Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML
Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML
Today, I started my first day of nursing clinicals. My first patient was none other than my ex-girlfriend, who I recently broke up with. She has an STI. She told me I needed to get checked. FML
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML
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Top comments
thomcmoore 23
I think she kicked the wrong person.
woainishamu 21
Always gotta blame the bearer of bad news -_-
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Comments (123)
stuartn78 7
Only in South Africa…
jazzy_123 20
really? because I live in the US and I know some people with STDs.... and I also know people who hit guys in the nuts
communisttaco 16
The ****'s the matter with you?
Lebeaugars95 20
I'm sure many people in the US now want to kick you in the balls
Crossing 17
Politics...
Brandi_Faith 34
I feel like this was a joke and that #10 was making fun of all the "only in America" comments we always see. Personally his comment made me laugh seeing as nobody says it about anywhere but the states.
PewDiePie_Lover 14
#75 10? I believe you mean 11.
PewDiePie_Lover 14
also, 10 Im pretty sure you just offended millions of people in South Africa
Demoniq 25
Yeah, I don't see how that statement is applicable, #10... we may be known for many things but this is not related to one of them : OP could actually be grateful this is not a regular occurrence in this country or he'd eventually need surgery!
themetalstickman 19
Says communisttaco
cherrio27 25
I'm assuming she's never heard the saying don't shoot the messenger? Or in this case, kick him.
ItsJustMe1616 26
Actually 29, 12 would be correct in saying "don't *shoot* the messenger"
Vitally 6
You would think she'd be more hesitant to come in contact with a random guy's junk after finding out she has an STD, I guess old habits die hard.
Cupcake040 17
I dnt think your foot can catch an std which would explain why she didnt hesitate
brand125 17
did you forgot to mention you gave it to them aswell? then their reaction would fit perfectly..
TXFernwoods 26
That's a dick move. Hopefully she spreads the news to her family.
ignorantpopcorn 12
A literal dick move
Enslaved 38
Hope that's all she spreads.
TXFernwoods 26
#27, you understood what I was trying so say! :D Good4U :D
Kyp_kingofhearts 12
It happens. Some patients are hostile and all health care providers deal with them at some point.
ColonelCusswords 24
sexualy transmitted distress
mybubbles2000 13
Sorry about that. Get some ice.
jimmy_poison 19
The whole idea of applying ice to my jewels makes me cringe almost as much as the thought of the original kick!
mybubbles2000 13
Sorry. Not a guy. I was always told it helps.
MinaGermania 12
Sorry OP and she should do that to who gave her that STD
Mr_Brightside209 12
Hey, it could be worse, You could have an STD!
rachangie 19
I feel like your statement along with your user name just says it all for this one.