By omfgnooo - 09/09/2011 23:22 - United States

Spicy
Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML
I agree, your life sucks 17 854
You deserved it 54 869

Same thing different taste

Top comments

clearly we know deep throat isn't a talent of yours.

Nuahavizu 17

And here i thought that WALKING and chewing gum was tough :P

Comments

wow you were that desperate to finish your mom had to help you?

Things you should't do while chewing gum: fap, exercise, sleep, have the sex.

Some people enjoy being choked while attempting to reach climax. My favorite kind of story on the news: Man dies of self inflicted Auto-erotic Asphyxiation. No, but really...

That's a sign that you should stop jerkin the gherkin

austinkiser 3
YourEvilHero 12

I would have made sure to pull my pants up. I would have probably froze if I was ur mom and been like "I ain't going near that."

theten_fml 9

I'm down for a bit of choking ;)

Im just trying to imagine how shitty ur life was about one full breath after the gum came out

csickcman 11

So what you're saying is your mom had to help you while you were wanking it?

I really hope you didn't bust all over her...

Your alive thanks to your mom. I guess you would rather have not been caught, but died?

I don't see how this happened. you were jerking off, then you choked, and mommy suddenly appeared? Was she already in the room? I mean, I've choked before and you can't really make noise when you're choking other than a gagging sound. did you crawl out of you room with your pants around your ankles to find your mom? if so... your life really does suck. maybe you just weren't really choking and so could make some noise, in which case you deserve it bc you def could have had time to pull up your pants

Nuahavizu 17

And here i thought that WALKING and chewing gum was tough :P

Wouldn't the chewing you have to with the gum (obviously) do ruin the good thought??

decidedlyvague 11

eyyy wut? Is that a sentence or just a compilation of gibberish? I could be wrong, but I feel like you're speaking in tongues.

I think it's supposed to be: wouldn't chewing the gum obviously ruin the masturbation session?

Choking the chicken: You're doing it wrong...

Kinda sounds like the beta house scene, cept OP was masturbating

clearly we know deep throat isn't a talent of yours.

MagicGiraffe 12

That's good considering OP is a guy

I'm still wondering about how his mom heard him choking. Cause when youchoke u can't make noise

Lol...59 wasn't being homphobic...he was just trying to hide his gaynesss like most 'macho' men do.

BellaBelle_fml 23

When someone chokes they cannot make noise because their oxygen and airway has been cut off. If you make noise it just means that you aspirated on something, meaning when you swallow it went down the air pipe instead of the esophagus. Which can lead to choking.

hagetgood 3

Its like swimming with gum. You shouldnt do it

hoodasswhitekid 0

Note to self: never chew gum while jerkin it.

Note to lil' bro: never wank and chew gum at the same time

fr33m3xican 0

could be worse.. your dad could have walked in an said " watcha doin boy? wanking it?" an leave you while choking lol....

kylebeast11 0

Rule one of jerking off. Nvr chew gum while having fun

lmfaowww 0

She cleaned you when you were a baby, she can clean you now.