Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I hung out with a friend who has been too busy to hang out with me in a few months. I decided to make the day super special with fun plans and spent a lot of money doing so. When I got home, her Facebook status said, "Pointless day, gone to bed." FML
Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he'd head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML
Today, my wife finally let our kids stay the night at my mom's house, meaning we had our first night totally alone together in 6 years. She spent all night texting my mom for updates on the kids or on the phone to her sister, so I watched a film by myself then went to bed bored at 8:15 p.m. FML
Today, I saw that my ex-boyfriend was online and had no plans. I felt extreme happiness knowing he had no life. Then I realized that I was online and had no plans. FML
Today, I spent one night with my phone turned off so I could finally relax. When I turned it back on I had 17 missed calls from siblings wanting to moan about their spouses, 5 calls from mom, 6 from dad, 2 from work, and 2 from my ex. I think I’ve earned some time alone, don’t you? FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML
Today, I was checking my friends' posts on Facebook and all of them were complaining what a boring night they had. They were all just at my house. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend wanted to spend time online with me. He kept quiet on Skype and went on a hundred different stupid websites, laughing by himself. Afterwards, he told me he really enjoyed our time together. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
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Top comments
hiyourcute 0
Well, Sheldon could drive any woman to cheat...
DocBastard 40
Imagine what his reaction would have been if you'd said you'd be spending the night with Two and a Half Men.
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Comments (106)
mzkay7 1
To me it seems he was joking or just plain gullible to actually think you were
Shelta957 13
Or maybe he doesn't know the show...
kristat 14
I'm sure after explaining it everything was fine, but that's pretty funny.
StanSmith_fml 9
Sounds kinky.
emba_fml 13
did anyone else read that in stan smith's voice?
kurodansei 16
Bazinga?
KiddNYC1O 22
Tell him he can you Kaley Cuoco from now on.
emba_fml 13
you accidentally the verb
KiddNYC1O 22
Haha, thanks. call*
Wood2007 0
He obviously doesn't watch The Big Bang Theory.
rebelzomm 10
You dont say?
brntoober 1
And Penny too!
nonnieluv 9
That is my show!! I freaking love Jim parsons
terrask 11
1- Your boyfriend's a keeper ;) 2- First free night in a months and you didn't see your boyfriend? You have the libido of a buddhist monk my friend... no wonder your BF's a bit stressed.
l0v3p4in 7
It would have been a good comeback if your boyfriend had replied, "That's okay, Babe. I'm spending time with 2 Broke Girls."
BradenLock 4
YES.
doglover100 29
He missed out on an awesome comeback.