Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML
Today, I volunteered at a 50 km trail race for charity and was at the service of a walker. It was fun until after the walk was completed, when he made me take off his boots and socks, and massage his big, super stinky, sweaty bare feet. His putrid feet were inches from my face the entire time. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ilikerainbows 0
i think i just threw up a little in my mouth
pancakes_n_syrup 0
Gross...that's why I will never be a masseuse
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (188)
gremple 0
oh wow... i feel your pain... i think i just threw up a little in my mouth
SaneN85 0
#44 and 131, I am with #30 on this one. There are a ton of minimum wage service positions that won't even allow the employees to accept tips. The purpose of a tip is to give extra for a good job, however there is a reason why it is not required. The very fact that people expect tips irritates me to no end and it is usually shown in the service that I receive. The person should be doing their job because it's what they are paid to do. PERIOD. Plus, if you are only getting paid minimum wage as a massage therapist, you are doing something wrong. However, I don't see why 1 person working in a service oriented position is entitled to extra money on top of their pay, when others aren't. I don't see why someone should feel obligated by society to pay extra money on top of what they are already paying for the service itself. Plus, if you are doing your job correctly, the patron will want to give you something extra. I don't tip more that 10% unless I get exceptional service, but when I get exceptional service, I give exceptional tips. I think that if you feel that strongly about minimum wage workers deserving a little extra, then please feel free to tip the McDonald's employee, your gas station attendant, the guy at your cell phone store, the one you buy clothes from at the department store, etc. Do not go off on a person for having a different opinion than yours, expecially considering that you probably only have that opinion because it is considered socially acceptable.
vampirerebel 0
OP, FYL, that is disgusting, and no one should have to go through it. @ anyone who refuse service, in some states you can't refuse service to ANYONE unless that person has signed a clause saying the company has the right to refuse service under the very specifically documented circumstances. It is not that easy. Buy body butter and a pumas stone. It hurts, but it's effective at getting the smell off, I promise. No one should allow their body to become ridden with fungus, I don't care how overweight you are, that is unnecessary. To anyone saying that it is the fat person who was disgusting, that is incredibly unjustified. Honestly some people cannot help their weight. Obesity can be genetic, it can be a real health problem, such as a gland problem that causes excessive water retention, or a thyroid problem. Once you get past a certain point it becomes incredibly difficult to lose weight, no matter what you are doing, too. @ #134, yes some obese people have eating disorders, but I am pretty sure most of them were just raised a certain way, and never learned self-control. Other people are just naturally big. My sister is significantly larger than I am, but she doesn't eat much more than I do, and she exercises more than I do. It happens, get over it. @ #2, if you don't give a shit, don't read it. And if you really care so little why the **** did you take the time and energy to comment? Seriously, stop being a hypocritical ass. And @ anyone who commented on the tip thing, everyone deserves tips if they work in customer service of any variety. Let's face it, most people are SHITTY customers! if you have to deal with something out of the ordinary, especially, the person you are working with should recognize this, and THANK YOU by tipping you well! I do not work in a field where I am going to get tipped, and I don't care, because I recognize this, but seriously, if someone was massaging me, and did a good job, I would tip them. The only way I wouldn't tip them would be if they HURT me in some way. getting tipped $2 is shitty-as, and I am so sorry for you. Go to the dollar tree and buy some hygienic materials to keep at work with you?
Nacirema20 0
#81.... wtf? NOONE can live a yr without eating!!!!!!! neways. FYL. :-/ that IS gross... :-(( but, c'mon people, you guys r soo mean!! "obese people r gross..." thats so rude and mean. :-/
Delisha 0
that's soooo f-ing nasty. u should have kept that gross sh*t to urself. damn!!!
foreverblair 0
wear gloves...?
buttonface 0
play in traffic, cuntzilla.
TrueRaiderFan22 0
that's cuz they need their money for cheezburgerz num num num
dave3 3
**** that I wouldn't have done it
makeworldpeace 0
that's disgusting. but don't masseusses have to wear gloves? i would think.