Love: Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this...

By Owned - 29/01/2009 00:32 - Taiwan

Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 928

You deserved it 28 359

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Same thing different taste

By Bliss - 09/02/2009 18:24 - United States

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 014

You deserved it 5 916

By Anonymous - 03/12/2011 02:02 - United Kingdom

Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 845

You deserved it 4 744

By oddbrien - 13/12/2016 03:34 - United States - Baltimore

Today, while at the club, I started dancing with a girl who I had noticed throughout the night. When she turned around she firmly stated, "I'd much rather dance by myself". FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 516

You deserved it 4 377

By 0ptimu5 - 11/09/2009 04:39 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 695

You deserved it 43 472

By ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - 24/05/2014 00:09 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 324

You deserved it 3 408

Don't even try

By divingconfidence - 22/12/2012 11:21 - United States - Maple Grove

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 722

You deserved it 4 795

By jailey - 26/07/2016 02:26

Today, my friend decided that we should go clubbing together to "catch up". Her version of catching up is me standing beside her making out with some random dude in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 647

You deserved it 1 290

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 21:28 - United States

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 540

You deserved it 3 197

Shut up

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 20:00

Today, a girl came up to me on a club dance floor and said, “Shut up and dance with me,” like the song lyrics, only I fell over on her while dancing, and she dislocated her ankle. I don’t think this woman is gonna be my destiny after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 344

Misleading

By KL. - 05/06/2009 19:46 - Canada

Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 505

You deserved it 5 016

Addy_fml_fml 0

Friday 20 February 2009 6:56

you deserve it on two accounts: 1) going to clubs. 2) sandwiching girls thinking it's going to get you any.

CodySmith 0

Friday 30 October 2009 8:06

Wow, so did you ever think that she might not want some guy humping her ass while she's trying to dance someone?

Comments

Addy_fml_fml 0

Friday 20 February 2009 6:56

you deserve it on two accounts: 1) going to clubs. 2) sandwiching girls thinking it's going to get you any.

JennaWenna 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 7:10

Thanks #1. That's the first thing that popped into my head when I read this.

pharaohasphuck 10

Friday 19 December 2014 1:43

What did number 1 say? It does not show on my screen.

pewp 5

Thursday 12 March 2009 0:53

i agree with #6

Trooth 13

Sunday 22 March 2009 1:26

I agree with #5

drplat 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 19:46

Btw ur a douchebag above and beyond others

kayleighcontrol 7

Monday 20 July 2009 16:09

Owch. **** your life, ********.

CodySmith 0

Friday 30 October 2009 8:06

Wow, so did you ever think that she might not want some guy humping her ass while she's trying to dance someone?

Giorgio272 2

Saturday 27 February 2010 15:53

damn you got a small dick. that is all.

pepsie_fml 0

Sunday 11 April 2010 20:07

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

justuninterested 0

Friday 30 April 2010 20:16

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

anyav3 13

Saturday 8 September 2012 16:21

Wtf?

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Parenting Kids Family Cats DIY Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Transportation ADHD Dogs Animals Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 713

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

The Top

Today, after an argument, my boyfriend called me a fart knocker and gave me a wedgie. Apparently, I'm dating an 10-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 598

You deserved it 1 059

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 845

You deserved it 48 886

Today, and for a long time, I've had a phobia of schools. I'm extremely stressed out about starting in a new school. Normal, right? Yes, except that I'm the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 491

You deserved it 10 973

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 685

You deserved it 2 118

Today, when I tried to play my new Switch, my girlfriend yelled at me to "put down the damn video games." I've barely had five minutes to use this thing without her bitching at me. The worst part? She gave it to me, for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 144

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 442

You deserved it 65 830

Same thing different taste

Don't even try

Shut up

Misleading

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