By Mr. Unlucky - United States - Woodbridge

Anti-Dad

Today, after suffering a severe brain injury and receiving a large amount of money from the lawsuit for physical and mental rehab, I found out that my dad stole it all and spent it on himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5034

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228

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Money

Health

Family values

Walk on the wild side

And today, on Dr Phil…

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43587

You deserved it

3956

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By Frazzled - United States

Today, after three days of hospital camping with my very sick husband, he was finally out of danger when I left last night to get my first good night's sleep in almost 96 hours. He woke me at 5 a.m. with a phone call asking me to bring him comic books because he's bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29437

You deserved it

11277

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By dirtyclothess

Today, my mom informed me that she doesn't wash my clothes anymore. Instead, she sprays them with Febreze to "save money". FML

I agree, your life sucks

38841

You deserved it

8129

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By Backinzi - United States

Today, my 17 pound cat fell from a counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn't try to use my leg as a tree to cling onto on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32037

You deserved it

4939

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By hatedatwork - United States - Shreveport

Thanks mom!

Today, my CEO called and spoke to me like I'm a child. Apparently, she has a surprise for me, "but only if I clean up my office first." She hasn't been to my office in months because she works in another state. Turns out, someone texted her a picture of my messy office. FML

I agree, your life sucks

811

You deserved it

1727

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By "smonds13"

Doggone It

Today, my 3-year-old pooped on the floor and blamed it on the dog. How do I know? We don't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4593

You deserved it

418

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By ohgodwhy - United States

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38657

You deserved it

19102

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By jasonnn - Australia

Today, I brought a girl home. My dad's first reaction was to pull out the camera and snap away. She now won't reply to my texts or calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26189

You deserved it

2362

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By hoo flung pu - United States

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43163

You deserved it

3699

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By ElaborateScheme - United States - Palm Beach Gardens

Today, I was feeling a little bored so I decided to go outside for once. Living in Florida is nice and all except for the fact that right now I'm putting ice over two snake bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12651

You deserved it

1121

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By Anonymous - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that my 12 yr old daughter had to get in the driver's seat to order from the drive-thru. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11693

You deserved it

2808

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By Fred - Japan

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29430

You deserved it

10325

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By mybad - United States

Today, at work, a midget came in to buy beer. Not only was he almost as tall as me, he got offended when I had to card him and explain that the manager told me to card everyone, and that it wasn't because he was short. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37296

You deserved it

3252

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By Anonymous - Norway - Nesoddtangen

Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52721

You deserved it

4855

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By yeaokay - United States

Today, I had a serious conversation with my dad about my brother and I. It started with, "I love you", and ended with, "You and your brother were mistakes." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30040

You deserved it

2819

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By Ruinedchristmas - United States - Wrightsville

Today, I came home after doing some Black Friday shopping for Christmas presents. I told my husband I got the must-have toy our daughter has been dying for. As soon as I said it, I heard squealing and turned around to see her standing right behind me. There goes the surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33472

You deserved it

13812

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By Bawsack

Today, I dyed my hair. It was all going well, until I forgot I had a head full of product and scratched an itch. I didn't realise my mistake until later, and now have to replace my six-month old sofa because it has a huge stain that alternates from purple to bleach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2323

You deserved it

3013

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By Sam - United States

Today, I showed my boyfriend a picture of me in what I thought was a sexy skintight dress. He responded by saying "it's ok, I went through a pudgy stage too". The picture was from Saturday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32542

You deserved it

4238

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was pitching at a fastpitch softball game. The other team chanted about the ball being too high and almost hitting the batter in the eye. After throwing the next pitch, the ball was savagely returned by the batter, straight into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23303

You deserved it

2767

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By Anonymous - Australia - Fairfield

Today, I arrived 10 minutes early to my orthodontist's office to get my braces off. It turns out my appointment was actually one hour earlier, and now the next available appointment is in four weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23525

You deserved it

8152

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By NoTeddies - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear keyring. I had to explain that although many grown women like cuddly toys, I don't. And even if I did, a filthy, soaking wet bear he found in a puddle on the street is not a nice gesture, despite his suggestion I can just wash it in the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10905

You deserved it

1277

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By Mrs. Man - United States

Today, a stranger told me how proud he was that my boyfriend and I were so open with our sexuality. For the past three years, most strangers have thought we are a pair of gay men. I am a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36849

You deserved it

7604

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By -insert clever nickname here- - United States - Seattle

Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23425

You deserved it

14921

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By sucker and suckatash/say don't spray - United States - Pearl City

Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47895

You deserved it

6648

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By Anonymous - Thailand - Bang Bua Thong

Today, I realised that I've never been able to successfully cook a meal outside of World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26597

You deserved it

40382

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By Percy

Today, the phrase "To share everything with one's friends" took a pretty unexpected meaning when a friend of mine asked me for a date. When I told him how unlikely it was to happen because of my friendship with his girlfriend, he answered that it was no excuse as she fell in love with me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1800

You deserved it

142

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By Groom - France

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23993

You deserved it

12302

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By well fuck!

