Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML
Today, I volunteered at a 50 km trail race for charity and was at the service of a walker. It was fun until after the walk was completed, when he made me take off his boots and socks, and massage his big, super stinky, sweaty bare feet. His putrid feet were inches from my face the entire time. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
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Top comments
ilikerainbows 0
i think i just threw up a little in my mouth
pancakes_n_syrup 0
Gross...that's why I will never be a masseuse
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Comments (188)
beckyb 0
The person probably had a yeast infection between the folds of their skin due to the warm, moist environment. Unless the OP had a compromised immune system, I don't think they had to worry about becoming infected. It is gross, but there are worse things to be worried about catching than that... like MRSA.
SonofVBeach 0
ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew.....ewewew.....EW EW EW
lady4 0
SORRY TO THE OP THAT HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT.. YEAH IT'S THEIR JOB BUT I RECOMMEND YOU CONSIDER A POLICY THAT DEALS WITH INFECTIOUS SKIN, THAT COULD BE BAD FOR YOU AND MAYBE EVEN OTHER CLIENTS.. FYL #78 IS FUCKEN RETARDED.. BITCH YOU GOT ME ****** UP... INSTEAD OF COMING ON HERE BEING AN IGNORANT **** THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY DOING SOMETHING YOURSELF TO HELP OTHERS... YEAH IT WOULD BE HELPFUL IF PEOPLE INSTEAD OF OVERSTUFFING THEMSELVES WOULD SEND MONEY TO PEOPLE WHO ARE STARVING BUT THATS NOT THE ONLY PROBLEM.. AND WHY THE **** YOU HATIN ON OBESE PEOPLE, YEAH THEY HAVE THEIR TROUBLES BUT THEY'RE HUMANS TOO... SO YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME YOU HAVE NEVER WORKED WITH AN OBESE PERSON.. ****.. IGNORANT BITCH!
dogfood_fml 3
I noticed that you referred to one obese person as "they" -> this is hilarious and sublime. And the fungus infection: super duper gross!! People should always wash and then dry themselves properly, you don't need to be fat to take this as an extra care. It should be routine.
kisskiss_fml 0
oh god #1 the correct term is massage therapist massuers give happy endings and that clearly isnt the case here im a massage therapist and im dreading the day this ever happens to me but that really sucks that he only tipped u 2 dollars what a cheap ****
kisskiss_fml 0
oh god #1 the correct term is massage therapist massuers give happy endings and that clearly isnt the case here and to all u ignorant people with ur idiotic comments some people cant help being obese because its not always that they over eat some of them actually have issues with their bodies that make them that way no matter what they do just because everyone isnt a perfect size 6 or wheatever doesnt make them gross so all of u need to stfu and get lives but back to this u can add something into ur code of ethics and ur policy if u become uncomfortable with certain things after this incident lol im a massage therapist and im dreading the day this ever happens to me but that really sucks that he only tipped u 2 dollars what a cheap ****
BaldOuting 0
you are a brave soul.
LethalMofo 0
#2 is probably the one you massaged
that_guy01 0
clean your hands with gasoline, that'll get the smell out. Then you'd just have to find a way to get the gas smell off and you're good to go.
Dhamy 0
Eww. ): Gross. ...Shower?