By Anownimous - 18/09/2015 19:51 - United States - San Francisco
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Are you sure it came across as joking? I know we all make mistakes and it happens to all of us - things can just come out wrong and you don't realize it. Either way, that's a bit ridiculous as a course of action for him to take.
Sounds like #2 has spent some time in the real world. Some Jokes need not be made, because they are not funny. If the co-worker had been gay op probably would have been fired outright. I'm also willing to bet OP said it more than once. the co-worker can get laughed out of court unless he has proof that someone other than OP mistreated the co-worker or made comments about him being around children.
A true pedophile is someone that is sexually attracted to prepubescent children, does not believe it is wrong to be attracted to prepubescent children, and doesn't understand why everyone else knows it is wrong. That is why pedophilia is so horrible, and why it is so very wrong to call someone a pedo without proof for any reason.
Well, you're not entirely wrong. He's only aggravated 'cause you spoke the truth.
Actually, a pedophile is someone who is sexually attracted to children who have not gone through puberty yet. So even if 19 wasn't a legal age, or even if she was 15 or 16, he still wouldn't be a pedo. It wouldn't be legal, but that doesn't automatically make it pedophilia.
It might not be a big deal legally, but it definitely is a big deal looking at the power imbalance in the relationship. Anyone who's 50 and has thirty years of adult experience will be in a position to manipulate and take advantage of someone who has been an adult for a year. Besides, what could he want her for other than her body and her lack of experience? They can't have much in common. It's shady as fuck.
Unless the guy is rich, or he's in a position of authority over her, their isn't that much of a power imbalance. I've been in relationships like that (still 23 years between my husband and I) and the older guys are usually more inclined to compromise and maintain a balanced relationship.
He could be the kind of guy that likes to live life in an extreme way and has found that women his age dont want to live life at a break neck pace. Its sad to assume that a person who is 19 years old has nothing to offer besides their body. Im sure she has a personality. She may have grown up with a lot of life experiences. I know 19 year olds that have backpacked across europe, and I know 50 year olds who have not left a 10 mile radius of their birth. Let them live their own lives. .
I find it a bit creepy because he's bragging about her age like it's some sort of trophy. But 19 is when you start to own your decisions and make the fuck-ups you'll learn from later in life, sometimes that involves dating someone many years your senior until you get a bit older and realise you can get what that relationship provided you with in other less wrinkly, creepily braggy places (or decide that person is the one for you!). It's nothing like being a victim of pedophilia.
Actually 94, my husband and I have been together 6 years, and he is 28 years older than me. I was 19 when we met. He was 47. We have a lot in common and we also have no power imbalance in our relationship. He's also not as selfish as most people in my generation are. I also like that he doesn't drink or do drugs like most people my age in my area. He shares his life experiences with me to make me wiser. He convinced me to go to college. He has honestly made me a better person. There are numerous benefits to dating a much older man sometimes. Just because it's not for you does not mean it's inherently wrong, bad, or unhealthy. It's also nothing like pedophilia #2, nor is pedophilia anything to joke about. Those jokes can and do ruin lives.
Tell him that "It's a joke not a penis, so don't take it so hard." If he doesn't laugh a little (at least) at that then your co-worker has no sense of humor.
Well, if they've been dating very long, then technically you'd be correct!!
Well frankly speaking, it is still a dick move to call somebody a pedo straight to his face, even if there is a large age gap between him and his girlfriend.
I dated a guy 8 years older than me once. Were quips made? Of course! But all in good humor. I've never heard of someone wigging out like that over being jokingly called a pedo. I mean the guy kinda set himself up by drawing attention ( "bragging") about the chick being 19! He, not OP, sounds like a tool!
If it's between friends, then it would be seen as an obvious joke (I hope), but he never said this guy he "joked" about was his friend. He only said it's a "coworker", so there's no reason to assume this guy should've known it was a joke. Maybe OP has always been a troublemaker, gossiper, or a dick towards this guy. We don't know and I doubt OP would admit to any of that if it were the case.