Today, I had to make a deal with my 22 year old fiancé. What was the deal? If he put deodorant on, he could squeeze my boob for as long as he liked. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML
Today, I had to stop my 26 year old fiancé from picking his nose and eating it like a little boy. Three times. FML
Today, I had to tell my 30 year-old boyfriend to take a shower, or else he won't for a week. FML
Today, my boyfriend's farts got so bad that we made a deal: every day that he doesn't fart, he gets a blowjob. Suddenly, he's not letting gas out anymore. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML
Today, I had to use anti-perspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML
Today, I had to use antiperspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend had bought me sexy lingerie for our anniversary. However, they're for for a bigger bust. When I asked if I could return it for the right size, he asked me to get a boob job to fit the bra instead. FML
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Top comments
PFiddy 0
all the inspiration a guy needs
srhshl 9
1 percent inspiration, 99 percent perspiration.
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Comments (189)
PFiddy 0
all the inspiration a guy needs
srhshl 9
1 percent inspiration, 99 percent perspiration.
CryMoreFMLs 14
If that was the deal, I would throw in shower, brushing teeth and brushing my hair. Not that I would always do them, of course.
knights95 9
and 100 percent masturbation.
whybother8 0
he shouldn't have just settled for squeezinf boobies.. he should've negotiated for more :p
whybother8 0
squeezing*
Lumenoire 0
2 for 1 deal would've been better.
MrFlintstone 5
next ops gonna make erotic coupons only redeemable during sex
adropofpeace 8
So he felt you up AND he smelled good while doing it... I'm sorry, what's the problem here?
Jacobt24 19
This guy's a genius. He's having his wife do what he wants by choosing to not put on deodorant.
alexgood 2
hahaah funny as
agummere796 0
stfu about weed, no one gives a shit about you ruining your life with a f***in green plant.
pwincessa23 1
188, who's talking about weed?
Newboyz00185 0
Smart man.
dwreck69 0
nicee!!
a_nutritionist 10
the fml is his, that despite being engaged he still needs to request allocated time to touch your chest. poor bastard. do you make him beg for sex too? im guessing hes gotta perform 3 hours of foreplay, do a dance, serenade you and buy you a ring before he gets a ******* too. im guessing youve got a lot of rings...
ImaWiseGuy 5
idk 2, not smelling like a sour asshole should be inspiration enough...
purplefatmidget 0
188 No one is talking about weed dumbass.
vergaso 0
224 -imawiseguy your ****** up..... either your armpit smells like asshole or shove deodorant up your asshole
yahoowizard 16
@188 And they ask what's wrong with weed
heyy17 10
well it's a win-win situation
LaUruguaya 11
getting married at 22 is stupid. ydi for not waiting until you are both a bit older.
MC18 0
that awkward moment when your husbands a loser...
lynxic18 7
Am i the only one who noticed what is in #214's picture??
theaws0m3guy 4
258- hahahahaha woww good eye
minecraft_fml 4
just one boob?
HelloNoora1 0
188 weed is better than alcohol and cigarettes and they're legal!
tweetbaby14 18
40, your comment made me think of the movie you don't mess with the zohan. "you settled for a pee-pee touch?"
MissBoo111 21
254 no it's perfectly fine, my bro got married when he was like 23-24 and the girl was 22 and they are happily married with 3 kids and I know they got a good sex life cuz shes gettin pregnant every year!
Vash_41288 10
my kinda gal lol
CaligurlLULU 0
sexy.
Immatheprez 0
no your sexy
dabus 2
true dat
TheNicce01 14
?rape face
Melissarawr 0
Umm ew . That sucks . FYL.
yummycupkake 0
is him taking a shower for a BJ another deal too? is that ring really worth waking up to a filthy person everyday lol
TheCrazyAli28 1
sounds like a pretty damn good deal to me
XXscenekidXX209 0
agreed, thats is some nasty shizz /:
Caxin 0
Um yummy!
Lauren10102 3
No #1, not sucking, just squeezing.
garrettsgirl 0
r u still gonna marry him?? what if u have to make deals like that for the rest life?
mcgugs 0
That..squeezes? ... Nah. doesn't really roll of the tongue, does it..
KingGeorgeGal 12
Laugh and say ,'Here's another deal; If you finally put deodorant on and maintain a healthy hygiene and I MIGHT consider not leaving your filthy ass'
samammynanny 0
how does it suck???? I mean girls might not act like it but at least in my case the nit liking it is a game. but I have to admit it feels extra good. ps I'm not a ho!
KingGeorgeGal 12
So you look like your not even 15 yet and guys are feeling you up and you're trying to say you're not a ho, yeah. Right.
samammynanny 0
see that's exactly y we pretend... so u don't look like a ho. Iran I know u would like it if there was a similar offer to u!
KingGeorgeGal 12
Hunny, it has happened to me. In a committed relationship for over 6 months at an appropriate age. I wouldn't let just any guy feel MY body just because they 'offered.'
samammynanny 0
6 months!?!?!?! now thts way to long to wait just for boobs!!!! and honey, If I wasn't supposed to let people touch them I wouldn't hve any
ryukk_fml 3
Why did you feel the need to clarify and defend? I.e. "im not a ho." Paranoid much?
KingGeorgeGal 12
You do know what they are really for? Right? Not to ***** around and let guys feels them. You OBVIOUSLY don't love your body an yourself if you are willing to give it up like that.
ryukk_fml 3
Correction, as thus proved, samy, you ARE a ho.
samammynanny 0
no not just any guy silly!!!!!!!! gosh u have such low expectations of me.
