Work: Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that...

By Anonymous - 23/05/2013 01:57 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 356

You deserved it 4 761

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Same thing different taste

By zl5 - 04/07/2014 23:17 - New Zealand - Masterton

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 114

You deserved it 4 843

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 15:34 - United States - Pomona

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 196

You deserved it 2 571

Contempt

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 21:59 - United States - Richmond

Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 421

You deserved it 1 583

By mustanggt - 10/07/2012 15:39 - United States - La Porte

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 849

You deserved it 31 204

By apav - 11/06/2009 11:52 - Australia

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 889

You deserved it 24 406

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 21:15 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 519

You deserved it 4 237

Fake news

By Anonymous - 18/07/2014 20:04 - Cura?ao

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 332

You deserved it 3 456

Bad boys bad boys

By Tom - 17/08/2011 18:27 - United States

Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 439

You deserved it 108 466

By chieftain - 09/05/2012 19:34 - Norway - T?nsberg

Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 249

You deserved it 5 693

By Dreamer - 03/07/2012 06:22 - United States - Castro Valley

Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 665

You deserved it 3 819

Sir_ND_Pity 35

Thursday 23 May 2013 9:52

I say let him try it. He'll see how far his swag will take him. Life lessons.

BananaDildo 1

Thursday 23 May 2013 9:52

McDonalds is now accepting graduates from Swag University. Maybe he'll get in.

Comments

iChompYa 18

Thursday 23 May 2013 13:08

Please just let him go to jail, we don't need his idiocy on our streets

RavenDesired 10

Thursday 23 May 2013 13:10

Swag means secretly we are gay.

lexi365 20

Thursday 23 May 2013 13:15

Faith in Humanity: -10

Trigabyte 8

Thursday 23 May 2013 13:55

Total Faith in Humanity count = -6296001910

MCPRO2014 6

Thursday 23 May 2013 13:30

No everybody, it's OK. This is in Canada.

rattusrattus 18

Thursday 23 May 2013 13:38

"As a rule, young ragamuffin, one gains 'swag' following a robbery. However I am very pleased that you have decided to show us your 'swag'. I shall allow it as evidence, and thank you for streamlining the court procedure."

katiecf22 2

Thursday 23 May 2013 13:50

The fact that you're not acknowledging "swag" as a sound legal defense must mean you're racist. I wonder, how did he get arrested? Could "County Law" not see swag?