Miscellaneous: Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was... - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 3

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 97

Spicy

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 72

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 37

23/05/2013 05:11

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 225

You deserved it 3 401

Our house, in the middle of our street

Leave me alone

Postman Pat

01/10/2010 16:55

Today, I started my first day of work. I was told to absorb everything going on and to get used to the high-paced flow of things. I've been sitting at my desk for two hours now, and the office has been empty since I've walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 183

You deserved it 2 969

31/12/2008 18:03

Today, the incredibly handsome, talented, hilarious, and intelligent man that I've fallen head over heels like no other for is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 627

You deserved it 4 355

22/12/2011 17:26

Spicy

Today, I started undressing in front of my boyfriend. He politely said, "Excuse me, please" because I was blocking the T.V. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 924

You deserved it 7 944

Valid reason

By stephhh055 - 21/10/2019 16:00

Spicy

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 330

You deserved it 237

18/06/2016 17:43

Today, I felt cold while driving, so I blasted the heat. The one thing I didn't expect was a load of tiny spiders spilling out of the vents and writhing all over my dash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 038

You deserved it 946

Help!

By Krissy - 01/04/2021 19:59

Today, at work on the front desk at a dental office, there was a massive system glitch. I'm now currently recreating appointments for around 300 patients, on top of checking out the patients that are currently in today from their appointments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 52

17/02/2010 20:18

Today, I noticed that my ceiling was sagging slightly. I got up on to a chair to look at it more closely, and I touched it. Turns out that my ceiling was full of water. It went everywhere, ruining my new iPod, phone, and all the things my daughter bought for university. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 773

You deserved it 4 891

26/07/2014 16:29

Today, I went back to work after a vacation, only to find out I'll soon be forced to dress up as one of the princesses from Frozen to promote our store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 691

You deserved it 6 435

24/02/2010 14:18

Today, I was very sick, and my boyfriend was taking care of me at his parents' house. I was laying on the couch, innocently watching a movie while he rubbed my feet, when his stepmother came home from work. She freaked out, accused us of having it off on her couch, and kicked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 537

You deserved it 2 572

04/05/2012 07:19

Today, my fiancé and I appeared in the paper for obtaining our marriage license. In the same column half way down his parents appeared for filing their marriage dissolution petition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 537

You deserved it 1 986

11/01/2011 09:43

Today, as I'm pregnant, my mom came over to do some nice things for me, such as clean my kitchen and cook a large pot of my favorite soup. When she left, I took a nap, planning to eat later. I woke up to find my roommates had trashed my kitchen and eaten all my soup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 461

You deserved it 4 423

Lowered expectations

By dac5 - 12/04/2020 05:00

Today, I was told that couldn’t become assistant manager of my job anymore. I already told my family I was going to be one, and they'd all said how proud of me they were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 339

29/12/2011 18:39

Today, I came home and told my mom that I got the lead in the school musical, which I was very happy about. She pulled me into a hug then said, "But you know you can't really sing, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 850

You deserved it 3 045

16/02/2010 11:51

Today, my husband told me to hold out my hand. He opened his, and in mine dropped a giant mutant tooth he had pulled a few months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 496

You deserved it 2 692

18/07/2015 06:01

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 141

You deserved it 9 722

09/09/2015 02:00

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 755

You deserved it 3 056

06/07/2019 00:30

Spicy

Today, I realised just how lazy I am, when I was about to masturbate, but decided not to because I didn't want to put in the effort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 1 595

11/10/2009 00:30

Today, my oldest son answered my phone call much to my surprise as we haven't spoken in a year. The first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't mean to pick up the phone." He then hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 351

You deserved it 8 918

31/07/2010 23:31

Spicy

Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 786

You deserved it 3 946

16/02/2011 23:16

Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 561

You deserved it 67 836

15/04/2011 11:38

Today, my husband of 30 years told me that he thought we should 'just be friends'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 078

You deserved it 4 741

06/12/2010 19:11

Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 297

You deserved it 39 668

07/07/2009 21:29

Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill on the floor and my dog ate it. The good news is, I startled her and she spit it right out. The bad news is, I still had to take it after it had been in my dog's mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 878

You deserved it 19 664

Frenemies

By Anonymous - 16/06/2021 08:01

Today, I found out that the person who I considered my best friend actually hates my guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 76

09/10/2012 16:07

Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 378

You deserved it 2 145

08/03/2009 18:10

Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They decided it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 945

You deserved it 4 943

01/03/2010 05:13

Spicy

Today, after ten minutes of squishing my boobs together for my boyfriend, trying to get him to stare, he glanced at them then blankly said "I've seen better tits on my mom, so baby just stop that" and smiled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 159

You deserved it 7 350

10/12/2015 13:27

Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 857

You deserved it 2 461

30/09/2010 02:57

Today, I started a new job. I lost my work keys and had everyone running all over the building looking for them. We found them, hanging in the last lock I had used. They now all think I'm a nut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 551

You deserved it 26 154

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

By hippie88 - 05/10/2019 04:00

Today, I figured out why I've used triple the amount of cellphone minutes than I usually do over the past month since moving out. Is it because I suddenly have a social life now that I'm living on my own? No. All those calls were made to my mom because I'm lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 297

You deserved it 310

10/07/2019 04:09

Spicy

Today, I wanted to be on top during sex, after always being on the bottom. Afterwards, he said, "You're never riding me like that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 316

16/11/2011 05:27

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 266

You deserved it 7 582

27/12/2009 22:25

Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 040

You deserved it 14 319

16/02/2012 16:26

Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet and my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 689

You deserved it 4 303

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 643

Who you gonna call?

