it.

Okay then kill it.

I can understand declawing, but killing it is beyond fucked up. all of my cats are declared, but they are inside cats and don't go outside. scratching is just something that cats do; it's not like they are trying to murder your family.

cutting the nails of a cat is terrible, don't do it.

I said kill it because people are being so negative about my declawing comment. Don't cut the nails? THEN WHAT IS THE PERSON SUPPOSED TO DO?!

Declawing a cat is like cutting your fingers off at the first joint. They have to take away part of the cat's bones in order to do it and it often has lasting negative affects. That's probably why people are "being so negative" about your comment.

they make little covers to glue on their claws. that come off after 6 months or a year.

Guys my cat is declawed and she is perfectly fine. It's really not that big of a deal. Also, my uncles cat has those little nail caps. They work well and it's funny hearing them click when they walk through the kitchen

#53, Your cat might be fine but there's plenty of cats that have suffered ill effects from it. It's a pretty cruel procedure and a lot of vets refuse to do it because of the pain it often causes.

My cat is fine, my roommates cat is fine, my moms cat is fine, my grandmas cat is fine, my great grandmothers cat is fine, my best friends cat is fine, and I'm sure there are many other cats that are fine. Rare cats have bad reactions, just like animals and spaying.

Cats don't express pain in very visible ways. It's a common problem that you can't evaluate how serious an injury to a cat is because they hide pain very well. Cats will purr when in pain to try to self-heal. Just because you think your cat is fine having part of their digits surgically removed doesn't mean they aren't suffering. Trim the nails with clippers, get the caps, don't declaw.

#74, Many vets refuse to do the procedure due to it being cruel. If it were just rare that cats suffered effects from it, wouldn't more vets be willing to do it? Cats also don't show pain often, as #78 pointed out. They're fairly stoic. A major problem with declawed cats is that their toes hurt (and I can imagine why), so using the litter box hurts (scraping the litter after they use it). Sometimes they'll start going on clothing, carpet, etc. Somewhere it's soft and doesn't hurt to scratch. On a personal note: My old boss has all her cats declawed and while I don't agree with the decision, I have to say that her cats give the best paw massages! (Although they do walk differently from trying not to put weight on their toes).

#74 - um, animals have a natural defence of hiding pain so predators wont target them, unless its too much to tollerate quietly. so how can i believe your word that those cats are "okay"

declawing is like slicing off half of your finger. NO animal deserves that hostile or not.

Luckily that is not legal in South Africa!!! If you can't handle a cat as it is born, don't get one - not everything in life needs to be tailored to suit your personal needs, especially when it is a living soul you are dealing with.

Shouldn't have got a cat, mate. Always get a dog.

Yeah because dogs never attack anyone

#69 I don't think you get what #8 really means...

Sadistic cats are always entertaining! Mainly for those not being mauled though...

O.O your profile picture could a picture of my cat right before he attack

reminds me of that cat from pet cemetery.

Cats are the spawn of satan, people should realize this by now

cats are spawns of satan....got it.

No, they aren't. Many people just don't try to understand a cat's behaviour. Because they aren't dogs most people seem to think that you just need to get a kitten and a litter box and you're done which is obviously bs.

I don't know why you're getting downvoted 51, you're right. People need to realize they need to be playing with their cats on a daily basis. It blows my mind the amount of time people commit to training and playing with their dogs, but can't even spend 15 minutes every day just playing with their cat.

It's a bird! It's a plane! NO! It's a joke going way over your head!

Sounds like a cat from My Cat From Hell!