Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML
Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML
Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML
Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
Today, my neighbor turned down his loud music that he's been playing for months, only to turn on a porn movie at maximum volume. FML
Today, I was home alone, blasting music, dancing in my underwear, singing into a wooden spoon. I turned around mid-performance to see my landlord standing in the kitchen. I’d forgotten about the maintenance appointment I'd scheduled. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML
Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML
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Top comments
CRrawsum 7
Join him!
Livinia 11
We all know you got out the popcorn and sat and watched.
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Comments (229)
CRrawsum 7
Join him!
kyleinsane 0
****
Idonebeenhad 17
JUST BEAT IT, JUST BEAT IT!!
yougotapes 7
lol^^ at least the guy is comfortable with his skin!
Keyman1212 14
Beat his meat? Splendid idea for a low budget porno!
KingGeorgeGal 12
Go outside to see the sunset(:
MsSoulReaper 27
Yeah bring some excitement to that boring sunset!
Jacobt24 19
Maybe this is the husband of the grandma that brought the party to 4th of July in a previous FML?
PsychoXtheXrapis 3
DO THE HELICOPTER DICK
enonymous 8
Add in some crystal meth and this a average wednesday night for me... very chill nothing crazy
gamerhead 3
We can dance you want to! lololol
Keyman1212 14
I think you meant, "you can dance if you want to, you can leave your friends behind..." Yeah, the safety dance. That's an Animal Biology Lab ritual, it is played every time before class, to remind us to be safe!
mfmylifesrsly 29
is it wrong that I do this every Saturday morning?.......
Keyman1212 14
It would be wrong if you didn't tell me your address, and what window belonged to your bedroom ?(creepy face for those without iDevices)
NeonBlack 0
Screw joining him. FINISH HIM
woodzy1993 0
Yes you ****!!
theten_fml 9
looks like you got a full moon instead.
theunwiseone 4
can't beat the Helicockter
cfalen 0
you can easily just play some music and make it a block party!
DropDead77 11
He was obviously on E for the fireworks?
freelove_fml 2
E?
alexg823 0
Ecstacy :) aka happy pill
iluvboobies 9
I bet he had lady GAGA on too.
CsDy1395 6
agreed. hell, he won't be dancing alone for long, tell him I'll join!
JustOhSoLovely 6
I would have, I do this at least once a week!
BaMaBelle11 0
so what if he likes to hang out with his Wang out!!
SixtyNyan 0
Go jam out with your clam out!
ambowew 7
It was obviously his birthday, he simply wanted to wear his birthday suit!
IWarnedYou 0
Canadiens....
kritz0 10
Canadians are great people
RetardedBullFrog 4
He's from Austrailia. Americans . . .
IWarnedYou 0
It says he's from Canada.
ambowew 7
Retardedbullfrog, I believe they were talking about the OP. You were quick to point out they were wrong, so it's only fair to point out that you missed getting my gender right. Better luck next time.
Lumenoire 0
Party hard, creepy naked next-door-neighbor.
RetardedBullFrog 4
Damn! I thought they we're talking about you since they replied to your comment. You guys have my simcere apologies . . . americans . . .
MrSassypants 33
64 oh yeah? Well... you... somewhere in a pondien.
Keyman1212 14
What's wrong with Americans? There would hardly be an entertainment industry in the world without America! And don't say, well my country has Blah, blah, blah... I bet you listen to American music and watch Hollywood films, and enjoy our **** industry. Yeah, Americans indeed.
RetardedBullFrog 4
75, all that still doesn't give them the right to belittle other countries. My pond happens to be somewhere near canada, they're nice people.
Keyman1212 14
I happen to like Canada. I'm a firm believer that America needs a bitch on top at all times.
tsim_fml 0
or he was drunk as ****
BlAcKxJe5uS 6
Moral of this FML... Acid is bad
cc_the_beast 6
Someone is pinging off their chops!
RokNRoll11 9
lol nice account pic
itsmeyippie 0
you live next to Charlie sheen and saw him stoned, cool
Livinia 11
We all know you got out the popcorn and sat and watched.
MrSassypants 33
Nope. OP joined. Then after a while, while OP was dancing with him, OP wondered why he even submitted the FML in the first place.
