Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML
Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML
Today, I started my first day of nursing clinicals. My first patient was none other than my ex-girlfriend, who I recently broke up with. She has an STI. She told me I needed to get checked. FML
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML
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Top comments
thomcmoore 23
I think she kicked the wrong person.
woainishamu 21
Always gotta blame the bearer of bad news -_-
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Comments (123)
askullnamedbilly 33
Yes. That would absolutely not get a medical professional into trouble with their employer.
Rayth 19
Well on the bright side now OP can take a early vacation.
an3ph 20
You didn't reap any benefits, but you still had to pay for someone else's choices. And now you understand taxes.
False_Stupidity 42
Winning comment! From now on, when someone asks me to explain taxes, i'll just refer them to this FML.
WeskersSexslave 15
What does she expect if you guys are in Africa..
ViviMage 40
DocBastard, is that you???
Mr_retardo 8
Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
coldcrouton 1
She sounds kinda crabby. . .
communisttaco 16
If you hate terrible puns, leave now, but that's nuts.
cdawgtate 9
Mary
ruxtain 15
Maybe next time leave a note, which is safer.