By NYMTS - 01/07/2011 23:22 - Australia

Today, I had to make a deal with my 22 year old fiancé. What was the deal? If he put deodorant on, he could squeeze my boob for as long as he liked. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 410
You deserved it 10 931

Same thing different taste

Top comments

1 percent inspiration, 99 percent perspiration.


1 percent inspiration, 99 percent perspiration.

If that was the deal, I would throw in shower, brushing teeth and brushing my hair. Not that I would always do them, of course.

whybother8 0

he shouldn't have just settled for squeezinf boobies.. he should've negotiated for more :p

Lumenoire 0

2 for 1 deal would've been better.

MrFlintstone 5

next ops gonna make erotic coupons only redeemable during sex

adropofpeace 8

So he felt you up AND he smelled good while doing it... I'm sorry, what's the problem here?

This guy's a genius. He's having his wife do what he wants by choosing to not put on deodorant.

stfu about weed, no one gives a shit about you ruining your life with a f***in green plant.

pwincessa23 1

188, who's talking about weed?

a_nutritionist 10

the fml is his, that despite being engaged he still needs to request allocated time to touch your chest. poor bastard. do you make him beg for sex too? im guessing hes gotta perform 3 hours of foreplay, do a dance, serenade you and buy you a ring before he gets a ******* too. im guessing youve got a lot of rings...

ImaWiseGuy 5

idk 2, not smelling like a sour asshole should be inspiration enough...

purplefatmidget 0

188 No one is talking about weed dumbass.

vergaso 0

224 -imawiseguy your ****** up..... either your armpit smells like asshole or shove deodorant up your asshole

@188 And they ask what's wrong with weed

getting married at 22 is stupid. ydi for not waiting until you are both a bit older.

MC18 0

that awkward moment when your husbands a loser...

Am i the only one who noticed what is in #214's picture??

minecraft_fml 4
HelloNoora1 0

188 weed is better than alcohol and cigarettes and they're legal!

tweetbaby14 18

40, your comment made me think of the movie you don't mess with the zohan. "you settled for a pee-pee touch?"

254 no it's perfectly fine, my bro got married when he was like 23-24 and the girl was 22 and they are happily married with 3 kids and I know they got a good sex life cuz shes gettin pregnant every year!

Vash_41288 10
yummycupkake 0

is him taking a shower for a BJ another deal too? is that ring really worth waking up to a filthy person everyday lol

sounds like a pretty damn good deal to me

Lauren10102 3

No #1, not sucking, just squeezing.

garrettsgirl 0

r u still gonna marry him?? what if u have to make deals like that for the rest life?

mcgugs 0

That..squeezes? ... Nah. doesn't really roll of the tongue, does it..

KingGeorgeGal 12

Laugh and say ,'Here's another deal; If you finally put deodorant on and maintain a healthy hygiene and I MIGHT consider not leaving your filthy ass'

how does it suck???? I mean girls might not act like it but at least in my case the nit liking it is a game. but I have to admit it feels extra good. ps I'm not a ho!

KingGeorgeGal 12

So you look like your not even 15 yet and guys are feeling you up and you're trying to say you're not a ho, yeah. Right.

see that's exactly y we pretend... so u don't look like a ho. Iran I know u would like it if there was a similar offer to u!

KingGeorgeGal 12

Hunny, it has happened to me. In a committed relationship for over 6 months at an appropriate age. I wouldn't let just any guy feel MY body just because they 'offered.'

6 months!?!?!?! now thts way to long to wait just for boobs!!!! and honey, If I wasn't supposed to let people touch them I wouldn't hve any

ryukk_fml 3

Why did you feel the need to clarify and defend? I.e. "im not a ho." Paranoid much?

KingGeorgeGal 12

You do know what they are really for? Right? Not to ***** around and let guys feels them. You OBVIOUSLY don't love your body an yourself if you are willing to give it up like that.

ryukk_fml 3

Correction, as thus proved, samy, you ARE a ho.

no not just any guy silly!!!!!!!! gosh u have such low expectations of me.

KingGeorgeGal 12

No, just a REALLY bad first impression, which is proving to be true.

KingGeorgeGal 12

Do you REALLY have to ask?!?

I hate it when girls say "honey/hunny" on the internet to refer someone it makes me want to leave this sit.

