Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML
Today, I volunteered at a 50 km trail race for charity and was at the service of a walker. It was fun until after the walk was completed, when he made me take off his boots and socks, and massage his big, super stinky, sweaty bare feet. His putrid feet were inches from my face the entire time. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
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Top comments
ilikerainbows 0
i think i just threw up a little in my mouth
pancakes_n_syrup 0
Gross...that's why I will never be a masseuse
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Comments (188)
Person_9854 0
A massage therapist has the right to refuse any client work.
craigahh 0
#2 doesn't care because he thinks the fungus between his toes is normal. FYI, that's not normal for those of us who shower.
reetah 0
ew ew ew ew. D: (and to the people saying "quit if you're disgusted by massaging people!" um the OP isn't disgusted by people, but by fungus. get over yourselves.) and I laughed so hard to the "barks in mouth" - "arf!" comments xD
ilovefmlife 0
#2 is hilarious haha oh america and its cheap-ass-obese-citizens.
Telcontar14 0
i gotta, say, I'm thinking this is fake, if only because in the middle of the story it switched from being one obese person to more than one. however, if it is true, FYL fo sure... also, excuse my text-lingo ignorance, but what does "ydi" stand for?
WiredTechnician 26
It stands for You Deserved It, and also I think they were just trying to not say the person's gender by using their.
cthulhu1138 1
You probably could have avoided giving the massage by citing health concerns, or at least expressed such concerns to your supervisor before giving the massage. If they tried to fire you because you weren't willing to touch someone else's fungus with your bare hands, a quick call to the state attorney general's office or the Department of Labor would've gotten them off your back. They have laws against making people work in unhealthy environments, you know (unless this was made explicit when they hired you and is an integral part of the job).
Drock2009 0
As a massage therapist myself I must ask the question why you proceeded with the massage. It's obviously a sanitary issue. Furthermore I hope you did not massage any clients after completing that massage. As for the two dollar tip, ridiculous, although I wouldn't be able to perform a decent massage under that condition so i wouldn't expect anymore than that. Next time politely ask your client to leave for health purposes.
itb 0
#107, it didn't necessarily switch from being one person to more than one. "They" and "their" are often (although incorrectly) used because English has no gender-neutral third-person. OP, I'm no expert on massage certifications, but if you work for a business that doesn't allow you to refuse massage to an unhygienic customer, it could be that your employer is breaking state licensing regulations. It's worth looking into, anyway. If you're self-employed, sorry, you just have to learn to sack up, stand up for yourself and say no.
paintergirl12 0
Oh that's nasty!! Fungus?!?! So sorry, that sucks.. try rubbing hand sanitizer then cooking vanilla on your hands. you know, disinfect than make it smell better. But I am shocked at the people who associate obese people with bad hygeine. Shame on you! 107 - YDI stands for You Deserved It.
love4running 0
YDI for having poor grammar and not reserving your right to refuse service