Intimacy: Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom...

By badmom - 10/06/2009 18:09 - Canada

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134 942

You deserved it 80 622

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By It was the 11 year old - 21/07/2012 08:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 902

You deserved it 5 030

By Wmsys32pr9 - 30/03/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273 828

You deserved it 30 874

Stunned silence

By Anonymous - 20/12/2014 22:42 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 172

You deserved it 3 901

By KayyElOh94 - 17/10/2014 22:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 713

You deserved it 3 803

By seriouslywtf - 28/04/2009 03:06 - United States

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 357

You deserved it 9 290

By PPP - 28/04/2015 15:05 - United States

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 651

You deserved it 3 327

Stop

By dad - 03/03/2009 22:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 362

You deserved it 83 142

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 580

You deserved it 4 974

By Jess - 30/05/2009 12:48 - United States

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 366

You deserved it 71 826

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:41 - United Kingdom - Oundle

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 376

You deserved it 3 643

GIRAFFES 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 23:03

Wow. I blame public schools? Harrr. :B

amyzerz 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 23:05

What sort of vulgar environment are you raising your kids in? Or is it simply the way our schooling system has come to nowadays... FYL & YDI.

Comments

o76923 8

Wednesday 10 June 2009 23:58

Your kids lives are ******, you deserve it for bad parenting.

Sapphy 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 23:59

that's not right

cheeroxsoxtonz 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 0:00

i wonder who they learned tht from?...

suckerz 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 0:00

holy shit... better parenting in order???

tenukkiut 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 0:01

Use your belt on your kids. Not excessively, though. I grew up being belted and I'm one of the better-behaved people among the people I know.

A7X5989 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 0:03

139 is right

sunshinebaby408 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 0:03

haha give them one more warning an if they do it again BRING OUT THE BELT

finnaaas 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 0:03

Wow, bad parenting? Well not only bad parenting, I remember learning every bad word and stuff from school! You ship shank your kids! lmfaoo.

jocyy96 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 0:03

wow; that is horrible. you are a great parent...really

Me27 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 0:05

Well, all of that would be YOUR fault, and it's a F THEIR lives.

Keywords

Public freakouts Education Parents Mother in law Love Argument AITA Miscellaneous Insects Fear Cats Skincare Health Jealousy Coworkers Work Gross Drugs Dogs Animals Fire Awkward Scams Transportation Cars Money Bikes Scary Neighbours Sex

The Top

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 877

You deserved it 5 658

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation, to find my fiance had cleaned the house top to bottom, and finished three projects he was constantly putting off. I was over the moon, until he said, "Yeah, when you're not nagging me all day, I can actually get shit done. Crazy, huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 655

The Top

Today, I've been waiting for over a year now to get my 2019 tax refund. I did mess up and underreported 2 grand initially. I resent everything as soon as I realized what I'd done, and I'm expecting a nice chunk of change and can't file my 2020 taxes until this is sorted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 228

Today, my girlfriend and I tried to have sex in the shower. While trying to support her weight, as we got into things, I slipped backwards on the wet floor and fell through the Pyrex side of the shower, with her crashing down on me. I now have bits of Pyrex in my back and have to replace the shower side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 959

You deserved it 851

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 273

You deserved it 3 172

Today, my phone provider informed me that I had 12 messages waiting for me on my voicemail. Happy to have friends, I listened with a smile. All of them were from my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 71

Today, my employer fired me, less than a week before I could become permanent full-time staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 102

Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 926

You deserved it 28 344

Same thing different taste

Stunned silence

Stop

Top comments

Comments