Today, I was grocery shopping with my kids. As I was buckling them into their car seats, two men jumped out of a truck, hoisted my cart and sped off. According to security, this has become a regular occurrence at the store. My entire month of groceries gone in seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2084

You deserved it

118

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By that's methed up, darling - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40793

You deserved it

6058

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By FailBear - United States

Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29509

You deserved it

6849

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By jamisbetter - United Kingdom

Today, I got headbutted for saying that Nutella is overrated. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30803

You deserved it

18920

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By AbandonedHouseWife - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, I woke up and found a little note where my husband should have been. It said, "We've had some good times, hun, but it's time for me to move on." We've been married for 15 years, and have 3 children. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47068

You deserved it

2552

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30897

You deserved it

7225

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By sorry dawg

Today, my coworker had been distraught over not being able to keep his dog after his divorce, so trying to be sweet, I'd ordered a specially-made stuffy that looked like it. I put it on his desk with a note and cookies. He thought I was mocking him and threw the plate at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1674

You deserved it

291

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By Misc. - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were just about to have sex and I was so excited to do it just like the movies. He carried me up and just as he was about to lay me on the bed he sneezed, dropping me at the same time. I hit my head. Now I have 12 stitches where my eyebrow used to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks

85826

You deserved it

8150

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm a 19 year old college student in NYC, it's Friday night and I'm sitting alone on my bed in my dorm room, talking to my mother on facebook chat. Then she stopped responding. Turns out even my mother has better things to do on Friday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31065

You deserved it

6484

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30651

You deserved it

4208

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By Sittinginthecorner - United States - Saint Charles

Today, I got a new roommate. He's from Mongolia. He has had 5 friends over for the last 7 hours, all speaking Mongolian. This is the most awkward party I have ever been to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20528

You deserved it

1865

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By nanall - United States

Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32109

You deserved it

4487

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By Quortney - United States

Today, I was working at the local grocery store and a customer of mine, who had only bought two granola bars and was holding up my line, tried to convert me to Christianity. Out of all the people to target, she chose the shy atheist who just wanted to do her minimum wage job in peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27511

You deserved it

3048

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Top comments

By ThrottleJockey | 34

#7630185 - Thursday 3 May 2018 15:52

Time for a second lawsuit, and possibly a felony charge.

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7639995 - Monday 28 May 2018 2:06

Your father is a horrid monster!

COMMENTS

By ThrottleJockey | 34

#7630185 - Thursday 3 May 2018 15:52

Time for a second lawsuit, and possibly a felony charge.

chyiochan | 31

#7639997 - Monday 28 May 2018 2:08

100% this! The only thing is, if he's a child living with the parent, and the child is not technically an adult, it may be a bit of a tough battle. I hope you get it all set OP. That's absolutely terrible.

By White Trash | 10

#7630305 - Thursday 3 May 2018 20:34

"Heyyy what are kids for..."

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7639995 - Monday 28 May 2018 2:06

Your father is a horrid monster!

By RichardPencil | 29

#7640000 - Monday 28 May 2018 2:23

Kill him and you’ll inherit it all back. And they can’t charge you with murder because you’ve got brain damage. It’s a perfect plan!

PenguinPal3017 | 19

#7640016 - Monday 28 May 2018 4:30

Depends on what he spent it on. A house? Good. Vacations, hookers, and drugs? Bad.

By Agent JPN | 9

#7640011 - Monday 28 May 2018 4:14

OK, now you need to have an "accident" befall your father which causes him brain damage, and then he can sue and collect a ton of money which you can then steal and then... oh wait.... hmmmm

By weeping_willow | 25

#7640018 - Monday 28 May 2018 4:42

Isn’t there legal action you can take in this situation?

By Alex_7759 | 13

#7640026 - Monday 28 May 2018 5:39

Seems like something my dad would do tbh

By Lobby_Bee | 17

#7640064 - Monday 28 May 2018 8:10

"children are not responsible enough to manage their own money" - Definition of irony

By Takegami | 22

#7640142 - Monday 28 May 2018 11:59

But that’s theft! You need a way to get your money back OP

By Lollerskates | 13

#7640144 - Monday 28 May 2018 12:00

Time to start a new law suit. Why shouldn't you when he obviously didn't care about you?