Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML
Today, I volunteered at a 50 km trail race for charity and was at the service of a walker. It was fun until after the walk was completed, when he made me take off his boots and socks, and massage his big, super stinky, sweaty bare feet. His putrid feet were inches from my face the entire time. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
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Top comments
ilikerainbows 0
i think i just threw up a little in my mouth
pancakes_n_syrup 0
Gross...that's why I will never be a masseuse
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Comments (188)
Wololo 0
Ugh. Fat people are disgusting. And you shouldn't have to continue with the massage if there's fat-fungus everywhere. Seriously, biohazard.
SoFaded80 0
ooh that sucks...im goin to massage therapy school in a few months i dont wanna have to do that ha
snowFML 0
Lol, #37 is probably a fatty herself.
suicidekings 0
had the OP refused to massage Ms. Obese on the grounds of safety/health concern, then Ms. Obese probably would have filed a discrimination complait and probably get the OP fired. Ever heard of "the customer is always right"? haven't we seen enough FMLs where the OP has been wrongly fired because of a bitch customer... fyl dude. go boil your hands.
pearls 0
#50 "Welcome to the profession you chose. Did you think everyone you gave a massage to would be a hot, 20 year old model?" It's not like the OP was disgusted that the person was fat, they were disgusted at the fungi. that's totally different. The profession she chose was massage therapist, not a fungal scraper or whatever.
taylipn 0
#2. i think if you were forced to massage (for the job) into that fungus and didnt get tipped well with the stench still with you, it would be pretty FYL. try getting over it that. seriously.
indecision 0
OMG eww. FYL for sure. That's the grossest thing ever.
MiNeS2206 0
that is messed up in so many ways!!!
jSOPURE 3
Don't spend it all in one place! :)
kk_fml 0
#2, #4, #20, #30, #37 and #50 are all obese