That's why it's on FML.

Hey, my cousin had to clean up her husbands puke on the deck, and it had 2 whole hot dogs in it. Shit happens.

You are riding a horse in a pool...I have now seen everything

On the beach actually.

Don't kill this for me

Alright? Hey, if you want it to be a pool, it's a pool.

There IS a God!!

16- that is a cool pic actually. 28- Not meaning to stalk, but HOLY SHIT, you died twice?!? On a more FML oriented note, that shit is nasty, but pretty funny if you think about it. I mean what would you do? I'd laugh my ass off.

18- What I thought was the side of the pool is actually a giant cruise ship in the ocean. Don't feel bad.

I was announced legally dead twice. once after my father tried to kill me as a baby and 2nd time when I pushed my brother out of the way of a car and took the hit instead

43-I want to thumb up your comment because it's inspiring, but I feel like an asshole "liking" the fact that you've died twice. I'm in a pickle here..

glad you're still here 43 :)

43 - How are you legally dead as opposed to illegally dead? That word is not necessary in there, however, good job on your heroics on saving your brother, if only that car had hit you harder.

51- you should leave and never come back, don't be a dick...

OP I think 2 is hinting for you to kill him

47 idk how to help you 48 thank you 55 lol

67- wow, its a wonder you're alive! You're very lucky :)

67- Dude you're like Wonder Woman or something. What a badass haha. Nah but seriously, it's cool that youre alive. You must have a good reason to be here I guess :)

**** that bullshit; pissing on the carpet due to being a drunk asshat is grounds for divorce.

Bethyc4 your life is like the movie Final Destination

Lol more like Kenny from south park. "I can't die"

In sickness and in health

You must have a very important purpose

Ya taking care of everyone around me. I'm trying to get to school to be a nurse.

Aha! OP's name is Carpet cleaner. :)

Ricky you got a lot of explaining to do!!!

I was once too drunk to make it to the toilet so I used a coke can to vomit in. Not one of my finer moments, but it happens.

54 you are only 18? I hope you're talking about getting drunk on koolaid

I don't really like Kool-aid. Unless it's the grape flavor, that kind is delicious. I much prefer Hawaiian Punch.

"I wasn't THAT drunk!"

In Australia pissed means drunk In USA pissed means mad So technically weren't they both pissed? :3

I guess that's what you call... *Puts on sunglasses* Piss Drunk! **** yeah!

In canada it means both

Not in all of Canada. If someone came up to me and told me they were pissed i would assume theyre angry.

It is better to be pissed off, than pissed on.

unless you're into that kinda thing..

Disgusting

maybe meant discussing

So the guy wouldn't be allowed to go with his friends anymore? You're crazy

Maybe a better way to handle it would be. "Honey, you kept me up all night and then peed on the floor. If you are going to go out with buddies, could you either not drink so much or stay over at their house until you are sober. If its going to be late you might as well stay out the rest of the night so one of us could sleep."

How on earth do you think you will stop an adult from going somewhere with his friends

You can't lol

You can't lol

So you pissed on some woman's child and is constantly being reminded of the Golden Shower you did to the boy? Are you R. Kelly?

A_TEEN, we've had our issues in the past, but I couldn't help but laugh at your comment.

Punctuation. The more you know..