I lift the front of my shirt and sneeze into it. unless I'm phlegmy, in which case I'd have tissues available

did you get her number?

how did that smell?

you were crop dusting in her ass cheeks.

OP- YDI for putting your nose where it doesn't belong. See what I did there? :D

Sounds revolting. Nothing makes a meal even more melancholy like having a face full of Earth-monkey ass. Not that I would know. Robots don't eat. Thank God. I would find the process dull and tedious, much like anything else one can do in this universe. I'm not bringing you down, am I? Good. I must admit that I marvel at the futility of avoiding sneezing into everyone's food; you know the restaurant staff already polluted it in other ways before they served you, right? Life. Don't talk to me about life.

That's not a FML. If she was hot it was worth it.

Ortega, you ******* retard, that is NOT what cropdusting means. As someone who trolls IRL by cropdusting crowded areas, I demand you get your definition of cropdusting correct.

How do you have to "sneeze really bad"... as compared to just "having to sneeze"? Maybe it's just me, but my sneezes are always the same.

was the waitress hot?

yes. I see what you did there.

y us this an fml? unless the waitress was ugly?

was she at least good looking?

Marvin I'm in love with you.

Maybe op is a girl, so thus I can see the fml.

ooh lala

sexy!

and this is a FML because?

Good thing no one was talking to you to begin with then, now isn't it? talk about futile attempts...

little bit of brown nosing?

better to cover with your elbow because if you sneeze into your hand you have germs on your hands which means once you shake hands/greet someone they will contact with the germs resulting them to maybe get sick etc etc

lmao

stfu

stupid Asian bitch. stfu

agreed

Shut up **** wit

OP is such a nosy ass

no no no, the waitress is.

maybe OP is a girl

Lesbian assplay? Hot!

yeah really! this should be the waitresses fml! "I was working as a waitress one night and I was serving these rich people! I knew they would give me a huge tip so I actedvery nice and gave them everything they wanted. then some guy stuck his head up my ass and mad me apill food all over my customers!!!

I was thinking the same thing. Since when are asses face leveled at resturants? Oh and btw OP, cover your sneeze. You're spreading germs!

she's standing he's sitting dumb ass.

If it was a mega sneeze he could have collapsed forward as he did it. I like thinking of it that way because it's a much funnier visual. Him just diving nose first into ass.

umm I'm 5th and my face is assheight me sitting them standing all the tine

5ft* time* stupid iPod ._.

well 5' isn't rly tall. actually it is pretty short (no offense) and op is rly lucky!

he was probably sitting down. you know, at a table? which restaurants have many of..

actually 5th is only about three inches below the avg height for girls

avg hieght for women is 5'6" and guys r 5'8"

He redefined "brown nosing"

win !

fml is full of RWJ viewers..

WIN

#44 Yeah, it's getting a bit annoying with everyone just copying him.

#101 yea hut you have to admit he's a really funny guy :D

More like suprise Nose-Butt-Secks

LMFAO, win!