KingGeorgeGal 12
No, just a REALLY bad first impression, which is proving to be true.
samammynanny 0
how
KingGeorgeGal 12
Do you REALLY have to ask?!?
samammynanny 0
yes
liquidfireKAN 0
I hate it when girls say "honey/hunny" on the internet to refer someone it makes me want to leave this sit.
KingGeorgeGal 12
And you know what feels EXTRA good, is waiting for the right guy to do that stuff with. It makes both of you feel special and it honestly feels better than any other guy. It feels good to know that the guy loves for you and not your body. That is why I waiting 6 months and suggest you should too.
ryukk_fml 3
Have you read ANYTHING you have posted?!? Seriously? Wow.
KingGeorgeGal 12
113: Who are you referring to?
samammynanny 0
yeah ok. and I know if a guy likes me it's not for my body..... it looks just like anyone elses! :)
liquidfireKAN 0
can both of you please stop arguing, especially in response to the first comment go to a private chatroom or something.
jackt2034 0
101- yeah guys not just ANY guy. only a guy she goes out with, let's him feel her, she dumps him, and is on to the next one within a week... You obviously have a problem and want people to do that so you don't feel insecure, but the more you say, the more you sound like a ho.
samammynanny 0
but it's un to argue with strangers!!!!!
KingGeorgeGal 12
Yeah, it's for sluttyness(: Have fun knowing guys only like you because what you will give them and not for YOU.
sansan2 0
its annoyin turn off
The_Weirdo 10
63, you spell like a ho, since that was one of the few words I understood in that sentence.
liquidfireKAN 0
guys stop picking on sammy it just sounds like you have no life and have to resort to "bullying" people via the internet.
samammynanny 0
ok!
KingGeorgeGal 12
Bye Sammy, sorry if I offended you in any way I'm just trying to help you out in life so you don't end up working corners, sorry I failed.
liquidfireKAN 0
alright fine but she is being kinda harsh
ryukk_fml 3
King- refering to sam, how can one possibly need an explaination after saying what she has said on how it makes her sound like a ho. Honestly. Sam youll be safer with your mouth closed and I mean that for more than just your words.
samammynanny 0
hahaha I like u ur funny!
KingGeorgeGal 12
Thanks 133! & I'm not trying to be harsh. Obviously her parents haven't talked to her WELL enough if she thinks that letting guys feel her up is alright, I'm just trying to help her.
The_Weirdo 10
Also, if you do open your mouth, a dictionary and auto spell check would be nice.
ryukk_fml 3
Just stating how you worded things does not look good on your behalf.
samammynanny 0
I preffer girls.... just saying looks like ur very quick to judge Missy!
KingGeorgeGal 12
137: Win.
KingGeorgeGal 12
So you are a lesbian? What does that change. You still shouldn't be giving your boy away like that.
samammynanny 0
muahahahaha u silly just know that I'll be waiting!!!!!! lol that sounds weird and ya well u r silly silly silt and I don't feel like being silly anymore so I quit' I lie u catch me hehehehe but I'm the end I still won!
ryukk_fml 3
Excuse me. I must have read you all wrong. You are an ignorant, confused, remedial ho. Pardon my confusion. Have fun with your life and your body that will continuously be a wasteland for all those who just got sick of squeezing one out alone.
samammynanny 0
silly girl I am a guy not a lesbian I just happen to have boobs too!
The_Weirdo 10
Either you transformed from a ho to a fail troll, or you really need to take my advise and go buy that dictionary. Now that I think about it, both ways, you need the dictionary.
FreshPairOfNikes 0
Sammy, just shut the **** up.
Zaira921 7
I think it's time to reconsider your engagement. :/
BaconDave 12
Or get breast reduction as payback.
salvorican 24
But then how is she ever gonna get him to wear deodorant?? The man needs the inspiration lol
iSitt 0
that's ok. after the wedding, while he gets smellier, you'll get fatter. "circle of life" etc.
imaberry95 0
well I know what I'm gonna do when I'm older,
TinyDude 10
can i have the deal instead?
Bullpine 11
why should she reconsider?
little95_fml 0
I think 188 was on weed o.o
cenax27 0
who do u think u r?
regsworld11 2
that's just sad....
Garyy_fml 11
if I was him id be happy
regsworld11 2
I would too;) but I'm just saying the fact he's 22 years old and needs inspiration just to put on deodorant is pretty sad, but boobs are a nice inspiration!(:
Keyman1212 14
Wouldn't you rather massage than squeeze though?
BaconDave 12
And/Or suck
regsworld11 2
how about, all of the above?(:
lmfaoooooooooo 4
this is a win win situation for the guy he gets to squeeze boobs as long as he wants n he smells goos
regsworld11 2
yes I agree, everyone loves boobies(:
cjcstuart 7
just horrible lol
regsworld11 2
um, what is horrible?
murlocholmes 5
55 - um... do YOU like squeezing breasts? if so: 1. is it because of your lacking of breasts? if not: Call me!
OrgasmicBunnies 9
some deals... you might wanna reconsider.
LordGoober 13
lol ^
poocherz97 3
first
sanddollar88 0
comment!!!
LordGoober 13
it seems hygiene has gone out of the window for the 21st century but props for knowing every man's weakness
OceanBreathesSal 5
I thought every man's weakness was a bj?
LordGoober 13
She's working her way to it, if he stops showering she will have to step it up a notch.
LordGoober 13
Also, "he could squeeze my boob" why not both of them? Or does OP only have one?
agummere796 0
^ good point!!
KARMAREBEL 0
hope there isn't a al Qaeda member in FML or they will most likely to kill u when they saw this pic...trust me change it quick.(Al Qaeda = osama gang)
lexxiii 17
He probably would never stop squeezing with that deal
FiestaInMyPants 8
Need some eyedrops, ma'am?
ComaStance 0
Something doesn't smell right....