Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
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Top comments
Lenora_Cain 25
you might want to either a)brush your teeth more than once a day or b) invest in some gum.
xwendifferx 16
That was rude but how bad was your breath that she said that?
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Comments (70)
mohamed_H 21
Maybe she was one of the girls in the 2 girls 1 cup video? :)
Kailayla 29
Someone once kept asking me if I farted. Which was never the case. It turned out to be a cavity.
EyRaB 17
If you brush your teeth already then it could be a sign of a gastrointestinal problem or gum disease. You may want to go see a specialist.
lunaangel 14
or tonsil stones those are unpleasant and smell really bad
UberMom 15
Don't underestimate the power of flossing. This should be part of everyone's daily routine. Food scraps that are lodged in between teeth aren't always brushed out and digestive bacteria in your mouth leave that foul (feces) odor. Next time you floss, give it a sniff when you're done.
DjeePee 25
Whenever my ex was incredible angry, sad or in another state of mental pain, his breath smelled awful. How worse his feelings were, how worse the smell. Could be an interesting case for some doctors, I guess.
thisguy22 33
Is that what the mask is for?
LittleRed79 39
I'd guess it was for the break up.
DjeePee 25
Even I am not creative enough to find a way to kiss with the gas mask on. Sadly.
WCARlover 35
while bad breath can definitely ruin a kiss she definitely should've been nicer about it :p next time go with gum or mints or something OP. And remember, brushing your teeth isn't just something dentists recommend for the fun of it ;p
monkeytater96 23
I actually turned down my boyfriends first kiss cuz his breath was so bad. And his teeth. No shame in NOT throwing up in his mouth.
trevorsw1987 10
Dental hygiene is pretty important and not eating crap definitely helps hey
protoskore 27
and how does she know what shit tastes like?
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
I'm assuming that she was complaining about the smell, not the taste.
UTIGUY 2
brush your teeth more then once a month......