Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I hung out with a friend who has been too busy to hang out with me in a few months. I decided to make the day super special with fun plans and spent a lot of money doing so. When I got home, her Facebook status said, "Pointless day, gone to bed." FML
Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he'd head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML
Today, my wife finally let our kids stay the night at my mom's house, meaning we had our first night totally alone together in 6 years. She spent all night texting my mom for updates on the kids or on the phone to her sister, so I watched a film by myself then went to bed bored at 8:15 p.m. FML
Today, I saw that my ex-boyfriend was online and had no plans. I felt extreme happiness knowing he had no life. Then I realized that I was online and had no plans. FML
Today, I spent one night with my phone turned off so I could finally relax. When I turned it back on I had 17 missed calls from siblings wanting to moan about their spouses, 5 calls from mom, 6 from dad, 2 from work, and 2 from my ex. I think I’ve earned some time alone, don’t you? FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML
Today, I was checking my friends' posts on Facebook and all of them were complaining what a boring night they had. They were all just at my house. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend wanted to spend time online with me. He kept quiet on Skype and went on a hundred different stupid websites, laughing by himself. Afterwards, he told me he really enjoyed our time together. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
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Top comments
hiyourcute 0
Well, Sheldon could drive any woman to cheat...
DocBastard 40
Imagine what his reaction would have been if you'd said you'd be spending the night with Two and a Half Men.
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Comments (106)
pizzaboterham 10
Your boyfriend has the right to send you that text. Have you seen Sheldon? Damn he's hot!
SukiIzumi 8
I've never seen the show and I knew what that was.
twifan1901 0
Ha like he wouldn't want to spend the night with Penny!
BradenLock 4
It surprises me how many people love that show. Personally I can't stand it. To each their own I suppose :p
ecascio2010 9
Your bf is an idiot. I'd stick with Leonard and Sheldon.
Michaelsgirl04 9
*knock knock* Penny *knock knock* Penny *knock knock* Penny
PinkFun1969 9
So Funny so "the boyfriend" would not be able to understand the "boys" from the big bang. lol
ocramavaf 15
@41 or the new girl and/or desperate housewives
COLDB3AR 6
Now why would anyone believe that you're hanging out with famous people?
Eiregal2 10
If he follows up with " bazinga!" it's cool lol