Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML
Today, I volunteered at a 50 km trail race for charity and was at the service of a walker. It was fun until after the walk was completed, when he made me take off his boots and socks, and massage his big, super stinky, sweaty bare feet. His putrid feet were inches from my face the entire time. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
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Top comments
ilikerainbows 0
i think i just threw up a little in my mouth
pancakes_n_syrup 0
Gross...that's why I will never be a masseuse
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Comments (188)
wallythedolly 0
I want to vomit.
airandfingers 0
Seriously, #2, this is pretty disgusting. #69: Most people they massage probably aren't hot 20 year olds, but I would hope for (but probably not expect) customers to show a tiny bit of good hygiene. It's like clerks in stores having to deal with crazy assholes: they know they can't expect all customers to be sweet and friendly, but that shouldn't keep them from saying "f my life" when some guy screams at them and flails a bag of peaches all over the store.
KeithHarris 0
I used to be a massage therapist and most people are gross. That's just the way it is. And yeah, usually the grosser they are, the less they tip. So yeah, I feel for ya.
pokipoki 0
ouch. i feel bad for OP. That's so gross...
Dip_Fartson 0
That's when you fake explosive diarrhea and go home "sick". FYL!
neurorot 0
#2 - uh huh, you try giving some severely obese, unhygenic **** a massage next time.
nottootoxic 0
The post should have read "I went to brown institute to become a massage therapist, fml."
hayley320 0
OMG YOU POOR THING! I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU! SEE THIS IS WHY FAT PEOPLE ARE GROSS! AND THIS IS WHY I HATE FAT PEOPLE THERE DISGUSTING AND THEY SMELL AND ALL THEY DO IS EAT! THEY SHOULD STOP STUFFING THEIR FACES WITH FOOD WHEN THEY DONT NEED IT AND DONATE IT TO PEOPLE WHO ARE STARVING!!!
k_li 0
Omg. . .. thats so disgusting You shouldve stopped and told them and say its a health concern to you if you continue How do they have sex . . .ew . . .
kitkat101 0
It was probably a yeast infection. I used to work in the skincare industry, so I've heard about this before. Yeast infections aren't just for "female parts" - you can get a yeast infection anywhere that there is a lot of moisture and not a lot of light. People who are overweight can get yeast infections in their fat rolls because there's a lot of sweat in there and the skin in there obviously doesn't see the light of day. If that client comes back, tell them that they should see a doctor. #11 is totally right - you should know better.