Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML
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By
turtleomnom
| 0
clearly we know deep throat isn't a talent of yours.
By
Nuahavizu
| 17
And here i thought that WALKING and chewing gum was tough :P
COMMENTS
By
ICONicBella
| 0
Awkwardddd!
Reply
bassdredd
| 2
wow you were that desperate to finish your mom had to help you?
Reply
JiggaJayZ
| 16
Asphyxiation can be sexy...
Reply
urdirtyolduncle
| 15
Things you should't do while chewing gum: fap, exercise, sleep, have the sex.
Reply
Keyman1212
| 14
Some people enjoy being choked while attempting to reach climax. My favorite kind of story on the news: Man dies of self inflicted Auto-erotic Asphyxiation. No, but really...
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
Gotta get them juices flowing.
Reply
Kyzahhh
| 7
That's a sign that you should stop jerkin the gherkin
Reply
austinkiser
| 3
Chew it over with twix
Reply
YourEvilHero
| 12
I would have made sure to pull my pants up. I would have probably froze if I was ur mom and been like "I ain't going near that."
Reply
theten_fml
| 9
I'm down for a bit of choking ;)
Reply
StormfrontX33_fml
| 24
I think instead of yourself, you're supposed to be choking the "chicken".
Reply
gojira666
| 7
Im just trying to imagine how shitty ur life was about one full breath after the gum came out
Reply
Madiluvsyuh98
| 2
11- 2
Reply
csickcman
| 11
So what you're saying is your mom had to help you while you were wanking it?
Reply
CanadianPuckHead
| 4
I really hope you didn't bust all over her...
Reply
abbyelizabeth
| 9
Your poor, poor mother. ;|
Reply
XxFA1LxX
| 4
Your alive thanks to your mom. I guess you would rather have not been caught, but died?
Reply
Bobthedrunk
| 2
Did you repaint the walls?
Reply
madaoxsan
| 9
< ROLL >
Reply
ck11_fml
| 1
I don't see how this happened. you were jerking off, then you choked, and mommy suddenly appeared? Was she already in the room? I mean, I've choked before and you can't really make noise when you're choking other than a gagging sound. did you crawl out of you room with your pants around your ankles to find your mom? if so... your life really does suck.
maybe you just weren't really choking and so could make some noise, in which case you deserve it bc you def could have had time to pull up your pants
maybe you just weren't really choking and so could make some noise, in which case you deserve it bc you def could have had time to pull up your pants
By
Nuahavizu
| 17
And here i thought that WALKING and chewing gum was tough :P
Reply
Wouldn't the chewing you have to with the gum (obviously) do ruin the good thought??
Reply
decidedlyvague
| 11
eyyy wut? Is that a sentence or just a compilation of gibberish? I could be wrong, but I feel like you're speaking in tongues.
Reply
VorpikeII
| 17
I think it's supposed to be: wouldn't chewing the gum obviously ruin the masturbation session?
Reply
MareNostrum
| 0
Choking the chicken: You're doing it wrong...
Reply
FrenchToast94
| 0
Kinda sounds like the beta house scene, cept OP was masturbating
By
turtleomnom
| 0
clearly we know deep throat isn't a talent of yours.
Reply
KatieHoof345
| 12
Haha(:
Reply
MagicGiraffe
| 12
That's good considering OP is a guy
Reply
MagicallyFat
| 12
I'm still wondering about how his mom heard him choking. Cause when youchoke u can't make noise
Reply
matt5217
| 4
you = dumb
Reply
IndigoAcrylic
| 9
Lol...59 wasn't being homphobic...he was just trying to hide his gaynesss like most 'macho' men do.
Reply
BellaBelle_fml
| 23
When someone chokes they cannot make noise because their oxygen and airway has been cut off. If you make noise it just means that you aspirated on something, meaning when you swallow it went down the air pipe instead of the esophagus. Which can lead to choking.
By
hagetgood
| 3
Its like swimming with gum. You shouldnt do it
Reply
bamxitsxandreaa
| 8
the worst......
Reply
hoodasswhitekid
| 0
Note to self: never chew gum while jerkin it.
Reply
grace14
| 0
Note to lil' bro: never wank and chew gum at the same time
By
mr_smiley227
| 0
What's a little nudity among family?
Reply
stephan18
| 23
A few years in prison ;)
Reply
suckstoobeyou
| 0
Thousands of dollars in therapist bills...
Reply
Mrman10
| 4
Loneliness.
Reply
Music_Is_Life101
| 0
Incest.
Reply
phatdaddy62
| 23
Wincest
Reply
ImFrackinBored
| 13
the south
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
Mackenzie Phillips
Reply
MizzErikaHart
| 8
A typical day
Reply
PhillyEagles
| 0
C-c-c-c- COMBO BREAKER
By
fr33m3xican
| 0
could be worse.. your dad could have walked in an said " watcha doin boy? wanking it?" an leave you while choking lol....
By
eff5
| 0
what did you learn today?
By
Shaniaaa20
| 0
I laughed. Hard.
Reply
iliketurdles
| 7
He chocked. As equally hard.
Reply
TheFakeFamilyGuy
| 9
23-Cocked?
Reply
blcarter81
| 0
Choked?
Reply
iliketurdles
| 7
*Choked. I can't even blame that on a typo *Facepalm*.
By
kylebeast11
| 0
Rule one of jerking off. Nvr chew gum while having fun
Reply
kittyLoveZombiez
| 0
Lol xD
Reply
LiveLolLuv
| 0
Ur fiiiiiine ;D
Reply
grace14
| 0
Lol ur cute too u shuld chat me up sumtime ;)
Reply
grace14
| 0
Lol :) btw ur cute
By
lmfaowww
| 0
She cleaned you when you were a baby, she can clean you now.
Reply
rayrayray23
| 1
That's not right....
Reply
maurambie
| 9
That's just disgusting.
Reply
superangryandy
| 2
Eww, why would you think of that?