Don't do that here

Oh the pressures of being first ;)

I was eating a Panera sandwich when I read this. FML.

According to an ad on the right of my computer screen, elliptical prices are reaching an all-time low.

What a waste of first. But anyways, OP, you just need to learn to clean yourself better. You just aren't showering properly or enough. But this might also be a good time to lose weight. It will be better for your self-esteem and you'll be healthier.

9: Nobody should do that anywhere. 23: Very clever!

Is it an unwritten rule that the first comment has to be the pinnacle of all responses, a philosophical masterpiece, the zenith of mankind's intellect, or so powerful that somewhere in Ancient Greece someone jizzes themselves??

71 - yes, yes it is.

You put a lot of thought into that, didn't you?

27 - It would most definitely appear so.

But watch out for the guy in orange!

May want to hit the shower first actually....

Shower, then gym, then shower again!

Experience? Lol

7- Yeah, cuz she looks SO fat in her picture, right?

Thanks for the diagnosis doc!

Forget the smell, Doc. OP deserves it just for being in denial about his own obesity (and by extension, his health).

I considered hurling human waste at them Doc, but I haven't found a suitable storage system for pre throw transport yet.

My ex daughter in-law, used to put clothe diapers in her fat rolls to soak up the molding sweat! Nastiest thing I ever smelled, and my smelling of it was not intentional.

Dude... That's disgusting... :S

You're not sure it's OP's fault. A medication I'm on made me gain almost 100 pounds in a year, even with diet and exercise on my part, desperately trying to at least slow it down. The mold however, they definitely deserved.

Sure, it's often a genetic or medical thing, but I'd say if that were the case you'd have already come to terms with being obese. I say OP deserved it because from the wording, it seems OP has been ignoring the problem, something you'd do if it were a choice.

18: The OP deserved it because of his attitude; the stink-mold in his fat rolls is just incidental. OP shouldn't have been in denial about his own obesity. If he'd been aware of the state of his health, he'd very likely wouldn't be obese.