Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML
Today, I volunteered at a 50 km trail race for charity and was at the service of a walker. It was fun until after the walk was completed, when he made me take off his boots and socks, and massage his big, super stinky, sweaty bare feet. His putrid feet were inches from my face the entire time. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
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Top comments
ilikerainbows 0
i think i just threw up a little in my mouth
pancakes_n_syrup 0
Gross...that's why I will never be a masseuse
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Comments (188)
tr1x_ 1
make it a requirement that your clients shower thoroughly before their appointment.
wordgirl 0
#3 haaaaaa! Loved it.
wordgirl 0
What's with all the obese people with fungus on this site?!!! If I were obese, I would WASH MYSELF!
beckyb 0
Washing or not washing is not entirely the problem. Yeast likes to grow in warm, moist places that have little or no oxygen... which sometimes happens to be in skin folds of obese people. Yeast is part of the normal skin flora, so even if you wash regularly, the area needs to be kept dry too. If it was indeed a yeast infection as I suspect, it would not be contagious because while is technically a fungus, it is not contagious in the sense that mold is because it does not produce spores. It simply colonizes and invades when the conditions are right. Now, if it were an actual fungal skin infection (like tinea corporis) I would be more worried because that is contagious by skin to skin contact.
Jka_fml 0
you should have refused to massage the client due to sanitation reasons....
poobear 0
you deserve it for giving the massage the second i saw them id run back out of the room and refuse to massage them thats ******* disgusting
cripples_09 0
So what it was disgusting...... suck it up!! just because you had one bad experience with one type of person doesn't mean that you have to create a stereotype for all of them, that is extremely insensitive and unprofessional
Wooooooow 0
I think # 2 is obese too . AHaha
yojoeletsmakeout 0
15 ftw. hahahaha.
burto520 0
lies