Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML
Today, I volunteered at a 50 km trail race for charity and was at the service of a walker. It was fun until after the walk was completed, when he made me take off his boots and socks, and massage his big, super stinky, sweaty bare feet. His putrid feet were inches from my face the entire time. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
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Top comments
ilikerainbows 0
i think i just threw up a little in my mouth
pancakes_n_syrup 0
Gross...that's why I will never be a masseuse
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Comments (188)
0 3
If you are a masseuse, then you can't complain because that's your job.
amsilent 0
i made an account just to say this. #2 if you're gonna ******* say, "who give's a shit" why even post? making such a crybaby response if you don't care. if you dont "give" a shit, then stfu. it is honestly annoying beyond shit that people will cry about someone's post on FML. if you DONT CARE, move the HELL ON with your life. and yes, i do care. people are you are douchebags who are busy bodies who need to say the littlest of shit because you can't deal with it. this fml isnt an fml, or it IS an fml, but i'm an asshole and i think YDI anyways, or i dont give a shit, but i'm going to be hypocritical and complain about it. BOO HOO. STFU. to OP. i'm sorry, i don't see who you deserve it, fyl.
Zoa_fml 0
No, no way! I wouldn't have done it, the customer is not always right! Hell no, she shouldn't have to suffer just because people live their lives in unhealthy ways...GROSS Note to all who are obese, if you are not going to make an effort to lose weight at least learn how to cleanse yourselves properly!
acertijo 0
omg :/ I totally agree with #62.
snoopy24_fml 0
hahaha #27....:)
RiverRelic 0
You know, I'd like to believe most really fat people are aware of how others see them and try to go out of the way to not let their fat affect other's lives. They'll do things like avoid getting on a crowded elevator or wear clothes way too tight, or put on a speedo or bikini at the pool. But then, you get those few who find some sick pleasure in making you squirm. Those fat people should be hunted down.
whitesmoke 0
anyone mad at you for posting this, saying you're a whiner... are clearly fat ***** who need to lay off the cheese burgers... this is beyond disgusting
Mirranduhh 0
Definitely FYL. That is so disgusting. Im sorry you ahd to put up with that. As to people putting all obese people into one category, go jump in a hole. Some obese problems are actual health things that they can not change no matter how much they work out. Just because one person can not cleanse themselves doesnt mean they all cant. Idiots
mattmag 0
what did you expect when you became a massage therapist? all hot 20 year olds?
Kickinchicken213 3
#3 That's disgusting