Miscellaneous: Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started... - FML

By are you kidding me? - 10/03/2014 08:22 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 521

You deserved it 4 477

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 18:23

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 118

You deserved it 3 558

By an idiot - 16/02/2013 18:03 - Australia

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 002

You deserved it 7 822

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 343

You deserved it 14 485

Diversion tactics

By Anonymous - 19/10/2021 08:00

Today, upon getting the paperwork for my Court Diversion, I found out I had to write an apology letter to my brother. The brother who sent me to jail for trying to get him to stop abusing his girlfriend, and holding him instead of fighting when he charged at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 69

By bellaskyeb - 08/01/2012 17:42 - United States

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 262

You deserved it 4 243

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 652

You deserved it 2 457

It wasn't me!

By Anonymous - 15/03/2015 18:40 - United States - Charleston

Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 866

You deserved it 2 724

Well done

By Anonymous - 17/10/2015 11:41 - United States - Mechanicsville

Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 312

You deserved it 4 290

By Already Broke Asf - 18/11/2015 01:51 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, my 19-year-old brother broke into my dorm and robbed me. When I tried to file a report, my brother went to my parents and told them that he took it because I owed him money on a bet. Guess who lost $92.50. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 023

You deserved it 2 334

By hot_mess88 - 04/07/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 111

You deserved it 2 587

Next

Top comments

capslockisgood 19

Monday 10 March 2014 15:05

Owl bet he feels pretty dumb now!

That_Ginger 18

Monday 10 March 2014 15:05

Your location verifies my suspicion that your brother fought Ron Weasely. What a lucky guy.

Comments

capslockisgood 19

Monday 10 March 2014 15:05

Owl bet he feels pretty dumb now!

ComoEsJuan 24

Monday 10 March 2014 15:29

Hoo would do such a thing?

purpleturtle16 20

Monday 10 March 2014 15:32

You should've let him handle it owl by himself. Owl he needs is a little self control.

TourettesGuyFTW 25

Monday 10 March 2014 15:52

This owl pun is a tawny bit barn-y.

\ 28

Monday 10 March 2014 16:11

He needs a better owlet for his anger.

Gaber64 11

Monday 10 March 2014 16:28

These puns are pure gold

Nickb55 16

Monday 10 March 2014 16:47

Yeah they sure are a hoot!

hellnosucka 27

Monday 10 March 2014 16:54

owl hunt him down for you

toaster123 11

Monday 10 March 2014 17:37

he shouldnt have get into a browl.... over an owl...

julako 22

Monday 10 March 2014 23:45

howly shit! hope you two are owlright!

REALAfroninga 11

Tuesday 11 March 2014 1:49

Wowl. I didn't think these puns would make me laugh so hard!!

False_Stupidity 41

Tuesday 11 March 2014 2:45

Sounds like the brother had a real hoot, that is until he ended up spending owl night in jail.

BoltTheSuperdog 22

Tuesday 11 March 2014 7:31

It must be nice for him to know that you'll owlways be there for him!

Obacooba 14

Tuesday 11 March 2014 12:31

Owl bet he has snow friends now. He is probably tawny apart. Owl would have don't the same thing as him.

Babbit 6

Tuesday 11 March 2014 19:21

is he owlways this short tempered?

Cleu 12

Thursday 13 March 2014 6:37

Some of these puns are a real hoot, but some of these are just owlful!

JmarChanology 20

Tuesday 13 October 2015 9:35

Owl the Kings horses and owl the Kings men...

That_Ginger 18

Monday 10 March 2014 15:05

Your location verifies my suspicion that your brother fought Ron Weasely. What a lucky guy.

Voij 16

Monday 10 March 2014 16:07

He probably fought a mouse, a shrew or perhaps Simon Cowell. Y'know, 'cause everyone [else] is fond of owls. (I hope anybody gets this.)

dawnimus 21

Tuesday 11 March 2014 2:10

There's owls in your dressing room.

Lehk 9

Thursday 13 March 2014 0:49

owls in your gravy.

Welshite 39

Monday 10 March 2014 15:06

He's just bitter because he wasn't accepted into Hogwarts.

BrickTamlandLamp 13

Monday 10 March 2014 15:06

I was gonna say a pun about owls but they don't fly around here

SemiAuto 21

Monday 10 March 2014 22:04

Sometimes you just gotta wing it!

SatinsNightmares 17

Monday 10 March 2014 15:07

I see Harry's getting a little crazy.

lengi123 18

Tuesday 11 March 2014 3:57

R.I.P. Hedwig :'(

MsConfusedd 27

Monday 10 March 2014 15:08

Whooo doesn't like owls?

Dmc169 9

Monday 10 March 2014 15:08

And I thought that we in the U.S. got into fights over stupid stuff

gracehi 31

Monday 10 March 2014 15:59

Nope. That'd be Scotland.Everyone knows that the Scottish are tough and love to fight. But you tend to be tough in a country where the thistles are waist high and no one's invented trousers.

travelfreak 20

Monday 10 March 2014 15:11

Owlch I bet that hurt

un4tunately 4

Monday 10 March 2014 15:16

Absolutely not.

WellThatSucked89 13

Monday 10 March 2014 15:48

Too hard.

el_mermaid 16

Monday 10 March 2014 17:43

You tried a bit too hard

Sinistra_Blue 12

Monday 10 March 2014 15:12

"Hey, don't you just LOVE owls more than anything else in the whole wide world?" "What? Uh, not really?" *punch*

Black_Knight80 13

Monday 10 March 2014 15:12

sheesh where was that owl city?

Keywords

Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Work Awkward Parents Relatable Job interview Facebook Jealousy Social Media Love Weird Miscellaneous Friends Relationship advice Kids AITA Shoes Annoying Roommate Names Music Customers Education Capitalism Money Gamers Bodyshaming Coworkers

The Top

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 732

You deserved it 4 481

Today, I hooked up with a guy I know from the gym. This dude is built like The Hulk, over 6 feet tall and almost 24 stone. We were really getting into it when he slipped and his whole weight went onto my knee, which bent completely the wrong way and dislocated everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 119

The Top

Today, I was studying for a midterm, so I put my computer on the side of my desk to make more room for my books. My roommate came in while I wasn't paying attention and tackle-hugged me from behind - I fell over, knocking my computer out the window. I live on the 8th floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 650

You deserved it 7 930

Today, carrying my 10-month old niece down the stairs, I missed a step. Protecting her on the way down, I badly sprained my right foot and snapped the ligament in my left. I now can’t walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 139

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 798

You deserved it 5 065

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 973

You deserved it 36 992

Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 152

You deserved it 151 555

Today, my boyfriend told me that if he was to break up with me, he would do it in a crowded location so I couldn't start to cry or make a scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 192

You deserved it 5 045