KingGeorgeGal 12

And you know what feels EXTRA good, is waiting for the right guy to do that stuff with. It makes both of you feel special and it honestly feels better than any other guy. It feels good to know that the guy loves for you and not your body. That is why I waiting 6 months and suggest you should too.

ryukk_fml 3

Have you read ANYTHING you have posted?!? Seriously? Wow.

KingGeorgeGal 12

113: Who are you referring to?

yeah ok. and I know if a guy likes me it's not for my body..... it looks just like anyone elses! :)

can both of you please stop arguing, especially in response to the first comment go to a private chatroom or something.

101- yeah guys not just ANY guy. only a guy she goes out with, let's him feel her, she dumps him, and is on to the next one within a week... You obviously have a problem and want people to do that so you don't feel insecure, but the more you say, the more you sound like a ho.

but it's un to argue with strangers!!!!!

KingGeorgeGal 12

Yeah, it's for sluttyness(: Have fun knowing guys only like you because what you will give them and not for YOU.

63, you spell like a ho, since that was one of the few words I understood in that sentence.

guys stop picking on sammy it just sounds like you have no life and have to resort to "bullying" people via the internet.

KingGeorgeGal 12

Bye Sammy, sorry if I offended you in any way I'm just trying to help you out in life so you don't end up working corners, sorry I failed.

alright fine but she is being kinda harsh

ryukk_fml 3

King- refering to sam, how can one possibly need an explaination after saying what she has said on how it makes her sound like a ho. Honestly. Sam youll be safer with your mouth closed and I mean that for more than just your words.

KingGeorgeGal 12

Thanks 133! & I'm not trying to be harsh. Obviously her parents haven't talked to her WELL enough if she thinks that letting guys feel her up is alright, I'm just trying to help her.

Also, if you do open your mouth, a dictionary and auto spell check would be nice.

ryukk_fml 3

Just stating how you worded things does not look good on your behalf.

I preffer girls.... just saying looks like ur very quick to judge Missy!

KingGeorgeGal 12

So you are a lesbian? What does that change. You still shouldn't be giving your boy away like that.

muahahahaha u silly just know that I'll be waiting!!!!!! lol that sounds weird and ya well u r silly silly silt and I don't feel like being silly anymore so I quit' I lie u catch me hehehehe but I'm the end I still won!

ryukk_fml 3

Excuse me. I must have read you all wrong. You are an ignorant, confused, remedial ho. Pardon my confusion. Have fun with your life and your body that will continuously be a wasteland for all those who just got sick of squeezing one out alone.

silly girl I am a guy not a lesbian I just happen to have boobs too!

Either you transformed from a ho to a fail troll, or you really need to take my advise and go buy that dictionary. Now that I think about it, both ways, you need the dictionary.

FreshPairOfNikes 0

Sammy, just shut the **** up.

Zaira921 7

I think it's time to reconsider your engagement. :/

salvorican 24

But then how is she ever gonna get him to wear deodorant?? The man needs the inspiration lol

iSitt 0

that's ok. after the wedding, while he gets smellier, you'll get fatter. "circle of life" etc.

well I know what I'm gonna do when I'm older,

TinyDude 10

can i have the deal instead?

little95_fml 0

I think 188 was on weed o.o

cenax27 0

I would too;) but I'm just saying the fact he's 22 years old and needs inspiration just to put on deodorant is pretty sad, but boobs are a nice inspiration!(:

Wouldn't you rather massage than squeeze though?

this is a win win situation for the guy he gets to squeeze boobs as long as he wants n he smells goos

cjcstuart 7

55 - um... do YOU like squeezing breasts? if so: 1. is it because of your lacking of breasts? if not: Call me!

it seems hygiene has gone out of the window for the 21st century but props for knowing every man's weakness

OceanBreathesSal 5

I thought every man's weakness was a bj?

She's working her way to it, if he stops showering she will have to step it up a notch.

Also, "he could squeeze my boob" why not both of them? Or does OP only have one?

hope there isn't a al Qaeda member in FML or they will most likely to kill u when they saw this me change it quick.(Al Qaeda = osama gang)

lexxiii 17

He probably would never stop squeezing with that deal

FiestaInMyPants 8
ComaStance 0

Something doesn't smell right....