By Anonymous - 17/10/2020 02:02

Today, I couldn't enter my workplace because I haven't gotten the new keycard yet. I ended up having to wait outside for close to an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 126

21/02/2016 17:10

Today, I was starting a new job and I didn't want to be late, so I took a train that left earlier than normal, just to make sure I'd be on time. Turns out, the earlier train wasn't an express train, and made it to my stop 12 minutes after my usual one did. I was late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 321

You deserved it 4 456

12/03/2012 04:28

Today, on my way to work, I had to squeeze by a man sitting in a large truck parked next to my car. I was in a bit of a hurry and in my rush the collar of my shirt got caught on his grill. My shirt ripped and I flashed the guy my entire boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 824

You deserved it 4 518

31/05/2009 17:34

Spicy

Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 442

You deserved it 13 074

15/11/2012 01:04

Today, I started at my first job. Within the first five minutes of arriving, I was followed around by a white guy who repeatedly sang to me, "Black people love making music" along with a few of his own songs. It resulted in me getting fired for bringing my "boyfriend" to work. I didn't even know him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 046

You deserved it 2 005

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Thursday 23 May 2013 12:07

Life is full of ups and downs. At least you are temporarilly stable right now. FYL anyways.

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Thursday 23 May 2013 12:05

Lol that's funny but who ever did that is a jerk. Hopefully you weren't stuck to long on the elevator op

Comments

laurenlovesjb 20

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Thursday 23 May 2013 12:01

It's ok OP someone will help you soon! Did you press the emergency button?

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Thursday 23 May 2013 17:29

Whoever was messing with OP has a great sense of humor!

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Thursday 23 May 2013 20:12

Is it bad that I just thumbed you down because of your name and JB profile picture?

BellaBelle_fml 23

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Thursday 23 May 2013 22:50

33, and anyone else who thumbs laurenlovesjb down simply because of her profile photo and name, she commented a while back addressing this subject stating the reasoning behind her support. Correct me if I am mistaken in the details, Lauren, but as I recall it's because she is battling cancer and he came to visit her while she was in hospital. She said that she was not really a big fan of his prior to his visiting her, but he encouraged her so much that she now supports him.

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Friday 24 May 2013 4:38

An appropriate response from a bieber fan..

BellaBelle_fml 23

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Friday 24 May 2013 7:45

I am not a Bieber fan. I am, however, a fan of thumbing comments up or down according to their content rather than according to the person making the comment, their profile photo, or their account name.

qr_fml 21

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Thursday 23 May 2013 12:05

Lol that's funny but who ever did that is a jerk. Hopefully you weren't stuck to long on the elevator op

toughchick14 15

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Thursday 23 May 2013 12:05

Well don't worry you will get out soon enough hopefully soon enough for you to go hunt down that jerk with a twisted sense of humor!

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Thursday 23 May 2013 12:07

Life is full of ups and downs. At least you are temporarilly stable right now. FYL anyways.

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Thursday 23 May 2013 12:08

I guess that wasn't the lift you needed.

pistachiopanda 19

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Thursday 23 May 2013 12:10

Elevator music for an extended period of time.. Fyl.

mattyiscool123 26

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Friday 24 May 2013 5:05

There usually isn't elevator music in elevators just the sound of the fan

pistachiopanda 19

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Friday 24 May 2013 23:02

Yes that makes sense. Calling it elevator music was a trick the music industry used to make people THINK they would hear said music in elevators. Thank you for clearing that awkward situation up for me!

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Thursday 23 May 2013 12:16

It could be worse OP. The voice could have said "Hi, ma name is Schrödinger. Is my cat in there with you?".

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Thursday 23 May 2013 12:59

it could have been me, "i want to play a game."

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Thursday 23 May 2013 13:02

You are correct 16. It could be even worse than what I initially imagined. Well played.

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:56

What is that a reference to?

RedPillSucks 31

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Thursday 23 May 2013 19:54

I'm guessing "Saw" thought I haven't "saw" the movie.... Yuk yuk!

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Thursday 23 May 2013 12:20

What an asshole !

oj101 33

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Thursday 23 May 2013 12:23

Let's just hope the elevator cord doesn't snap. Oh wait... I'm probably not helping am I?

bamagrl410 31

Thursday 23 May 2013 20:07

10 - My worst fear is being stuck in an elevator, mostly for that reason. If someone pranked me like this I'd probably have a panic attack.

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Friday 24 May 2013 0:50

32 - Elevators are pretty safe nowadays. You've got 4 to 8 cables, each of which can support the elevator solo. And they generally have fail safe brakes on the tracks, as well. You might wanna take the stairs if the buildings 6 stories or less. Then it could be a hydraulic elevator, and when they fail, they fail hard.

bamagrl410 31

Wednesday 29 May 2013 9:17

6 stories or less, you say? Stairs it is.

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Thursday 23 May 2013 12:28

Guess it's the stairs for you from now on OP, learn to love them. On the plus side after a while you can build up enough leg strength to kick that guys ass.