Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML
Today, I volunteered at a 50 km trail race for charity and was at the service of a walker. It was fun until after the walk was completed, when he made me take off his boots and socks, and massage his big, super stinky, sweaty bare feet. His putrid feet were inches from my face the entire time. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
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Top comments
ilikerainbows 0
i think i just threw up a little in my mouth
pancakes_n_syrup 0
Gross...that's why I will never be a masseuse
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Comments (188)
mhernandez0610 0
could this be considered a stink palm?
ginnylou 0
dude I wouldn't have done it...I would have quit just because of that!
doodlingdavid 0
someone needs to learn to wash themselves better.
Headcrab 29
should gave refused her.
dmadsen33 9
Aw I'm so sorry... Wow, that's the reason I didn't become a masseuse.! I reccomend you to take a bath in alcohol. it might sting a little though. O_o
Joey01616 0
Should've told'em "keep the tip and buy a descent body wash "
xXcaraXx 2
Being a massager u gotta be ready for anything........ ;)
Vedanta 0
...time to bring out the black light...
remainthesamex3 14
Any type of fungus is definitely a contraindication. The proper thing to do would have been to explain to them that you believe they may have a condition which you cannot diagnose but recommend consulting their physician about.
nicholasj96 9
Foh, tell your boss she has a fungus . They can't make you give her a massage after that, that's interfering with your health .