Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I was rushing around like a lunatic trying to get my shit together and knocked on my son's door a few times. The fourth time I did it, he shouted at me to just fuck off already because he’s trying to have a wank. Oops, and TMI son, TMI. FML
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Top comments
GIRAFFES 0
Wow. I blame public schools? Harrr. :B
amyzerz 0
What sort of vulgar environment are you raising your kids in? Or is it simply the way our schooling system has come to nowadays... FYL & YDI.
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Comments (880)
aback 5
Goody for you! You've just discovered something about your kids that everyone else around them probably already knows.
flyingpan8 0
wow. sucks to be your kids man..
alex_vik 1
My parents would kill me if I said "damn" in front of them, and I'm 15. What the **** are you doing as a parent?
koda_fml 0
You have such lovely children.
d805 0
"he's 8 and he's already at it ... does that even pleasure him?" I'm guessing most of you have never taken a decent sex ed class. Even infants play with their genitals - there are a lot of nerve endings in that area and stimulating them feels good. It's not as if when you grow up you suddenly have a bunch of new nerve endings that didnt exist before... you're born with them.
edster9 0
Well, you're daughter should let him jack off. Wouldn't it be too small? And he can't cum... And hooray for little kids using strong language. =]
Howdyplz 2
To all you blaming it on either the parents or the school, I'll set this straight by saying it's a combination of both. It's most likely the OP's kids are learning the language at school, but it's the parents fault as well for not letting them know that that isn't acceptable language to use.. You should sit them down for a little talk ASAP.
kytie63 0
Lmaoooooo. I Wish When I Have Kids They Are This Funny. =)
plexico 4
#48 That's actually Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, but on that song, they do sound kind of like the Dead.
fillmyheart028 0
favorite.