RetardedBullFrog 4
He's doing the sunset dance, someone has to do it . . .
simply_improper 1
Who actually watches the sunset anymore? Yanno, peeping toms are considered to be sex offenders. Then again so are exhibitionist. Remind me not to move to your neighborhood, seems to be full of sex offenders. :p
MrSassypants 33
50 what in the ******* cacti in a taco are you talking about?
miniluda12 12
lol well put. (:
simply_improper 1
Just joking around and pointing out that both parties can be charged as a sex offender for peeping, an the other for exposing himself. Dont worry, i jus took my meds, im okay now. Wanna make out a lil?
MrSassypants 33
After I finish my bag of onions, my taco filled with cacti, and when the world is overthrown by my sassypants. So in about two minutes we would make out. Then in a while I would try to lay you down gently and try to get on top of you. When I do that you say "I am not that type of woman" and I say okay do the "ba dum tsss" on your hoo hoos an then jump out your window. I then yell "I'll pay for it" then run and whisper to myself that I won't. We meet years later at a local Sears and you say how's it going. I will then say good. We will then remember that wacky time and then I'll say "yeh it was crazy" and then you relieve shocking news that you had my baby. I then say it is not mine because we never had sex but we take a DNA test and it is somehow mine. Then we get married and we live *insert adverb here* ever after.
simply_improper 1
You ruined my whole life!
Keyman1212 14
KaySL could have made a better homoerotic make out story, probably involving the Cunters, and or Louisville Sluggers shoved up an asshole. Gross.
MrSassypants 33
How can you say that? We are happily married, have a talented young boy that can "dance like Michael Jackson," and if you still think I ruined your life then look back and see who asked to make out. That's right sugar booger, you did. Honey, you ruined your own life and all I did was ruin your window. Also why do I hear couples call each other sugar booger? Why in the hell do I want to be a sugar-coated, slimy, sticky, green thing that comes from a nose?
Keyman1212 14
Simply_improper has a rager of a hardon right now, but he's too damn selfish to share it with his husband. Cunter....
MrSassypants 33
Sorry, I have to say it but judging from the pic and the profile I concluded that it is in fact, a she. You said he and I am sorry but it is not a he, so since it is a she it is not **** like you said before. 8)
Keyman1212 14
That's what HE wants you to think...
KaylieBieber13 0
ya ur really okay lol
Keyman1212 14
The Beebs will never marry you. Maybe you could be used as a cum dumpster for him. Maybe.
Igniculus 0
Girls don't use cum dumpsters.
Keyman1212 14
I gave him the benefit of the doubt. That's more than most would do.
iSurf_fml 8
MrSassypants, simply_improper is like ten years older than you. I had no idea you have a taste for the finer things in life you cougar hunter, you.
simply_improper 1
i should have settled for a handshake
taazer 12
i love your storys :D
MrSassypants 33
I love you too... I mean your stories... ha.
simply_improper 1
Adultetous! I want a divorce. Youre obviously not commited to this relationship. :(
simply_improper 1
Adulterous*
RetardedBullFrog 4
Hey guys! I'm back from my pond . . . what the fly is happening here!?! I just went and eat 3 flies and all of a sudden there's like this whole story shiz going on here . . . damn
Keyman1212 14
You're trying to hard with that frog theme...
MsSoulReaper 27
Then just close your curtains. Problem solved!
quinnjamin10 2
How do you watch a sunset through curtains?
MsSoulReaper 27
You can't. It's not like OP have magical powers to see through objects; but even if OP did he would still see the naked dude.
RetardedBullFrog 4
Problem not solved . . .
supertacowaffle 41
And they, turn me on, when they, take it off...
quinnjamin10 2
LIKEWISE! jk..
yummycupkake 0
there's a place I know if you're looking for a show where grandpas go hardcore and there's glitter on the floor!
QuantumLegend 0
I like how part of the fml is that his neighbor was by himself
itsmeyippie 0
haha win on the picture above me
iloveyou088 0
YDI for staring.
sleepyN 0
yea what a jealous mook
ShockingShelby 0
Lol. That's funny.
itsmeyippie 0
Then again OP is in Canada, that would probably be normal up there... EH!
lopez1222 3
some view! ;)
danica45 7
who were u tryin 2 impress..
Keyman1212 14
The pedophiles who like emaciated Puerto Ricans...
coolp3rson 0
ur pic fails!
coolp3rson 0
ur pic fails!
Keyman1212 14
Iluvboners has been up to his old ways again. Damn cretin.
GreenMaze 0
How big was the sunset.?
NecroParade 3
How can Boners be up to his old ways again if he never stopped. More like "He's still at it." If OP had watched for a bit longer, they would have seen him go to his computer and type out his various comments while still dancing majestically, never missing a beat.
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Usually you have to pay extra for that.